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In this version, you pretend to realize how dumb it is to leave instructions WHILE you are leaving instructions. Hey everyone, listen to me having an epiphany, and then leave me a message.

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Dad left this on my voicemail today. Who is known to stay outside all day, all night, all week, all month, and all year? (sigh......, who, dad?) Patty O'Furniture. Bwah ha ha ha! (good one, dad.....)
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Top 13 Professional Voicemail Greetings ā€“ Examples, Scripts, Samples, Audio Recordings
Just cut it. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers. Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Funny Voicemail Message 4 Alright listen, I'm on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.

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You can add the flavor of fun and humor to your telephone calls through the use of funny voice mails and answering machine messages. You can devise some innovative voice mail ideas for your answering machine. Just make sure that you do not hurt the sentiments of your callers in any way.
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ā€œHi, this is Ralph. Youā€™re getting this message because Iā€™m probably sleeping. Leave your message at the tone and maybe Iā€™ll call you back when Iā€™m awake. If this is about anything food-related, please press 411 and your call will be rerouted to the dog, who will immediately wake me up to take your call. Do not use 411 because you want to tell me you lost a whisker or your human changed cat litter brands on you. I donā€™t care. Food only! And anyway, why arenā€™t YOU sleeping? Weirdo.ā€

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    Dave is out. Jane is out. Rover is out. This is their answering machine. I am in. The beep is in. At the sound of the beep leave your name. At the sound of the beep leave your message.

    I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.
    And here are some sample voicemail greeting scripts for doctors, lawyers, and dentists, in case you're not looking for business greetings. 1. Personal Business Voicemail Greeting. Your personal voicemail greeting should be brief and to the point. State your name and your availability, project a welcoming aura, and ask the caller for whatever

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    The next step is very important and you need to get it right. Say your phone number two times very slowly so the person has enough time to write down your number as they are listening to your message the first time.

    Of course, your phone rang because someone wanted to get in touch. They got your voicemail because you were busy or just not there. If you section off a block of your day to check voicemails, let the caller know so they can expect a time for you to return their call. People will leave more details if they know someone will check it later.
    Businesses should have two main types of greetings to create an excellent call experience. The first one is what we call a ā€œwelcome greetingā€ ā€“ this greeting welcomes callers to your business. Typically, a welcome greeting will present a menu of call options like hours, location, or customer service. For more details on how to create a welcome greeting for your general business number, read this article.

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    Listing Results Funny Voicemails Ideas 48 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service

    Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there!
    Yes, you can be charged. This depends on the service. For example, Spectrumā€™s Voice Residential Services Price Guide charges $3.95 for voicemail.

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    This script is very informative for motivated sellers. However, I do not have the years of experience you mentioned in the beginning. Still worth a try because I can tweak it.

    First you need to know how much time your phone system or provider allows for the duration of the greeting. Some are 30 sec some are longer. Then you need to have a few ideas of what you want to say, or ask your callers.
    Hi! Johnā€™s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and Iā€™ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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Due to popular demand, weā€™ve published even more funny voicemail greetings in another blog post. Want a simple voicemail system that does a whole lot more? Try Ninja Number free ā€“ no credit card required ā€“ for 7 days! Start Your Free Trial

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ā€œHello, this is Morgan Freeman. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. But if youā€™re lucky, I might just call yaā€™ back. Get busy leavinā€™ your message.ā€

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Last night, as I was getting ready to cook dinner, I received a mysterious phone call from a number I didn't recognize and I naturally let it go to voicemail. Surprisingly the mystery caller did leave a voice message and several minutes later I got this text. To eliminate all possibilities I proceeded to listen to the voicemail and ensure it was indeed someone important to me. It was both of my parents(they like to put me on speakerphone so they can talk to me simultaneously) informing me of my Dad's new cellular device.

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