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24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"

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Wondering what to say in your business voicemail greetings? Read on to learn how to record a good voicemail that is professional (or funny) to encourage callers to leave a message.
Inspirational Quotes. Leave your caller with something meaningful to think about. Mark Twain . The classic adage "when greatness calls" can be used as a funny greeting."When greatness calls, I may not be able to pick up my phone immediately, so leave a message." .

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4. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?… long pause and beep sound.
>Check out these great Christmas voice mail message ideas from the folks at Smart on Hold

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3. Available Agents Greeting. What callers hear when they are routed to an available agent. Sample Scripts: “Please hold while you are connected to the next available agent.”
"Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."

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Eight days ago she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's gone straight to voicemail ever since.

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Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

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    knocking at a wooden roomdoor in different ways. short and aggressive styles. throbing at the door and hectic knocking and ... knock door room throb zombie wooden locked aggressive Dog eating Neck of Goose / Chewing / Breaking Bones - mp3 version Dog eating Neck of Goose / Chewing / Breaking Bones - ogg version Dog eating Neck of Goose / Chewing / Breaking Bones - waveform Dog eating Neck of Goose / Chewing / Breaking Bones - spectrogram 194212.0

    -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.-Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this …
    Website: http://soundcommunication.holdcom.com/bid/67458/Personal-vs-Business-Voicemail-Greetings

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    No42: A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.

    So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk.
    Work from anywhere. LinkedPhone serves the small business community with local & toll-free business numbers that work with your cell phone, desk phone, & laptop. Our mobile app creates a dedicated 2nd number so you can talk & text with clients on the go. Keep your business stuff separate from your personal stuff. Share a common business number with team members. Break free from the desk phone & go mobile. With LinkedPhone, freedom rings! 🔔📱💻☎️

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    So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been?

    What you do not want to do is say your phone number so quickly that the person has to listen to your voicemail multiple times to try and figure out your phone number. We have all gotten those annoying voicemail messages where the person said their phone number so quickly that we had to listen to their message several times to figure out their phone number. Don't be that jerk who leaves their phone number so fast that the other person has to listen to your message over and over to try and figure out what your phone number is.
    Please hang up, and check the number, and dial again, and your card number, and check the number again, and ask information operator for assistance for fifteen minutes, and deposit 40 cents.

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    Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.

    Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone.
    Recording the message yourself doesn’t mean it can’t be done professionally. You can still get studio time with an experienced audio engineer. Studio time can cost $60-$100 per hour, which may or may not come with an engineer. If you need to hire one, their rates are usually $100-$300 an hour. Mind you, their feedback, professional experience, and editing capabilities are typically well worth the extra expense.

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OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.

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1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."

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Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/1976/12/funny-voicemail-greetings-audio.html

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This script is very informative for motivated sellers. However, I do not have the years of experience you mentioned in the beginning. Still worth a try because I can tweak it.

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