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Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?
My voicemail prompts the caller to leave his or her name and number. My dad’s response on his most recent message: .

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2.) A gracious phone message is 30-45 seconds when talking to those we don’t know well. As George Washington said (yep, that George Washington), and I’m paraphrasing, “With men of business, be brief.” Be pleasant, and get right to the point. You’ll appear more confident and capable of handling the situation which merited the call.
-Hello. All of our operators are busy right now, but if you’ll leave your name, telephone number, a brief message, and the time you called, we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you and have a pleasant day.

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Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.

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Departments and teams are typically organized by function – customer service, tech support, sales, billing questions, etc. When a team is busy handling other calls, encourage your callers to leave a message and reassure them that you will get back to them within a reasonable time frame. It’s important that you actually follow through to avoid upsetting your callers.

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Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.

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    And my cousin, she's a real girly-girl and you can actually tell from her voice and all she says in her voicemail greeting is:

    Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world's first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.
    Please hang up, and check the number, and dial again, and your card number, and check the number again, and ask information operator for assistance for fifteen minutes, and deposit 40 cents.

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    AboutPressCopyrightContact usCreatorsAdvertiseDevelopersTermsPrivacyPolicy & SafetyHow YouTube worksTest new features Remember Me? FAQ Social Groups Calendar Photo Albums FAQ Social Groups Calendar Mark Forums Read Toyota 4Runner Forum - Largest 4Runner Forum > Toyota 4Runner Forum > Off Topic > Very very funny voicemail Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes 03-07-2005, 11:56 PM #1 Reply With Quote Satman View Public Profile Find More Posts by Satman 03-08-2005, 12:03 AM #2 Reply With Quote krosno3 View Public Profile Find More Posts by krosno3 03-23-2005, 10:00 AM #3 That was great!!!! Too bad he didn't have a video to go along with it.....Thanks for sharing..... Reply With Quote CruiseDuck View Public Profile Find More Posts by CruiseDuck 03-23-2005, 12:08 PM #4 Man...I'd love to have a beer with that guy...what a crackup....ROTFLOL:jester: Expat View Public Profile Find More Posts by Expat 03-23-2005, 04:47 PM #5 265/65R18 LT BFG All Terrains, ICON Stage 1, SpiderTraxx, WeatherTech Liners, Demello Hybrid Sliders Kenwood DNX-890HD. Boaz View Public Profile Find More Posts by Boaz 03-23-2005, 04:48 PM #6 Reply With Quote 5 : Excellent 4 : Good 3 : Average 2 : Bad 1 : Terrible Similar Threads Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post Funny story fightman80 3rd gen T4Rs 22 10-11-2010 01:28 PM doyouknowwhatihate.com - funny stories bobbyavidity Off Topic 2 08-17-2009 12:23 AM Funny Toyota truck commercials Sidney Classic T4Rs 3 02-01-2008 02:24 AM Funny Old Lady! Thai Off Topic 1 03-09-2006 01:29 AM » Popular Tags 3rd 4runner 4th 5th area back bar battery black brake bumper car control cover door engine find fluid front gen good iphone issue i�m kit lift light lights limited miles mount oem oil part parts plate power pro rack rear replaced road roof running rust sale set shocks side skid springs sr5 start steering stock suspension switch system time tire tires toyota trail trd truck vehicle wheel wheels work wtb » Follow Us!!! Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.

    Answer Save. Funny Voicemail Messages. Funny Voicemails To Leave. This Site Might Help You. How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer. Susan Lv 4. You can't have a funny PG voicemail. For it to be funny, it at least has to be PG Choose a Comedy Call below: 4th of July Call. Coronavirus Rhapsody by Queen. My Corona. Hello from the Inside. Star Wars by Moosebutter. Rick and Morty Rolled.
    15. "This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it's really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day."

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    Website: https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/professional-voicemail-greeting

    It was also when I didn’t have to worry about getting “professionals” calling me. If you might have to worry about that, I highly recommend you don’t use these and just enjoy them. The singing messages are about 30 seconds long to sing, which is long for a voice mail, but that’s these lyrics’ “price” of fun.
    3. Call your voicemail system. Call your voicemail account by typing in its phone number with the keys on the dial pad, and then pressing the green Call button.

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    Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.

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    5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.

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Holy crap! I just found the recording of a fraternity brother's voicemail from college! I'll post EDIT: Right now... "Our new years resolution was to stay home more and answer our phone, but I guess we're not doing that. Leave a message after the beep " Choppy Prerecorded man's voice "Hello, Please leave a message after the tone " (verizon lady voice)- "Hello - 'Erik' (my voice) - is currently not available. Please leave a message after the tone. To leave a callback number press 5. " Sep 13, 2003 3,303 32 Its not so much where you are as when you are. I did that one once. Pissed the hell out of the telemarketers. See they have an autodialer which listens for the first bit of the phone call. If its something a person says then it hands the call to a person. For a while I also started answering the phone like an answering machine and got all sorts of people just hanging up on me. "Our new years resolution was to stay home more and answer our phone, but I guess we're not doing that. Leave a message after the beep " "Hello?......Hello?....I'm sorry, can you speak up please, I can barely here you....What's that?...I'm sorry, we're not home right now, please leave a message and we'll get back to you soon...." I like the "Hello? ", caught a few people talking to the answering machine with that one. "Hi mom, hi dad.. is not here." etc., etc.

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5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I’ll return your call after the holidays.

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As the odds of receiving a call back from your voicemail message are already low, you need to be very specific about what you say in your voicemail to give you the greatest chance of getting a call back. What you absolutely do NOT want to do is make yourself sound like a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, you want to sound like a very confident business colleague who deserves the respect of getting a call back.

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03Hello, this is [your name] of [your company/business]. I’m not able to take your call at the moment. Please leave your details and a quick message and I will get back to you at the earliest time possible. Thanks in advance. This voicemail greeting for work lets your customers or colleagues know that you are busy attending to other matters. It also reassures them that you’ll get back to them when you receive their message.

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