I’d like to think we were pioneers in our field, and with the advent of the cell phone now anyone can set up a witty voicemail, and the evidence points to the fact that many people love to amuse us with their funny voicemail greetings. So, below are a compilation of some of the funniest voicemails in the world compiled by an old hand at the game.
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If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touchtone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touchtone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system. 13. [Very fast] Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message
Don’t rush. It’s important to speak slowly and clearly when leaving your next voicemail greeting. Have you ever called someone and the message sounds like one big word? Don’t be that guy. Pronounce your words and take pauses between your sentences
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Funny Voicemail Greetings. Thank you for calling Santa's workshop. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list and maybe we'll get back to you!Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your
Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost your voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.
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First, I'd like to pay all your closing costs. When you sell your property. To me, this will save you thousands of dollars because normally when you sell your home, I'm just trying to speak to their subconscious mind, sell your property, sell your home, sell your house to me, sell your house to me. It's not overt to them, but I'm being intentional about not just saying that, but subtly emphasizing those embedded commands.
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.
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Your voicemail greeting can make a positive or negative impression on people. By considering your target audience and tone, you should be able to keep it positive. Length: Don’t make people wait minutes to leave a message. Apologies: If people expect your to be available, apologize for missing their call. Set expectations: Let people know when they may receive a callback, but be realistic. Accuracy: If you change your voicemail for things like holidays, be sure to update it when needed. How do You Set Up a Business Voicemail?
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Editor's note: This post was originally published in February 2018 and has been updated for comprehensiveness. Try This Effective Prospecting Voicemail Script [Tips Included] Sales | 12 min read Get it now Get it now Download for Later Popular Features Free Meeting Scheduler App Social Media Tools Email Tracking Software Sales Email Automation Ads Software Email Marketing Software Lead Management Software Pipeline Management Tools Sales Email Templates Help Desk Software Free Online Form Builder Free Chatbot Builder Free Live Chat Software Marketing Analytics Free Landing Page Builder Free Tools Website Grader Make My Persona Email Signature Generator Blog Ideas Generator Invoice Template Generator Marketing Plan Generator Free Business Templates Industry Benchmark Data Software Comparisons Library Company About Us Careers Management Team Board of Directors Investor Relations Blog Contact Us Customers Customer Support Join a Local User Group Partners All Partner Programs Solutions Partner Program App Partner Program HubSpot for Startups Affiliate Program Facebook Instagram Youtube Twitter Linkedin Medium Hello Select your address Account & Lists Returns & Orders Best Sellers Prime Customer Service New Releases Today's Deals Pharmacy Books Fashion Registry Toys & Games Kindle Books Gift Cards Amazon Home Sell Computers Automotive Coupons Home Improvement Shopper Toolkit Video Games Smart Home Find a Gift Beauty & Personal Care Health & Household Amazon Basics Pet Supplies TV & Video Handmade Baby Disability Customer Support Amazon Music Unlimited Amazon Music HD Amazon Music Prime Free Streaming Music Buy Music Open Web Player Settings Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements Your Amazon Music account is currently associated with a different marketplace. To enjoy Prime Music, go to Your Music Library and transfer your account to Amazon.com (US). After Hours You're Hosed 0:7 $0.99 After Hours You're out of Luck 0:11 $0.99 All Lines Busy Wait Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Answered It's Not Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Attention....Never Mind 0:6 $0.99 Attention....We Forgot 0:7 $0.99 Automated Answer If We Had More Money 0:8 $0.99 Baggage Search and Good Stuff Taken 0:9 $0.99 Biz Hours Whenever 0:5 $0.99 Call Back When You Know What You're Talking About 0:4 $0.99 Complaint Dept Hang Up 0:4 $0.99 Emergency Talking Faster 0:4 $0.99 Exit Stop Pushing and Shoving 0:4 $0.99 For Legal Evidence Call Will Be Recorded 0:7 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready or Get It Together 0:5 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready 0:4 $0.99 In Emergency Kiss Your Ass Goodbye 0:6 $0.99 Last One Please Turn out Lights 0:3 $0.99 Leave Tray Tables Down 0:7 $0.99 People Cutting in Line Thrown Out 0:4 $0.99 Pick up You Guns and Exit 0:3 $0.99 Please Keep Asking for Help 0:4 $0.99 Please Never Call Again 0:3 $0.99 Please Welcome a Real Loser 0:5 $0.99 Reached Number in Error Pay Attention.Wav 0:4 $0.99 Service Is Just a Word 0:6 $0.99 Someone May Be on the Line Shortly 0:7 $0.99 Sorry Lights on No One Home 0:4 $0.99 Speak With Someone Who Knows 0:5 $0.99 To Reach Compulsive Disorder Dept 0:4 $0.99 Un-Attended Bag....Take It 0:5 $0.99 Un-Attended Bags Taken and Put on Ebay 0:10 $0.99 Un-Attended Children Given Caffiene and Puppy 0:8 $0.99 Water Landing Seat Cushion 0:8 $0.99 We Will Get to Your Call When We Feel Like It 0:6 $0.99 You Will Never Be Connected to a Live Person 0:6 $0.99 Your Call Is Important Not 0:7 $0.99 Sold by Amazon.com Services LLC. Additional taxes may apply. By placing your order, you agree to our Terms of Use.
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10 Voicemail Greeting Scripts. Now that you know the principles of our voicemail greeting philosophy, it is time to take a closer look at some standard and best-practice examples you can use for your business. Not all of these example scripts serve the same purpose.
Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.
If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.
“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
As probably know, a professional voicemail greeting can make or break leaving a great impression. However, it all starts with your voicemail script.
