We have added expanded forums for the new strategy games Humankind and Old World. Civilization's 30th Birthday Contest: Give Civ a Present, Get One Back! New Forums for Humankind and Old World 100 Of The Funniest Thing To Put On Your Answering Machine Theard Page 1 of 9 1 ← 2 3 4 5 6 → 9 Next > Joined: Apr 12, 2003 Messages: 45 Location: at my house Lets try to put 100 of the funniest thigs you can put on your answering machine. I can't think of any thing so somebody else start off, and links to web sites are ok. Chain n' Axe, May 22, 2003 Joined: Apr 10, 2003 Messages: 359 Location: Here " OH MY GOD PUT THE GUN DOWN! PLEASE PUT IT DOWN! BOOM!!!" *beep*
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7.) End on a high note! You don’t necessarily need to say “Goodbye” at the end of a voicemail, because you didn’t really talk to anyone. Instead, try something like, “Look forward to chatting with you!” Use the word “with” instead of “to.” It sounds less like the person is going to receive a parental or boss “talking to” and more like two people who are eager to connect with one another on the phone. It’s a subtle difference, yet it’s a gracious one!
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good funny voicemail greetings
Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. 😀
Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions.
7 best business voicemail greetings
11. "Hi, you've reached [company]. Unfortunately, we're currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP."
A clever, witty voicemail message can be short or long, complex or simple, as long as it is entertaining. Using famous lines from TV shows or movies is a great place to start. There is a lot of creative wordplay that you can use based on famous lines from classics like The Twilight Zone. For instance, you could say, "Hello, you've reached the Twilight Phone, where every message is sent into another dimension. To receive an interdimensional call, just leave your name and number, and I'll call you from the closest parallel universe."
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4. Waiting Message. What callers hear when they enter the waiting queue. Sample Scripts: “All of our agents are currently busy. Please hold and we will answer your call as soon as possible.”
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“Is it displacing phone calls? Not to any significant degree. I was just in a practice yesterday that has 30 incoming phone lines and cannot keep up with the call volume with four receptionists on at all times.”
The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages – Pure-Essence.Net
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Our funny voice mail greetings are uploadable to any voicemail system or answering machine you can call into to change your greeting, so you can have a funny voice greeting on your cell phone or home phone! (Click Here to Learn How) All voice greetings are delivered at the time of purchase in a .zip file containing a .wav file, an .mp3 file
Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages I've put in for you guys. Download: Click on icon next to each track or the 'FULL BOARD' button to add to your cart Per Track: $0.99 or FULL BOARD $4.99 Recipient Mobile. Message. Send Close . Build.
– Hi, this is (name). I’m sorry I cannot take your call right now. Please leave a detailed message after the tone along with your name and telephone number. I will give you a call as soon as I return. Thank you.
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When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.
Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...
This spam showcases around voicemail phishing Vishingwhich is a type of scam done through Voicemails. I want to be your best friend until I am too old to remember. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. If your one of your name 's friends, you may also leave a message at the They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail. Fourth, wait patiently by your phone; one of us will come to you.
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I enjoyed reading your article :) PLease continue publishing helpful topics like this. Regards, from Let's get gadget, a company whose into selling
Keep in mind that to enjoy the full benefits of your professional greeting system, you must routinely check and delete messages. If your voicemail fills up, you won’t be able to receive new messages, meaning your customers will become frustrated.
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So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me?
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A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a …
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A professional voicemail greeting is essential in many aspects of a business. In sales, it enables you to properly respond to inquiries from prospects and customers or discuss a deal in more detail. When they call, and you can’t answer, you may lose the opportunity for immediate communication and potentially lose a client or customer.
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5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
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6. Vacation Voicemail Greetings. Hey, this is [your name] at [X company]. I am actually on a break at the moment, on the other side of the world! Please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [X email address].
Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.
