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“Believe it or not, George isn't at home, please leave a message at the beep. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home.” Click here to watch and listen to George’s hilarious voicemail sample.

simple personal voicemail greeting examples

"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
Hi. You have reached [Business Name]. Our offices are currently closed for the holiday season. We shall return on January 2, 2020, working office hours from 9 am to 5 pm, Monday thru Friday, closed Saturday and Sunday. Until then, please leave a short message and number, or email address, and we’ll get back to you shortly. Thank you for calling. .

best voicemail scripts for business

Mark Christiansen has been the trusted voice of many Fortune 500 Companies, and thousands of small businesses for voicemail.
Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?

personal voicemail greeting script

You may think your voicemail message is professional. But when you listen back it could sound rushed or shaky. Listen to it regularly to see if changes are needed.
Customize Your Voicemail! Customizing your outbound voicemail greeting for different callers is just the tip of the iceberg! Sign up today for FREE! Enhanced visual voicemail. Call blocking. Voicemail sharing. Voicemail to email. Voicemail to text.

personal voicemail greeting funny

By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. * Westworld Theme Song Stranger Things Theme Song Narcos Ringtone Wonder Woman Ringtone Avengers Infinity War Ringtone Peaky Blinders Ringtone Jumanji Drums Ringtone Thor Ragnarok Ringtone Animal Ringtones (100) Christian Ringtones (97) Funny Ringtones (371) Message Tones (286) Movie Ringtones (463) Music Ringtones (3,145) Classical Music Ringtones (130) Country Music Ringtones (37) Instrumental Ringtones (1,710) Rock Ringtones (118) Theme Songs (956) National Anthem (68) Old Phone Ringtones (96) Scary Ringtones (130) SFX (279) Siren Sounds (80) Star Wars Ringtones (68) Video Game Ringtones (222) Download from Firefox on Desktop computer: right-click the link to the Download MP3 > Save Link As... to download the file before loading it. Harry Potter Ringtone Bottle Opener Ringtone Android La Casa De Papel Theme Song Omg Flute Ringtone The Good The Bad And The Ugly Ringtone Hero Ringtone iPhone Ding Sound Imperial March Ringtone

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funny voicemail about chinese vaccine

Caller ID also played a role in the decline of calls answered by making it easier to know which calls to reject.

  • 7 best business voicemail greetings

    We love to hear your comments about this post. Please leave a comment below, and let me know what you think!

    Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
    20. "Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I'm out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker's name] at [email address]. They can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you."

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    4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

    I call bullshit. Why does he start describing what the guy is wearing when he gets out of the car?
    Wondering what to say in your business voicemail greetings? Read on to learn how to record a good voicemail that is professional (or funny) to encourage callers to leave a message.

  • funny but professional voicemail greetings

    This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now.

    Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/2019/03/funny-answering-machine-greetings-mp3.html
    5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

  • funny voicemail greetings script

    My friend found a recording of a man rifling off purposely confusing voice mail instructions. It's really fast, and he keeps saying numbers and number combinations... I wish I had it....

    Katharine Hepburn’s iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting. Click here to hear how Hepburn brings these words to life.
    6. I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.

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what are some funny voicemail greetings

Funny Voicemail Greetings. You can be able to express how you feel about your friend leaving by sending quotes. I'm trying to annoy my bff in a funny way my leaving her a bunch of voicemails.There are two kinds of phone users in the world: people who leave voicemails for other people and people who ignore voicemails from other people. Just kidding. Y: You have reached the voice mail box of your name. No longer do we have to slog through dial menus or trudge through every single message to get to the next.

funny voicemail after vaccine

I am on H1 & my H1 (& visa stamping) expires in Apr 2009. My wife has H4 stamped on her passport until Apr 2009. My wife got her H1 approved in 2008 lottery with permit to start work starting October Ist, 2008. We are planning to take cruise to Bermuda from sep 28-oct 5. I just wanted to know , a) will her H4 stamping be expired on October 5, 2008 , as her H1 will become effective? c) or if someone knows whether she needs a valid visa stamping in accordance with her latest immigration status (h1 in this case on oct 5 , 2008) when returning to US in cruise.

funny greetings for valentines day

If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number, I'd appreciate it.

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These skills help you stay on point with a focus on graciousness and the gold standard of living out the Golden Rule. They’re simple, savvy, and sincere. Plus, they’ll have people eager to hear and return your phone calls!

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