Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:
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3. YouMail Robocall Blocker & Voicemail. YouMail is one amongst the great free visual voicemail app that acts as spammer and robocalls blocker to protect you from unwanted callers.
10. Nobody Misses The Clever Answering Machine Message. Connect Your Team All Under One Number, No Matter If They Are Working Down The Hall Or Across The Country.
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Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary.
Voice mail is only impersonal if you make it that way. One way to help increase the effectiveness of voice mail is to change your greeting at least weekly if not daily. Your greeting should let the caller know who they have reached, what is the persons status ( out of the office, in the office but in meetings etc), when the caller can expect to
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Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.
Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.
Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.
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If it works better for you, offer your callers the option to email you, or even send over a text to a VoIP texting app, or even your personal number if you don’t mind. Many people will prefer the ability to quickly text or email, and callers will appreciate the increased level of service.
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-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
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You may hold or leave a message at the beep. Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published.
Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn’t beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them.
Other jokes and witty lines can be recorded for your callers that may bewilder a silence after the tone, or you might get to hear laughs that started before the beep, or you might throw someone off into the old routine of “What?…Hello?…Are you–Is this?…Am I leaving a message?” But you want fresh ideas. You can borrow mine to entertain your callers. Let me know their reactions. This one sounds like you are a corporation that has several operators who are busy with a large volume of calls. Includes elevator muzak and sound effects. Welcome. Due to a large volume of calls, all of our operators are busy. Please hold for the next available operator. (Music) Our operators are still busy. Please stay on the line while your call is being transferred to the Voice recording database. (connection) Infomercial that sells your messages in a rushed and enthusiastic manner. Borrowed the “complicated payment” from Mitch Hedburg.
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Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone. 29. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. 30. Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message.
greetings examples of good voicemail greeting when i return your voice mail is currently closed for all. Every business aims for client satisfaction; however, busy schedules can often healthcare business professionals with air time must attend and every single client need. Sample Answering Machine Scripts Seven Best Voicemail Greetings for Your.
Not funny at all. More obnoxious then anything! I just hate those voice mails asking ME to call them back because they have “questions”. Got one yesterday… Bob, this is __________ I have a few questions, please call me at XXX_XXX_XXXX… and then when you call it’s a flipping company that knows NOTHING about what I do or even that they called me in the first place. Don’t know about you but I’m rather protective of my phone time. And yes, they could use a dose of Art & Sam’s seminar… Hey one in Phoenix in a couple weeks
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Your business depends on customer engagement, and voicemail messages are a large part of that engagement. A voicemail is nothing more than a digital recording system, where messages are stored for you to retrieve later. Voicemail allows you to be able to connect with customers while you are away or during your off-hours, where they can drop off a message while you are gone. A voicemail greeting, on the other hand, refers to the message that your callers hear upon answering the phone.
Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
While email and text support saw an increase in recent years, many customers, partners, and potential hires still prefer to call your company directly. When writing your voicemail script, include basic information such as a short greeting, your company name, an invitation to leave a short message, and the time frame in which the caller can expect a return call. If relevant, you may want to include your office hours, extensions for company departments, and the contact information for your office manager or HR department.
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Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. I’m either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if I’m really lucky, I’m out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!
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Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges.
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Has using headphones made you think about their working? To know how headphones work, read on.
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Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
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30. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently out of the office and will return on [X date]. If your call requires urgent attention, please call [Name] at [phone number] and they’ll be happy to assist you. If not, leave a message and I’ll return your call when I get back.
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
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We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and the reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone.
If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the end button.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser.
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Check out the following samples: One voicemail was recorded while the individual was smiling, the other was recorded when the speaker held a neutral facial expression. Can you hear the difference? Version 1: I am smiling during this recording. Can you tell?Version 2: I have a neutral expression during this recording. Makes a pretty big difference right?6. Keep it short
5. Hello. I’m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
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“Glad you called, but I just am not able to entertain you right now. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Don’t forget to leave your name and number, so I don’t get mixed up with different offers, and go to the wrong restaurant. Bye!”
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Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant’s attorney, Archie’s lawyer advises him that he has no case, as the other side’s witnesses are too strong. There’s an old legal precept, he informs Archie: “You can’t beat a station wagon full of nuns.”
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Hello! You’ve reached [Luke on the Customer Success Team at LinkedPhone]. Our office is currently closed but rest assured your call is very important to me. Please leave your name and number and let me know how I could be of service to you. I’ll return your call on the next business day. Thank you!
Now I lay me down to sleep; leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
2.) A gracious phone message is 30-45 seconds when talking to those we don’t know well. As George Washington said (yep, that George Washington), and I’m paraphrasing, “With men of business, be brief.” Be pleasant, and get right to the point. You’ll appear more confident and capable of handling the situation which merited the call.
Using your cell phone to record a voicemail message isn't always easy. Between remembering what to say and getting the right timing, it's tricky. But your phone does have a playback option, and it's easy to listen to and review your message. For some people, though, cutting off the end of a message is a funny way to trick people and catch them off guard. In most situations, callers won't know it's intentional and will think you're far less than tech savvy. Definitely not an impression I'd want to make.
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Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
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Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine.
Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine .
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Far Out Answering Machine Messages. "I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you." "I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills.
Here are some of the examples. ! Best Voicemail Greetings ! These voicemail greeting ideas will be your help to inform the callers that you are not available, you are doing something or you are out of the office. ! 1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I …
7. A Classic Hepburn Answering Greeting for Voicemails. Katharine Hepburn’s iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting.
We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.
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So, I added a, you, uh, your, uh, just a pause or maybe a little chuckle in here or there just to make it sound organic. So right off the top, if we've already spoken about your house and you just need to leave a message, press pound now and leave a message after the tone. So that obviously has a practical use because if sellers call back because that's the only number that they have, maybe the second or third time, I don't want to have to make them endure the entire message before they leave us a message. And that is actually how Vumber works.
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I love this script! Thank you for giving down to earth advice. I would love to work with it.
This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.
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– Sorry, I can’t be everywhere, and sitting by the phone ready to take your call, just isn’t going to happen. The best thing to do is to leave your message and not be offended that I wasn’t able to speak with you. Thanks.
Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message. Please leave a message after my kid stops awkward moment of silence owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!