Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages – Phone Losers Of America. Our Pre Recorded Message Packages Are Available In All Common Audio Formats Mp3 Wave Alaw Ulaw 16Bit 18Bit. Download Voicemail Greetings For Free Browse Most Popular Greetings And Add A Greeting To Your Youmail Visual Voicemail.
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By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute.
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You are here: Home / Daily Life & Must-Knows / Calling, Texting, & More / How to Leave a Voice Mail Message Everyone Enjoys Hearing
Hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007. If you get this machine I am probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
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Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.
Due to popular demand, we’ve published even more funny voicemail greetings in another blog post. Want a simple voicemail system that does a whole lot more? Try Ninja Number free – no credit card required – for 7 days! Start Your Free Trial
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“Congratulations! You’ve reached the right person! It’s [your name]. Unfortunately, you’ve called at the wrong time. Please leave a message with all your contact information, and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.”
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4. Sincere and Short Voicemail Messages for Personal Use. These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones.
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Please make a note of it. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around. OK, what would you like me to tell me? This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message.
Hi, thanks for calling the residence of the Jennings Family. As you can tell, no one’s home to answer your call, but just leave your name, number and message and we’ll get back as soon as we can. Thanks
Don’t leave customers and colleagues on edge. If you say you’re going to call them back, follow up. If you tend to fall behind in this area, encourage them to email you or reach out in another way. Better yet, learn how to forward voicemail to email so you can access the message anywhere.
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46. Hello, you’ve reached [name], [job title] at [company]. I’m currently away from my desk or on another call. Please leave a detailed message so I can return your call as soon as I get back.
If you started your company more than a year ago, it’s probably time to change your voicemail script. Your recording should match the brand, tone, and voice of your company — just as though a caller were speaking to a member of your team.
"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
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41. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. Leave a message so we can call you back as soon as our team has a spare moment.
The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages – Pure-Essence.Net
Hello, this is John’s answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks.
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Hello, you have reached the _______'s residence; we cannot reach the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. (Then you find something that makes a beeping sound, and make the beep sound, then wait 5 seconds, until they start talking, then make another beep, and do that over and over.)
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Con un buen mensaje de correo de voz que les permite a las personas saber quién es usted y qué deben hacer para comunicarse con
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Please hang up, and check the number, and dial again, and your card number, and check the number again, and ask information operator for assistance for fifteen minutes, and deposit 40 cents.
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Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message. Please leave a message after my kid stops awkward moment of silence owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!
Our Favorite Funny Voicemail Greetings . 1. Elvis Presley Rocks Your Voicemail. Elvis appeared in 31 films, performed in 1,156 U.S. concerts and has sold more than a billion albums since the 1950’s. Why not bring his iconic voice to your personal voicemail to entertain your callers? Elvis Presley Voicemail Recording. To the tune of "Jailhouse
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Good day. You’ve reached the residence of the O’Meara family on 5th and Oak. We regret not being able to attend to your call. However, if you choose to, you may leave your contact information at the tone, and we shall be most happy to return your call as soon as we are able. Thank you for your call. Include the name of the individual, family or business State you are sorry you cannot get to the phone Ask them to leave their contact information behind Thank them for their call Informal Voicemail Greetings
Creativity In Phone On Hold Messages “There are pros and cons,” explains Easy On Hold President Julie Cook. “We’ve never recommended a trivia-only script for messages on hold, but with hold times upwards of 5 to 6 minutes, a bit of creativity and fun can work. A …
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.
The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
Are you ready to talk to the answering machine? Now you can with MY voice message. It listens, records, and even has a beep! Unlike other voicemails, every word is heard. This is a huge value, all for just 2 easy payments and one complicated payment. If you leave a message within the next 10 seconds, I will return your call free of charge. This offer is not available in stores, so leave a message now. Self-evident Jane Barbe (not a real recording, her real voice mashup) makes sure that you know…
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Be honest...you've been fooled by this one before, haven't you? It goes like this: riiiing, riiing, riiiing "Hey." "Hi, it's Juli what's up?" "Oh. I'm not here right now, leave me a message after the beep". There is actually very little I find more irritating than this voicemail, especially for business. Why do you want to fake out a business opportunity? This voicemail leaves callers feeling embarrassed and you looking foolish.
Greetings this is Egor… Answer 26 File size 15kb Harry Connick JR. Hi, this is… Answer 27 File size 66kb Hello, hello, oh hi… Answer 28 File size 38kb Audrey Hepburn. I’m answering this phone for my… Answer 29 File size 17kb Hello, i’m home right now but… Answer 30 File size 51kb Boris Karloff. I’m frightfully sorry…
– Thanks for calling. This is (name). Today is a Friday and I am working from our corporate office. If you need to reach me immediately, please call (number). Otherwise, please leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.
