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Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... Don't even think about it! Don't!
We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you’ll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny … .

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Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine.
Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone.

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1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."
Home / Uncategorized / 15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas – Make Yours Like These

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Keep in mind that to enjoy the full benefits of your professional greeting system, you must routinely check and delete messages. If your voicemail fills up, you won’t be able to receive new messages, meaning your customers will become frustrated.

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    Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut. Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut… After the beep. One of Mr.

    Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
    This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

  • funny voicemail greetings examples

    If you're looking to go all out to give the best possible first impression to your customers, hire a professional voice actor. Our customers love the voices available on Fiverr, a website that matches businesses with creative talent. You can get a professional recording done for as little as $5. If you're looking for a high-end product, check out The Voice Realm which offers the best voice talent on the planet. The quality is astounding.

    Click on the name of the website to access the page dedicated to entertaining voicemail messages.
    Oh, one more thing;Where do you say you live?Hi.I need some money if this is my parents.If this is my friend, I will give you your money.If this is a hot girl, don't listen to what I said before.

  • best business voicemail greetings

    Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

    16Hey, could you come up with some cute voicemail greetings, I’m out. Can you just leave your suggestion, after the tone? This voicemail engages your caller, challenging them to come up with funny voicemail messages, while they wait to leave their messages after the tone.
    Friends and colleagues speak to each using first names only. So do people of authority. They do not call each other and leave voicemail messages asking for Mister, Miss, or Mrs. Therefore, when you call a person you want to do business with and you leave a voicemail message, refer to them by their first name only. Don't say mister, miss, or misses. Don't say their last name. Begin your voicemail message by saying only "hi/hello" followed by the person's first name. Or, you can even forget the "hi/hello" and just say the person's first name. That is how you show confidence and authority and separate yourself from weak salespeople.

  • fun business voicemail greetings

    I’m home right now . . . I’m just screening my calls. So just start talking and if you’re someone I want to speak to I’ll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

    Voicemail Normal. Saw Leave A Voicemai. Japan Girl Voicemail. Greetings. Mig phone greeting. Funny Vmail Greet. Elmer Fudd Greeting. Silence Of The Lambs. Leave Your Message.
    If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you. Imagine all of your callers being greeted as if they were watching a trailer for the next blockbuster hit.

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Need your voicemail recording as soon as possible? Depending on the complexity of your job, you can receive your final audio files in as little as one day.

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Keep it Brief. Time is money in business, so if your voicemail is long, chances are the caller will simply disengage before the cue to leave a message even sounds. Keep your voicemail short. The most should be around 30 seconds, and even that’s pressing it. We’ve grown into a country where our attention span can last only about 10 seconds in some cases, so keep it short, brief and to the point. Persuade and Engage the Caller. If someone calls your business, they already have an intention. It’s the quality of your voicemail that plays a factor if they consider you a company they’d like to deal with. This is your chance to motivate someone to engage in a meaningful conversation with you. If your voicemail is shoddy, chances are they’ll hang up, or lose motivation to continue the call. In other words, your voice mail must engage and entice someone to the point that they care enough to leave you a message.

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Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.

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Here are a few voicemail message examples you can record if you have the opportunity to leave a professional sounding message, while still having a bit of fun. Before choosing one of these options, be sure your company allows for a little creativity. If you work in a strict professional position, theses options might not be the best for you.

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