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Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?

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For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.
3. Stammer-Filled Voicemail Greeting from Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him.

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8. Morgan Freeman Shares His Voice for Voicemail Greetings. Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty.
Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages – Phone Losers Of America. Our Pre Recorded Message Packages Are Available In All Common Audio Formats Mp3 Wave Alaw Ulaw 16Bit 18Bit. Download Voicemail Greetings For Free Browse Most Popular Greetings And Add A Greeting To Your Youmail Visual Voicemail.

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A custom phone greeting is a recording that plays automatically when a customer calls. They can be set to play right at the start as a professional welcome, as a voicemail greeting, or even as an away message when you can’t answer.

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How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this...YOW!!

  • best funny voicemail

    A phone call to your business is often the first encounter your customers and prospects have with your company. If no one is available to take the call, having the best professional voicemail greetings possible is important to leave a great first impression and to ensure that business opportunities don’t slip by.

    I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
    I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).

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    Many times, salon voicemail messages only take away from your remarkable customer service and without the wanted result: drive clients in for an appointment. This is why we do not recommend getting into this habit, even if we are fully aware it sometimes seems like the only available option.

    Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:
    Realtors Wacky Answering Machine Messages Being in Real Estate we get an opportunity to shake our heads a lot. One of the joys of calling a client or returning a call is the chance to hear a bit of the following: • Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

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    You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone."

    Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.
    Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.

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    You may also email us at [email]. If you would like one of our team members to call you back, please leave your full name, contact info and number after the beep. Good to hear from you!”

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    Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.

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Now I lay me down to sleep; leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

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You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly. What's the funniest/coolest/cleverest/favorite Answering Machine/Voicemail/Answerphone Messages you've heard, or even done yourself? In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did...

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OK, so I follow all the instructions that come with the machine.I pressed all the necessary buttons.So...now what?I...am...so...confused.Trouble you....Hi, you have arrived at the answering machine (name.He/she is not at the moment, but I am totally open to suggestions.

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So there ya go. Leave a comment below and you'll get to download my nifty, we-buy-houses voicemail script—easy peasy, macaroni-and-cheesy. And don’t forget to be awesome.

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