"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
Expect to spend $100-$400 for a voiceover session. (For a lower price point, look at Fiverr, but if you have more room in your budget, check out a voice acting agency.) The average professional studio session from start to finish will take approximately two hours, depending on how many scripts you have to record and how prepared you are.
Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Morgan’s voice has been immortalized in dozens upon dozens of voiceover projects. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you.
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Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word. Get in touch with us and we'll talk However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Thanks for calling. They go on and on, wasting your time. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….
24. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. Every call is important to us, so please leave a brief message that includes your name and phone number so a member of our customer success team can call you back as quickly as possible.
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A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good ideauntil you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't want them irritated by your voicemail message.Here are 5 examples of funny phone greetings, and why
To increase the chances veterinary clients will take your calls or listen to any voice mail messages you do leave, consider these strategies:
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For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to
I don't actually have an answering machine or voicemail or whatever, but I would have had this one: Hallo?
I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.
Who is this?! How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail. A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century.
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Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy.
We know that the only way to live a blessed and happy life is to live out the Golden Rule. And we know that manners (from the Latin word for hand…how to handle something) give us mutually agreed upon best practices for putting the Golden Rule into practice in our everyday encounters. They also help us know what to expect from one another and set gracious boundaries.
2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project.
The greeting that you leave on your phone in the form of a voice mail can be very important as it is the first contact that anyone calling has with you or the company that you work for. Therefore it is important that your voicemail greeting is drafted in such a manner that it does not make the caller squirm in embarrassment, or even raise their eyebrows in sheer wonder. Proper voicemail etiquette demands that a good voicemail message convey information like whom the caller is calling, where they are, when the caller can expect to be called back, and what to do if the call that is being made is of an urgent nature.
Being personable is key in having your caller look forward to receiving your callback. To do this, use different intonations in your voice to convey enthusiasm.
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That is the funniest voice mail I’ve ever heard. If that is a real voice mail I would say that rep needs some serious training. I work for a direct seed company and all of our work is over the telephone. Here is a sample of a voice mail that I might leave: “This is Mike with XXXX Seed. I’m calling for a couple of reasons: First of all I wanted to say thanks for your business and support. Also, I wanted to find out how your planting season is going and provide some information that could be valuable to your farm. When you get this message, please call me back at XXXX. Thank you!
– Thank you for calling XYZ Company. We are currently unavailable to take your call. Our business hours are nine to five, Monday through Friday. If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to leave a message for, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 9 for a company directory, or hold on to leave a message for the operator. If this is an emergency, please enter 911 now to be connected with the after-hours support personnel.
You’ve reached ARC Construction, leaders in home remodeling and construction services. We are pleased to announce that we were recently named ‘Best Local Contractor’ by the Phoenix Herald, and we finished another year ‘Complaint Free’ from the Better Business Bureau! It’s just the kind of service you’d expect from your hometown professionals. We are sorry we are unable to take your call at this time, please leave a message, and we will get back to you as promptly as possible.
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There are plenty of options for business voicemail messages, including professional greetings, casual messages, and even funny ones. Consider your brand voice and target audience to choose the tone. And include directions for those who call.
Elements of a Good Business Voicemail Greeting. Typically, a good business voicemail greeting should comprise the following elements: A warm greeting. Your name, the name of your company and department name. Make an apology for being unable to take the call. Ask the caller to leave a message. Let the caller know when to expect a return call. Free Funny Voicemail Greetings Recordings Home Free Funny Voicemail Greetings Recordings
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When you leave a voicemail do not use your full name because that immediately raises a red flat that you are a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, say your first name only followed by your company name. This will make your customer feel that you are much more familiar with each other than you really are. Saying your last name would defeat the whole purpose of demonstrating familiarity.
1. The Lever. A lever is a bit of information that shows you know what you’re talking about and how to leave a message in a way that convinces them this isn’t a cold call.
hello. This is (your name). I can get to the phone right now i just dont want to.
Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).
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