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Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

having a funny voicemail message is a good idea because it shows the employer your sense of humor

Hello? Hello? Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you. That's because I'm not home. Leave a message.
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When leaving your voicemail and phone number, do not say, "Please call me back at ..." Nothing sounds more like a salesperson making a cold call then saying, "please call me back at...".

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I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is in working order. If you were expecting an error, please hang up and try another number.
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“I don’t know who you are but if you don’t let my daughter go now, I will find you; I will kill you. Please leave a message.”

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    This guy is looking to get rid of his "blackish white groundhog guinea pig" and wants us to come pick it up.

    Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
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    -Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this stupid machine. Readers also Love to Read:100+ Affirmations for Long Distance Relationship 59+ Best Goodbye Messages to Colleagues 101+ Catchy Goodbye Slogans and Quotes 48+ Best Wedding Puns and Funny Quotes “Learn to Stress Less” 68+ Inspiring Quotes

    No28: Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me? No29: We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.
    Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

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    12. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m away from my phone at the moment, but leave a message after the tone so I can get back in touch later today.

    “Believe it or not, George isn't at home, please leave a message at the beep. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home.” Click here to watch and listen to George’s hilarious voicemail sample.
    When leaving your voicemail and phone number, do not say, "Please call me back at ..." Nothing sounds more like a salesperson making a cold call then saying, "please call me back at...".

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    The above eight rules of engagement for voicemail greetings may sound easy enough, but they’ll require some practice to get just right. Let’s look at some examples to provide some context in how to apply the rules to various types of greetings and situations.

    Custom voicemail greetings are essential. If you don’t have one, it makes your business look unprofessional and a little robotic. Be sure to include something that people will want to hear when they’re calling your business. Inspirational voicemail greetings mean a lot ot your callers, it lets them know you care. When it comes to business, voicemail is the most important form of communication.
    -Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

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is happy passover a proper greeting

1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."

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A long time back I found all the AT&T voice pieces in a set of .wav files. I made an answering machine message that said, "I'm sorry... the number you have dialed xxx-xxxx is no longer in service. You can reach your party at their new number, 911." Something to that affect. I don't think many people even got to my phone number before they hung up. I changed it shortly thereafter.

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