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2. “DUDE! I told you to bury the arms and throw the body in the ocean” This will surely make the person on the other end go bonkers for a second. If you want to play a prank with them, then use this phrase.

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Website: https://grasshopper.com/blog/perfect-voicemail-greetings-10-tips-for-recording-effective-and-professional-messages-plus-examples/
If you’re an entrepreneur or small business owner who’s debating the benefits of getting a voicemail greeting, keep reading! .

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– Hi, I will be studying at the University library till late. Cannot carry my phone inside. Will get back to you as soon as I can. So leave a message after the beep.
Home / Uncategorized / 15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas – Make Yours Like These

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Need your voicemail recording as soon as possible? Depending on the complexity of your job, you can receive your final audio files in as little as one day.
Cats don’t enjoy following anyone’s rules. They want everything on their own terms — total rebels. If they had their own phones and could speak like humans (stay with me), they’d definitely screen their calls, because they want to be the ones to decide when they chat with others. And no one would tell them what to say in their voicemail greetings, either. Guidelines are for suckers.

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33. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We’re currently closed to celebrate [X holiday], but we’ll be back on [X date]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message so our team can get back to you when we return.

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Now, towards the end, I want to be sure and set the expectation that I'm probably not going to be in a position to pay you full market value for your property and I explained why. However, I can pay a fair price based on the condition and the situation you have at hand.

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    You have reached the office of [Business Name]. All of our representatives are currently busy. However, if you choose to do so, you may leave a brief message, including your name, number, or email, and we’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling [Business Name].

    Voicemail Funny Greetings For Your Phone Ideas Cell Phones 2 Business Answering Machine Greetings Tips Messages Closed Funny Voicemails Witty Answer Phone Messages Mp3 Voicemail Funny Voicemail Messages 9 Images Greeting Ideas Good Random Numbers To Give People Or Call When Bored Free Funny
    "Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

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    Is there another postcard to which you were referring in the script video that DOES say that the seller will NOT talk to a real person at first? I'm just a little bit confused about the discrepancy there. But, like I said, I am battling pneumonia so i'm prolly not braining well today. Hard for me to know really.

    4. Humorous Voicemail Greetings. While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey.
    Many times, when we call our friends, family members, or any other places, all we get is the voicemail. But when that message on the other side of the line is plain, it can really put someone off. You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call just so they can listen to the greeting again.

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    “Hi, this is Craig. I waited here as long as I could for your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back with you soon. I know that each day you have a choice of many phone numbers and I appreciate you choosing mine. Have a great day.”

    Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home. The actor, Jason Alexander, recently customized this answering greeting for a big fan, Kat Dennings. Watch the full segment on Youtube here.
    If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

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    2. Voxist. Voxist is one of the great visual voicemail that allows users to manage voicemails conveniently and smoothly, anywhere they go, and also let them read transcribed voicemail messages.

    How have you been? We have to meet this weekend.There are two kinds of phone users in the world: people who leave voicemails for other people and people who ignore voicemails from other people. Just kidding. Y: You have reached the voice mail box of your name. No longer do we have to slog through dial menus or trudge through every single message to get to the next.
    My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

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Oh, one more thing;Where do you say you live?Hi.I need some money if this is my parents.If this is my friend, I will give you your money.If this is a hot girl, don't listen to what I said before.

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Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….

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