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Damn Daniel. Stop Calling My Girlfriend. Cat Facts. Donald Trump - Join My Cabinet. IRS Tax Extension. Obama Bailout. Stop Calling Me. You're Having a Baby. Stop Calling My Boyfriend. Pizza Order Confirmation. You're Having a Baby Boy.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.

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Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks.
Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day. .

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21. "Hello, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we'll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you're so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]"
15. Hello, you’ve called [X Business Name]. We are currently closed. Our opening hours are [State opening hours]. Please visit our company website at [company website URL], or email us at [X email address]. If you’d like a callback, please leave your name and phone number, and our team will get in touch with you within 24 hours.

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Hi! I told you never to call me at this number. But since you did, I left the knife on your back porch…Check to see I got all the blood off. Don’t forget to leave a message, and we’ll talk about the…plan.
Read the SMS.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.

7 best business voicemail greetings

Mick’s storyful messages are keeping customers happy even though their calls were not answered. So happy in fact, that those that hear the voicemail are sharing them with others and laughing along with the owner when he calls them back.

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Parodying any government or secret service agency is also a great way to create funny voicemail messages. For instance, you could say, "Thank you for calling the Slovakian Consulate. All our diplomats are out changing lightbulbs, so at the sound of the tone, please leave your details and any international secret you may have for sale." Creating funny voicemail messages that sound like they are from the mafia, the FBI, the CIA, or even the IRS can be a cool way to greet your callers when you are not available.

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    Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings.

    If you end up in a prolonged game of phone tag despite your best voice mail efforts, it may be best to schedule a face-to-face appointment or a planned phone conversation at a specific time for cases that require a real discussion about test results or treatment options. Veterinary practices Marketing About the Author Roxanne Hawn View Bio Related Content Animal Health 7 Email Marketing Strategies and When to Use Them Animal Health Can You Repeat That? Animal Health Stronger veterinary marketing in the age of online scrolling LinkedIn YouTube Facebook Instagram Twitter Copyright ©2021 AmerisourceBergen Corporation. All Rights Reserved. Business VoIPHosted PBXSIP TrunkingEnterprise VoIPCall Center SoftwareUnified CommunicationsWeb ConferencingTeam CollaborationResidential VoIP
    I call bullshit. Why does he start describing what the guy is wearing when he gets out of the car?

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    5. Voicemail Greetings For Vacation. As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.

    On Air Recordings recommends you order professional voicemail greetings through their site, then describe the tone, approach, or voice direction you’re going for.
    Have a positive attitude while recording your voicemail greeting — it will carry through in your voice. If you find it difficult to convey positivity over a phone system, try smiling while you’re recording. (We promise, you will hear a difference.)

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    I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to break the record for "the most calls missed" if it's a emergency or your dieing or something, please hold on till the record is broken, and I will call you back.

    There are some people who tend to judge your work according to your voicemail greeting. In this article, we tell you what are the best ways to draft your voicemail message.
    Bullwinkle Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Rocky: Again? Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! [Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.]

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    Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)

    7. The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end.
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35. Hello, we’re wishing you all a happy [X holiday]. Our office is currently closed so our employees can celebrate with their loved ones. Please leave your name, number, and reason for calling and a member of our team will return your call when we reopen on [X date].

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If you end up in a prolonged game of phone tag despite your best voice mail efforts, it may be best to schedule a face-to-face appointment or a planned phone conversation at a specific time for cases that require a real discussion about test results or treatment options. Veterinary practices Marketing About the Author Roxanne Hawn View Bio Related Content Animal Health 7 Email Marketing Strategies and When to Use Them Animal Health Can You Repeat That? Animal Health Stronger veterinary marketing in the age of online scrolling LinkedIn YouTube Facebook Instagram Twitter Copyright ©2021 AmerisourceBergen Corporation. All Rights Reserved. Business VoIPHosted PBXSIP TrunkingEnterprise VoIPCall Center SoftwareUnified CommunicationsWeb ConferencingTeam CollaborationResidential VoIP

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One episode of The Simpsons has Homer and Marge buying a book about trying to invoke this trope, and end up trying to record a message together while reading out of it. It sort of goes without saying, but it ends up being So Unfunny It's Funny.. A season 2 episode had Homer calling Barney for bail, and initially gets an answering machine message sung to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

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1.) A study by AT&T found that five out of every six phone calls go straight to voicemail. Since you’re always more likely than not to get someone’s voicemail, before calling, script out what you want to say. Maybe even practice it out loud once before you dial.

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