I’m out walking my donkey but as soon as I get my ass back in I’ll call you back. Leave me a message.
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No24: You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.
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You should script out your greetings, rehearse, and find a tone of voice that is reflective of your professionalism and your company’s personality. If applicable, your tone and your message should take into account that certain industries and companies are more conservative than others.
Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, ill try to squeeze you in.
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Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice: Hello, this is the executioner. Do you want your voicemail returned? Saying goodbye to a friend like you is like saying goodbye to my own soul — it is just not possible. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything.
If you’re out of the office, a voicemail greeting will essentially act as the first line of communication between you and clients or potential clients. So of course, this could be a great opportunity to add a hint of personality, while of course still remaining as professional as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with it!
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How have you been? We have to meet this weekend.There are two kinds of phone users in the world: people who leave voicemails for other people and people who ignore voicemails from other people. Just kidding. Y: You have reached the voice mail box of your name. No longer do we have to slog through dial menus or trudge through every single message to get to the next.
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Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)
Get professional voicemail greetings today! Lili is a professional voice talent based in Los Angeles with a deep warm voice that will make your business sound professional. Lili has been recording professional voicemails & messages on hold with a fast turnaround since 1997. Most recordings are …
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If you started your company more than a year ago, it’s probably time to change your voicemail script. Your recording should match the brand, tone, and voice of your company — just as though a caller were speaking to a member of your team.
Hi, this is [Name]. I’m not currently available at the moment, but I look forward to talking with you. Please leave your contact information, along with a short message, and I’ll make certain to return your call.
A long time back I found all the AT&T voice pieces in a set of .wav files. I made an answering machine message that said, "I'm sorry... the number you have dialed xxx-xxxx is no longer in service. You can reach your party at their new number, 911." Something to that affect. I don't think many people even got to my phone number before they hung up. I changed it shortly thereafter.
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But when the information on the other side of the line is clear, it really lets someone down.Now, since we're talking about voice mail, the standard greetings that are usually embedded in phone companies are so boring and mechanical.Again, "leave a message after the tone" or "you have reached 7 ".
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16Hey, could you come up with some cute voicemail greetings, I’m out. Can you just leave your suggestion, after the tone? This voicemail engages your caller, challenging them to come up with funny voicemail messages, while they wait to leave their messages after the tone.
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“Hi, this is [name]. I’m either on another call or am away from my desk. Please leave your name, contact details, number and your reason for reaching out and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling.”
No36: Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks. No37: I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you.
-You have reached the voice mailbox of (your name). If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are.
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As a business, you should always be looking for new and creative ways to get people talking about your business. Many companies, no matter what industry they are in, fail to take advantage of the simple, everyday opportunities they have to create a fun, remarkable and unforgettable experience for their customers. A funny voicemail greeting has the ability to meet all of those qualifications.
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Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____.
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“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
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Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.
Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.
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George is a little different considering he won’t have eager leads calling him about a remodeling project, however, there are certain lessons we can all take from his funny voicemail.
Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.
11. "Hi, you've reached [company]. Unfortunately, we're currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP."
No42: A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.
If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say.
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Creating funny voicemail messages that are fun for your callers to listen to can be quite entertaining for you too. Instead of leaving a standard, boring voicemail greeting in place, you can use a little creativity that makes callers chuckle or laugh out loud. An easy way to come up with ideas is to do a play on popular TV shows, parody a government agency, or give voice to a machine that has come to life and is expressing its unique personality. A private voicemail box enables a person to receive telephone messages when the phone cannot be answered.
"Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."
Website: https://digitalcitizen.ca/2010/01/03/some-lyrics-for-singing-voice-mail-messages/
I am from Ireland and its for a Multi national manager or executive. My attorney told me that form her experience it takes 4-6 weeks after approval of the I-140 as the visa numbers are current. Bit apprehensive to give the company as I dont see a need for anyone to know this info??? is it absolutely safe to travel with pending i 485 app with valid h1b stamping with receipt notice and completed fp.?we are kind of confuded whether to plan for the travel...We have not yet received the actual advance parole. i read somwhere that if u leave the country wth pending i 485 but without ap ur appl is considered abandoned.is this true.?..we have the option to change the trip to apr too.In a nutshell is it completely safe to travel on 485 pending appl without ap with valid stamping.?:confused: I wanted to start something good that i can work by my self and not cheating others. Brief History: I am working for a Food Processing company (A) in R&D. Company A was my sponsor for GC. I have been on EAD since Oct 2007 (filed 485 during July-Aug 2007 time period) :) . My I-140 was approved Jan 2007. My GC application was started in Apr 2006 - Perm process. Also, i still have my H1B(Extension) valid until Apr 2010. Company A uses a consulting firm for roughly about 25 - 35% of R&D projects. Reason to change: I believe this opportunity will have a significant change/growth to my career. Questions: :confused: Can i change my job to the consulting firm using EAD? What are the consequences i should expect from USCIS? Does the Consulting company have to get involved with any Immigration fillings? If i decide to work for the consulting firm, i will still be doing the same job for Company A but as a consultant + I will have additional projects with other Food Processing companies. I think labor application job description won't change (Company A to Consulting Firm) and this is where i struggle to understand the rules. Need your thoughts and Advice.
