-Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
how do i make a personal voicemail greeting
Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.
(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
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Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Authors | Topics | Sitemap To hear these greetings, you need the Real Audio Player 3.0 or greater. Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes John F. Kennedy Quotes John Lennon Quotes Mahatma Gandhi Quotes Marilyn Monroe Quotes Mark Twain Quotes I don't like it Nudity / Pornography Irrelevant to this topic There is no quote on image Your intellectual property
23. Hello, thank you for calling [business name]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and a member of our team will return your call within 24 hours.
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-Hi, you’ve reached _____________. Please leave a message after my kid stops (awkward moment of silence) owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!… continuing… after my kid stops hitting me in the back with his hockey stick! BEEP
3. Stammer-Filled Voicemail Greeting from Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him.
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Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked. So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag.
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Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages I've put in for you guys. Download: Click on icon next to each track or the 'FULL BOARD' button to add to your cart Per Track: $0.99 or FULL BOARD $4.99. Singing, Coca-Cola Version. Spice Girls. Having Sex, Ahhh. Marvin The Martian. Mission Impossible
Our funny voice mail greetings are uploadable to any voicemail system or answering machine you can call into to change your greeting, so you can have a funny voice greeting on your cell phone or home phone! (Click Here to Learn How) All voice greetings are delivered at the time of purchase in a .zip file containing a .wav file, an .mp3 file
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Best Wishes CelebrationsBirthday Congratulations Holidays Get Well Love Sympathy Thank You
10 Voicemail Greeting Scripts. Now that you know the principles of our voicemail greeting philosophy, it is time to take a closer look at some standard and best-practice examples you can use for your business. Not all of these example scripts serve the same purpose.
Hello, we are unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number unless of course you are a salesman or trying to solicit money.
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I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on
Best Answering Machine Messages The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine
Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time.
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4. Liam Neeson Threatens and Delights Your Callers. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
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"Hi, this is John ... I can't come to the phone right now, because I'm busy sorting M & M's. So leave your name and number, and when I can get back to you, and as soon as I get them in alphabetical order, I'll call you up." Toggle mobile menu Toggle search field Category: Funny voicemail greetings audio (Page 1 of 2) 25.04.2021 / Faera / Comments
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Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost your voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.
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Funny Answering Machine Messages. "Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished." Â "Hi, you have reached the Borg collective.
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It starts off pretty normal until Jimmy witnesses said car accident while speaking:
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by Vozshura updated on 30.01.202130.01.2021 Comments on Funny voicemails to leave a friend
Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages. Semper Fi. Leave your order after the beep. You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on and on, wasting your time. No more. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me! I promise.
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And here are some sample voicemail greeting scripts for doctors, lawyers, and dentists, in case you're not looking for business greetings. 1. Personal Business Voicemail Greeting. Your personal voicemail greeting should be brief and to the point. State your name and your availability, project a welcoming aura, and ask the caller for whatever
04You have reached the offices of [your company/business]. Our representatives are all currently engaged. If you leave us a message with your name and number, we will get back to you in the earliest possible time. Thank you for calling and have a good day. Lines can often get busy for companies that have several representatives. This reassures clients that someone will get back to them once they are free.
My grandpa (RIP)'s outgoing voicemail message used to give their phone # instead of their name. "Hi, you've reached 555-1234, leave your message at the beep."
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Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? If so, scroll for some really funny voice-mail greetings, which will surely bring a smile on your, as well as your caller's face.
Now, we’ve covered the topic a bit at length in the past, with sure-fire ways to engage callers with your business voicemail greeting. Still a solid basis for constructing your new voicemail greeting, we’ll cover a quick recap of the most important aspects of a voicemail greeting for those that are unfamiliar.
Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions.
10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you. You are half-way there.
Below are examples of excellent professional voicemail greetings for various situations to help you get started in creating your own perfect greeting! For each, we’ve included helpful tips, a sample voicemail greeting script, and an audio recording. The greetings are grouped by company greetings, department / team greetings, and personal business greetings. These greetings are likely longer than what you would want to use in real life – but our goal is to help you generate ideas to help you create your own!
Description: Funny Answering Machine Messages. Free ringtones download to cell phone for free. High quality ringtones. Set ringtone as phone call. Free Ring Tones. Quality: MP3 128 Kbps, 16 bit / 44.100 khz Duration: 00:21 sec Audio Size: 345 Kb Licence: The sound is licensed under “private use only” theme songs | music ringtones | message tones | movie ringtones | old phone ringtones | instrumental ringtones | sfx | funny ringtones | star wars ringtones | scary ringtones Next story Salut d’amour Ringtone Previous story Prison Break Theme Song You may also like...