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20 Clean and Funny Answering Machine Messages [Perfect One's] Answering Machine Messages are here to Give you the Clean, Funny and Joyfull Recorded Voicemail Greetings for Your Professional Business. If the person (answering machine messages for telemarketers) does not answer a call within the certain number of rings.
If you are family/friends, press 1. If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2. If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the …
6. Hello, this is [your name] at [your company]. I am unavailable at the moment, but please leave your name, number, and the reason you’re calling, and I’ll call you back as soon as possible.
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You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
Informal voicemail greetings are those that don’t adhere to the rules of professional and business voicemail greetings. Here, you are free to just leave a simple greeting, or use it to show your more witty side. This style of greetings can be used for both home and business if you like, depending on the type of caller you expect.
Man I just had a wreck right in front of me. This guy ran a red light and hit four old ladies in an Impala.
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Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
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This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
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Funny Voicemail Messages That’ll Tickle Your Callers’ Funny Bone. • Hi. This is John – If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.
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The first Salient Media talent to appear on YouMail is comedian Katt Williams. He has appeared on a variety of television shows and comedy specials, but is best known for his triple platinum selling DVD Pimp Chronicles pt. 1. Other comedians are soon to follow.
Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Morgan’s voice has been immortalized in dozens upon dozens of voiceover projects. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you.
we are happy to help you, submit this Form, if your solution is not covered in this article.
Weren’t these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on your machine. You don’t want to offend anyone or say something that might upset your listeners. So be absolutely sure. And, if you have any more voicemail ideas, do let us know by leaving a comment below. Till then, I’d like to… beep.
Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.
5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number]. Thank you!"
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Being the great guy that he is, the star humbly complied but added a fun and unexpected close to the recording. Please leave a message. Laugh as you watch how Mr. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers. Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary. Live long and prosper. Click here to listen to the Star Trek voicemail greeting on Youtube.
13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers
Here are a few sample voice mail greetings to get you started: Standard Voice Mail Greetings. Normal Greeting (Without pager notification) "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I …
Rates and Pricing About Us Download the Rate Price PDF Contact Us FREE Voicemail Greeting Scripts Free Voicemail Greeting Scripts Funny Voicemail Greetings Business Voicemail Greetings Mailbox Greetings On-Hold Messages Welcome Messages How do I create a custom voicemail greeting? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my Android phone? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my iPhone? What is a good business voicemail greeting? Blog Español
Good day, you have reached the office of [Name]. I’m away for the weekend. If you require my immediate assistance, please call 555-555-2345. Otherwise, if this is a casual call, please leave your name, number and a brief message, and I’ll get back to you on Monday.
It offers FREE voice mail greetings for the different people that call your cell phone. It's called youmail. This youmail service can replace your cellular voicemail with a supposedly better voice mail system that includes a set of cool and different features such as different personalized greetings for each caller, online and phonebased
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Wow – I just read what I typed and even I can't make sense of the prolix drivel. However, I'm in no shape to attempt anything better so give it the old college try and let me know what you make of it. I'm expecting an entertaining, yet informative response, but I would certainly understand a visit from a cpl of guys wearing white lab coats driving an unremarkable, windowless van :/
A good first impression goes a long way, and a voicemail greeting is the first impression to your business. An expertly crafted voicemail script lets your clients know you’re dependable, capable, and confident. An unprofessional voicemail script, on the other hand, can do the exact opposite.
That’s the simple structure of a voicemail greeting. Overall, your greeting should be professional, but the wording can vary depending on the situation. Check out a sample below.
When you’re closed for the holiday, it’s good to forgo your usual out-of-office greeting for a custom holiday message. Keep it cheery and brief, and be sure to let callers know when you’ll resume normal business operations.
These are very funny and interesting conversations. I did not know before an answering app or machine can answer so funny.
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Funny answering machine or voicemail messages to try. Posted by hotcrowd on August 6, 2009. Try a clever message for your phone. These are a hoot! Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
greetings examples of good voicemail greeting when i return your voice mail is currently closed for all. Every business aims for client satisfaction; however, busy schedules can often healthcare business professionals with air time must attend and every single client need. Sample Answering Machine Scripts Seven Best Voicemail Greetings for Your.
The History of the Answering Machine » bit.ly/39sgo7a 88 Creative Answering Machine Messages » bit.ly/3whSrZI 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages » bit.ly/3ub17iY
Realtors Wacky Answering Machine Messages Being in Real Estate we get an opportunity to shake our heads a lot. One of the joys of calling a client or returning a call is the chance to hear a bit of the following: • Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this.
Best Top 10 Answering Machine Messages. 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
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Also, during your script video, you stated that your postcard mentions that the seller's initial call will only be answered by an automated service, but on the “Here's one of Our Favorite Postcards” screenshot, the actual verbage is, “Call [this number] and I'll be happy to talk with you. If I'm out, please leave a message and I will call you shortly.” [no mention as to why you'd call anybody “shortly”, but that's prolly not the hill i wanna die on right now].
I've kidnapped him and am holding him ransom. There is plenty of room for being creative. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Be innocent and coy one time, and more in-your-face with the next voice note. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message!
8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.
Saying that your have available slots for Thursday can be tricky, and also requires more work on your end, as you will need to keep relentlessly updating your salon voicemail message to adapt it. However you should give the time when you are next open. Remember to give your web address if guiding your clients to book online.
Website: http://soundcommunication.holdcom.com/bid/83016/5-Examples-of-Funny-Voicemail-Greetings-why-you-should-avoid-them
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No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.
Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner.
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Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
Many times, salon voicemail messages only take away from your remarkable customer service and without the wanted result: drive clients in for an appointment. This is why we do not recommend getting into this habit, even if we are fully aware it sometimes seems like the only available option.
When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.
