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If you’re busy and can’t get to the phone, make sure your answering machine or voice mail greets the guest with a professional message before the third ring (see the later section, “Relying on answering machines or voice-mail systems” for details). from Running a Bed and Breakfast For Dummies by Mary White Wiley, 2009

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4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded." Say this in a powerful booming tone, and then add on in your regular voice "I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you."
Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is. .

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2. What to Say in a Voicemail Message. When unable to answer the phone, a voicemail message can be important. Below are examples of what to say in a voicemail message.

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Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
This sequence of synthesised piano notes starts off with the notes (A#, F - one perfect fifth up, and D# ... knocking and throbing at a roomdoor - mp3 version knocking and throbing at a roomdoor - ogg version knocking and throbing at a roomdoor - waveform knocking and throbing at a roomdoor - spectrogram 55320.0

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As greeting messages should reflect your mood and your personality, they must be recorded with utmost care and with the right choice of words. Here are a few examples which you can make use of while recording your own greeting messages.

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    Get creative. Poke good-natured fun, or tease them with your dry or self-deprecating humor. Remember that the goal is to make them feel happy to start the day, and not the other way around!

    Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.
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    Don’t rush. It’s important to speak slowly and clearly when leaving your next voicemail greeting. Have you ever called someone and the message sounds like one big word? Don’t be that guy. Pronounce your words and take pauses between your sentences

    Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message.
    Hi, you’ve reached Customer Service. We are busy assisting other customers at the is time. Please leave a detailed message with your order number or customer ID, the reason for your call, and the best number to reach you. A Service Specialist will return your call as soon as possible.

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    Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message.

    This call is from a woman that is calling to ask us to go investigate a strange situation with her neighbor. Apparently her neighbor has attached a tiller to the family dog and is making the dog drag it around to rake leaves?
    38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.

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    9. The Skill Demonstrator. You may decide to demonstrate your skills through the voicemail message you leave your prospects. This works perfectly if you deal with selling your skills and expertise to your customers.

    You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
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Sources report that when a single caller finally listened to Fulton’s voicemail, they didn’t fall for it.

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Made famous by George Costanza as you can see the clip here, the answering machine song may seem like a good idea. It's out of the box, unexpected, and definitely a novelty, but unless you're in the music business, it's probably not a good idea. You'll definitely irritate your mother (or anyone else important who calls you frequently) and you won't make a good first impression with your message.

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5. Happy Holidays from GetVoIP! Sorry we couldn’t find one of the interns to answer your call, we’re all tied up trying to finish off this supply of Eggnog before the year ends. Feel free to check out our website, or even leave a message. We’ll be returning to the office after the New Year on January 2nd, and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.

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