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The actor, Jason Alexander, recently customized this answering greeting for a big fan, Kat Dennings. After learning of the famous actresses use of his 90’s greeting from Seinfeld on her voicemail, Jason recorded one for her on The Late Late Show with James Corden. Watch the full segment on Youtube here.
Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? .

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Interesting Voicemail Greeting Examples to Cheer Up Your Callers Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages. Here are a few examples of voicemail greetings to get an idea about appropriate messages that can be recorded the …
Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/1976/12/funny-voicemail-greetings-audio.html

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Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it! Corny jokes like this don't work anymore...and won't work in your voicemail greeting. Saying things like, "Hello, you've reach the machine that lives inside Mark's cell phone. Leave a message and I'll tell him!" are really unappealing and aren't even funny.
50. Hi, this is the customer service center at [X company]. We’re sorry to have missed your call. Leave your name and number and the next available representative will call you back to assist you. Things to Include in a Voicemail Message Get the Caller to Leave Their Name and Phone Number

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2. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s voicemail box. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your contact information I’ll get back to you within 24 hours.

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If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.

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    Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.
    Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.

    9. AT&T Visual Voicemail. With AT&T Visual Voicemail, you get easier access to voicemails. You get visual voicemails straight from your mobile carrier that increases the accuracy of reading the voicemails and removes the need to call from your mail inbox.
    – Hi, this is (name). I’m sorry I cannot take your call right now. Please leave a detailed message after the tone along with your name and telephone number. I will give you a call as soon as I return. Thank you.

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    Hi, I am a machine. Why do you hate talking to me? I never hurt anyone. Can we talk after the beep?

    48. Hello, you’ve reached [name] at [company name]. If you need help with [X reason], please contact [X person/X system] or [visit our website at X and send us an email]. For all other inquiries, please leave your name, phone number, and a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
    "Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

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    I can't come to the phone now. So if, well, actually, I can come to the phone now. I mean, like, I'm at the phone now, recording this message, but I'm doing this now, while you're listening to it later. Except for you I guess it's now, like, when you're listening to it. I mean, like, wait.
    You may think your voicemail message is professional. But when you listen back it could sound rushed or shaky. Listen to it regularly to see if changes are needed.

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    Make it funny! Now not everyone is the funniest comedian, and this time to practice a stand-up routine. No one wants to reach your voicemail just to be greeted with 15 knock-knock jokes. But you can easily add some humor, lighten up the tone a bit and try to leave people with a smile. Of course, keep it light – no dark humor here.

    Perhaps this guy was tired, maybe having a bad day, and hopefully he doesn’t leave this type of message regularly.
    -Hey! Sorry I missed your call. If you’re a telemarketer, then I’m definitely not sorry. If you’re not a telemarketer, then I’ll return your call as soon as possible.

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    After hours of brainstorming and countless redos, area man Tom Fulton finally recorded the perfect joke voicemail that no other person will ever bother listening to.

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    10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day.

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    Our friend Jim then proceeds to describe what happens as the man gets out of his truck to go chastise the women he’d just driven into. He reaches the driver’s window when events take a sudden and violent turn:

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    “We are thrilled to be partnering with YouMail to help entertainers such as Katt Williams connect with their fans through YouMail’s unique and innovative voicemail service,” said Gary Binkow, CEO of Salient Media. “YouMail offers not only a way to connect entertainers with their fans, but also gives fans the opportunity to express their personality and interests in a new and exciting way.”

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