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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just This is not an answering machine.

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Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back—only that I won't. .

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06Hi, you’ve reached the offices of [your company/name]. I will be out of the office between [dates] and [date]. You can reach me on my private cell [your number] if this is an emergency. Alternatively, you can call me when I get back to the office or leave a brief message.
About the AuthorLenny Zeltser develops products and programs that use security to achieve business results. He is the CISO at Axonius and Faculty Fellow at SANS Institute. Lenny has been leading efforts to establish resilient security practices and solve hard security problems for over two decades. A respected author and practitioner, he has been advancing tradecraft and contributing to the community. His insights build upon real-world experience, a Computer Science degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and an MBA degree from MIT Sloan.

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Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine.

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Avoid These 3 Voicemail Mishaps When Job SearchingAvoid these scenarios with your voicemail during your job search.

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Being personable is key in having your caller look forward to receiving your callback. To do this, use different intonations in your voice to convey enthusiasm.

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    Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! I'm not available right now, but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

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    It starts off pretty normal until Jimmy witnesses said car accident while speaking:

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    “To answer your question, yes, I do see practices that accept texting, email and even chat messages through their websites from clients,” says Brenda Tassava, CVPM, CVJ, a veterinary business consultant.

    It’s imperative for any business owner and/or entrepreneur to have a professional, snappy and appropriate voicemail greeting for their business. Automated greetings will only help current customers stay in touch with you and you will create a great first impression on potential clients.
    Description: Funny Answering Machine Messages. Free ringtones download to cell phone for free. High quality ringtones. Set ringtone as phone call. Free Ring Tones. Quality: MP3 128 Kbps, 16 bit / 44.100 khz Duration: 00:21 sec Audio Size: 345 Kb Licence: The sound is licensed under “private use only” theme songs | music ringtones | message tones | movie ringtones | old phone ringtones | instrumental ringtones | sfx | funny ringtones | star wars ringtones | scary ringtones Next story Salut d’amour Ringtone Previous story Prison Break Theme Song You may also like...

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    It's 2013. Do we still need to talk about voicemail messages on cell phones? When was the last time you checked your inbox? When was the last time you left a message?? 7 Audio eGreeting Cards You Can Send Year-Round July 24, 2012 Juli Durante customer experience, branding, greetings

    A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
    No31: I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person.

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    Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

    So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.
    As I was about to get into advising you on the best practices of voicemail recordings and greetings, here’s what was blasting in my ears: “I can’t keep on losing you / Over complications / Gone too soon / Wait, we was just hangin’”… I’ll let you make the parallel.

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No22: Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

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>Check out these great Christmas voice mail message ideas from the folks at Smart on Hold

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8. Morgan Freeman Shares His Voice for Voicemail Greetings. Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty.

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