You’ve reached ARC Construction, leaders in home remodeling and construction services. We are pleased to announce that we were recently named ‘Best Local Contractor’ by the Phoenix Herald, and we finished another year ‘Complaint Free’ from the Better Business Bureau! It’s just the kind of service you’d expect from your hometown professionals. We are sorry we are unable to take your call at this time, please leave a message, and we will get back to you as promptly as possible.
Thank you so much for sharing these valuable information! I truly appreciated it!
Transfer a new answering message to your cell phone over the Internet with great sound quality. Find funny phone messages on PhoneMessage.com and transfer them to your cell phone for free.
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Most business organizations will always have a receptionist who will be responsible for receiving and transferring calls but in case you are using voicemail, then you need to know which are the ways in which you can phrase your greeting. Given below are two examples of greetings that you can use for your voicemail, one for during office hours and the other for after office hours. Thank you for calling (name of company). If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it now. Press 1 for (department). Press 2 for (department). Press 3 for the (department). Press 4 for the company directory, or press 0 for the operator. Thank you for calling (name of company). We are currently not here to take your call. Our business hours are (working hours and days). If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to leave a message for, you may dial the number now. Press 1 for (department). Press 2 for (department). Press 3 for (department). Press 9 for a company directory. If this is an emergency, please enter (after hours support number) to be connected with the after-hours support personnel.
Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time. Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings. I might even play my beep for you.
10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day.
While listening to Jimmy’s voicemail our hearts raced as we heard of how the man lay on the ground, apparently unable to get up as they continued to knock ten lumps of chocolate out of him.
However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. The new number is Yes, same number.
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Want to snag it (even as a starting point) so you don't have to go back through that video and type the whole freaking thing out?
The voicemail function allows the caller to leave a message in case you are busy. It informs the caller of your status and assures that the message will be heard. For instance, good voicemail greetings at corporate firms create a pleasant impression on the caller’s mind or a hilarious voicemail can make someone’s day. Parents can be assured that an urgent message will be delivered once you get access to your phone.
Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.
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-Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep-
41. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. Leave a message so we can call you back as soon as our team has a spare moment.
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If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touchtone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touchtone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system. 13. [Very fast] Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message
24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"
Answering Machine Messages: Funny, General And For Business - Wishes Messages Sayings. Just kidding, I love my job, [X company] is the best. This not only engages your targeted customers, but also creates a stronger sense of brand identity. Remember, only use fun or funny voicemail greetings if you feel that it reflects and works for your business.
A voicemail greeting is a simple message that plays before callers leave a message. It may play either when you don’t answer or if your phone is off. A professional greeting may encourage people to leave messages, which in turn makes it easier for you to get back in touch. Keeping that communication open and efficient may lead to better business relationships. It also helps you put forth a professional image for your business.
Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes.
Happy [Monday!] You’ve reached [Jessica on the Business Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m presently out of the office [for a meeting until late this afternoon]. Please include your name, number and the reason for your call and I’ll get back to you ASAP. Thank you and have a fantastic day!
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Live long and prosper. Click here to listen to the Star Trek voicemail greeting on Youtube. Hello, can you hear me? Hello from Ellen. Click here to hear how Hepburn brings these words to life. So please, leave a message at the sound of the beep… for the sake of anthropology. Hopkins later said that Hepburn's voice was, in part, the basis for Hannibal Lecter's voice in Silence of the Lambs.
Website: https://linkedphone.com/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings-scripts-examples-for-business/
Since this clip surfaced on the Internet in early 2005, several radio programs have aired interviews with persons claiming to have some involvement with this audio clip. On 4 February 2005, the nationally syndicated Coast to Coast AM show put through a caller who maintained he was the person who had been beaten by the women as described in the purported voicemail message. In late February, several stations broadcast
We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you’ll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny …
02Hello, you’ve reached [your name] of [your company/business]. I’m sorry that I’m not available to answer your call now. Please leave your details and a brief message at the tone and I’ll make sure your message reaches the right person. This is the perfect voicemail for a department’s secretary or operatory to let those calling know that their message will be delivered when you get back.
01Hello this is [your name], I’m either on another call or away from my desk. Please leave your details, along with a short message and I’ll get back to you. This is created by individual staff for their specific number or extensions. It’s a great voicemail greeting for work when you are on another line or away from your desk.