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Be honest...you've been fooled by this one before, haven't you? It goes like this: riiiing, riiing, riiiing "Hey." "Hi, it's Juli what's up?" "Oh. I'm not here right now, leave me a message after the beep". There is actually very little I find more irritating than this voicemail, especially for business. Why do you want to fake out a business opportunity? This voicemail leaves callers feeling embarrassed and you looking foolish.
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Like, right before you recorded this greeting you realized how dumb it would be to leave instructions. But you still wanted me to know how dumb it would be for you to leave instructions, so you wasted 20 seconds of my time telling me that you already knew I would know how to do it.
Thanks for sharing, It describes about Numerical limit not apply during Quarter which means spillover should occur quarterly. I don't think they follow that today.
I love this script! Thank you for giving down to earth advice. I would love to work with it.
04You have reached the offices of [your company/business]. Our representatives are all currently engaged. If you leave us a message with your name and number, we will get back to you in the earliest possible time. Thank you for calling and have a good day. Lines can often get busy for companies that have several representatives. This reassures clients that someone will get back to them once they are free.
Our friend Jim then proceeds to describe what happens as the man gets out of his truck to go chastise the women he’d just driven into. He reaches the driver’s window when events take a sudden and violent turn:
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23. Hello, thank you for calling [business name]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and a member of our team will return your call within 24 hours.
Are you ready to talk to the answering machine? Now you can with MY voice message. It listens, records, and even has a beep! Unlike other voicemails, every word is heard. This is a huge value, all for just 2 easy payments and one complicated payment. If you leave a message within the next 10 seconds, I will return your call free of charge. This offer is not available in stores, so leave a message now. Self-evident Jane Barbe (not a real recording, her real voice mashup) makes sure that you know…
7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
Thank you for posting the video. I think the script is well put together and seems somewhat pesonal.
Information: Your business voicemail should provide all the information the caller needs. ...Validation: A great professional voicemail greeting should thank the caller for their call and apologize for missing it. ...Motivation: The aim of a professional voicemail is to keep the caller on the line long enough to listen to your message. ...
Tonberries enjoy dark, shadowy places lit only by their lamps or dim natural light, and are most often found living in the depths of empty caves or ancient ruins. Though they seem to be peaceful creatures living in large, friendly societies, the presence of an outsider in their territory can make them very angry. tonberry, May 24, 2003 Joined: Feb 22, 2001 Messages: 3,328 Location: Casa de Non Compos Mentis "You have reached the residence of ..... currently we are out hunting other people to cook and fry for dinner. Please leave your phone number and address and we will get back to you." allhailIndia, May 26, 2003 Joined: Sep 4, 2002 Messages: 53 "Hello?.... Wait, i can't hear you.... just a second.... BEEP bige2002, May 26, 2003 One of Dad's friends had an answering machine that said... Hello? * you start saying message* Oh yeah! I'm not here! Please leave a message. *beep* puglover, May 26, 2003 Joined: Nov 10, 2002 Messages: 1,536 Location: NY, NY
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To improve a a business voicemail greeting, keep these eight rules at the forefront of the creative process: Avoid turning customers off with overused and impersonal phrases like “your call is very important to us..." Avoid leaving customers unsure by not immediately telling them the business, department, and/or person they’ve reached. Avoid leaving customers confused with too many details and complications; just keep it simple. Avoid messages longer than 25 seconds. Do apologize for being unavailable at the moment. Do invite the caller to leave a message. Do tell the caller when they can expect a return call and actually follow through within that timeframe. Do tell the caller about any applicable alternative options of contact and information- website, live chat, email, social media, or emergency numbers. Voicemail Greetings 101
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
– Sorry, I can’t be everywhere, and sitting by the phone ready to take your call, just isn’t going to happen. The best thing to do is to leave your message and not be offended that I wasn’t able to speak with you. Thanks.
5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].
The next step is very important and you need to get it right. Say your phone number two times very slowly so the person has enough time to write down your number as they are listening to your message the first time.
Now, towards the end, I want to be sure and set the expectation that I'm probably not going to be in a position to pay you full market value for your property and I explained why. However, I can pay a fair price based on the condition and the situation you have at hand.
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Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
“Good morning. You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name]. Today is [date]. Please leave me a message with your name and contact information. Oh, and here’s my motivational quote of the day: [read quote].”
#9 “Hey, this is Bryan, sorry I missed your call. You can leave me a message, or shoot me an email at bryanallain at gmail dotcom and I’ll get back to you. Thanks.”
Fourth, wait patiently by your phone; one of us will come to you. You need to portray a sense of confidence, authority, and respect. If you would like to leave a voicemail message for an inmate, you must first have a Prepaid Account.
-This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
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