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This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

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6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you.
“Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date]. Please leave a brief message with your contact information, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return on [date]. If this is an emergency or you need to speak with someone before I return, please contact [name of colleague/supervisor], [their job title], at [their phone number].” .

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Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.
24. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. Every call is important to us, so please leave a brief message that includes your name and phone number so a member of our customer success team can call you back as quickly as possible.

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The lovey-dovey stars each debuted new dos on Wednesday. Justin Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez have both been sporting new hairstyles th...
Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy.

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When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.

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  • funny professional voicemail greetings

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    3. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
    Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone.

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    LEVEL 6, BRILLIANT SOLITAIRE, SCHEME No 78 PART 2, VIJAYNAGAR, INDORE (M.P.) – 452010 IN P: +91 731 6725516 | M: [email protected]
    "Hi, this is Steve. There's nobody here, and even if there was we wouldn't answer the phone. And even if we did, we wouldn't say anything. Maybe you shouldn't have called."

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    Hi! I told you never to call me at this number. But since you did, I left the knife on your back porch…Check to see I got all the blood off. Don’t forget to leave a message, and we’ll talk about the…plan.

    4. Liam Neeson Threatens and Delights Your Callers. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
    10. Introduce Yourself Like a Hollywood Blockbuster. If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you.

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    Customize Your Voicemail! Customizing your outbound voicemail greeting for different callers is just the tip of the iceberg! Sign up today for FREE! Enhanced visual voicemail. Call blocking. Voicemail sharing. Voicemail to email. Voicemail to text.

    Dave is out. Jane is out. Rover is out. This is their answering machine. I am in. The beep is in. At the sound of the beep leave your name. At the sound of the beep leave your message.
    Aside from the fact that we can't substantiate a bit of this, of course, the one thing that seems fishy to me is that he's able to not only pick out that she hit him with a Bible (which, depending on his vantage point, I guess he could see - or at least think he sees), but he's able to say which version of the Bible it is. That's awfully odd to me.

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This free voicemail audio clip is to help with verbiage or as using for your own voicemail response. Looking for a voicemail greeting to use instead of your

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Last night, my mother told me to check my email, and I knew from the poorly disguised grin that I had another gimmicky “greeting card” waiting for me. The cards tackle the human psyche as if we are creatures of binary emotional existence: vulgar humor or molasses-sweet. Read More Podcast: How do eGreeting Cards Increase Customer Engagement? November 11, 2014 Andy Begnoche' customer experience, podcast, greetings

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