I am on H1 & my H1 (& visa stamping) expires in Apr 2009. My wife has H4 stamped on her passport until Apr 2009. My wife got her H1 approved in 2008 lottery with permit to start work starting October Ist, 2008. We are planning to take cruise to Bermuda from sep 28-oct 5. I just wanted to know , a) will her H4 stamping be expired on October 5, 2008 , as her H1 will become effective? c) or if someone knows whether she needs a valid visa stamping in accordance with her latest immigration status (h1 in this case on oct 5 , 2008) when returning to US in cruise.
No36: Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks. No37: I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you.
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“Can you hear me? Can you hear me? I don’t think if this thing works. I’m probably guarding my litter box right now so the dog doesn’t steal my deposits. This is important work, so I can’t distract myself with phone calls. I’ll catch up with you later. Is this even working? Leave a message and hopefully I’ll figure out how to retrieve it.”
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Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.
– Thank you for calling XYZ Company. We are currently unavailable to take your call. Our business hours are nine to five, Monday through Friday. If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to leave a message for, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 9 for a company directory, or hold on to leave a message for the operator. If this is an emergency, please enter 911 now to be connected with the after-hours support personnel.
Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. I've kidnapped him and am holding him ransom. There is plenty of room for being creative. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
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Hi, you’ve reached the home of [name]. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional.
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January 19, Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone calls anymore; send me a text.
Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further post thank you once again.
Good voicemail greetings should include your name and/or company, your reason for missing the call or an apology, and instructions for leaving a message. How to Turn Your Customer Complaints into Business Benefits 50% of Business Owners Over 50 Back Trump's National Emergency Declaration How Zoho Bookings Helps Your Business Grow Square Seller Fees Stay Consistent as PayPal, Venmo Raise Rates Sponsored by Square Use Emojis in your Business Communications? Than Check Out These! How Can Your Alma Mater Help Your Small Business? Annie Pilon is a Senior Staff Writer for Small Business Trends, covering entrepreneur profiles, interviews, feature stories, community news and in-depth, expert-based guides. When she’s not writing she can be found on her personal blog Wattlebird, and exploring all that her home state of Michigan has to offer. Small Business Trends is an award-winning online publication for small business owners, entrepreneurs and the people who interact with them. Our mission is to bring you "Small business success, delivered daily."
The above eight rules of engagement for voicemail greetings may sound easy enough, but they’ll require some practice to get just right. Let’s look at some examples to provide some context in how to apply the rules to various types of greetings and situations.
-Hello. All of our operators are busy right now, but if you’ll leave your name, telephone number, a brief message, and the time you called, we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you and have a pleasant day.
8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I can come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone now, recording this message, but I'm doing this now, while you're listening to it later, except for you I guess it's now, like, when you're listening to it ... now I'm confused ... leave a message and I'll explain later.
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I can't come to the phone now. So if, well, actually, I can come to the phone now. I mean, like, I'm at the phone now, recording this message, but I'm doing this now, while you're listening to it later. Except for you I guess it's now, like, when you're listening to it. I mean, like, wait.
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5. The Serious Greeting. I’m going into hibernation for a few months. For more updates, check my Facebook page. Hello, to reach the person you are calling, please say the password.
Hello, Mom. Good morning! But if you think about it as a day of fun and learning, you will have so much energy and enthusiasm to wing whatever this day will drop in on you. Seize the day! Take your sweet time. Make sure that your hair is freshly washed and fabulously blown out. Did you know that every minute, a person posts a motivational or inspiring quote that they do not live by? So, is it, Mom? Oh, good morning, by the way! Trust me, Mom. When I woke up this morning, I really had no plans of being drop dead gorgeous, insanely witty, and hopelessly charming.
Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn’t beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them.
Traditionally, businesses send out greeting cards or eGreeting cards during the holiday season. While this is a great approach, you shouldn't wait around for the winter holidays to tell let your clients know you're thinking of them! Keeping in touch with your clients throughout the year is a... 7 Elements of a Real Estate Professional's Voicemail Greeting May 17, 2012 Juli Durante real estate, script samples, greetings
