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Download your FREE Phorest Two-Pager Cheat Sheet for Voicemail & Hold The Line greeting!

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Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number.
21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break FREEAnsweringMachineMessages. FREE. Answering. Machine. Messages. Below is a list of various Answering Machine Messages and messages you can use on your voice mail system. 6thSenseDetectiveAgency.wav AdamSandlerPotSmokers.mp3 Africain.mp3 Afterlife.wav AliceCooper.wav .

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There was a time once we were mad for the funny voicemail greetings, creative voicemail greetings, it seems like that time has gone, now everyone leaves WhatsApp and iMessage instead of voicemails. For the exceptions, we have prepared this article to set up custom voicemail greetings on iOS with some sample Voicemail Greeting messages for iPhone, which takes almost less than two minutes if you correctly follow the steps. Undoubtedly, many professionals still actively use the voicemail feature for office purposes.

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Transfer a new answering message to your cell phone over the Internet with great sound quality. Find funny phone messages on PhoneMessage.com and transfer them to your cell phone for free.
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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. 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Since you are recording audio, make sure you are in a silent place or a place with minimum background noise. This will help you create a perfect business voicemail greeting clear.

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Are you creating a voicemail greeting for your entire company or team? These business voicemail greetings will do the trick.

  • business voicemail greetings examples

    A good voicemail greeting is short and professional, lets people know that you’ll get back to them, and invites callers to continue engaging with a call-to-action. You should also show your personality if you’re in an industry or role that allows that. If your industry is more conservative, however, you’ll want to keep humor and personal touches to a minimum. A greeting Your name Your company A simple explanation for missing the call (e.g. you’re away from the phone or are on holiday) A rough estimate of when you’ll get back to the person An alternative person to reach out to (if you’re out of office) An alternative mode of communication (if you prefer email or text) A call-to-action such as “Leave a message” or “Send me an email at [email protected]

    After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.
    Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks.

  • professional personal voicemail greeting examples

    I’ve assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown. Book a free demo Request a quote

    “Is it displacing phone calls? Not to any significant degree. I was just in a practice yesterday that has 30 incoming phone lines and cannot keep up with the call volume with four receptionists on at all times.”
    And remember, while you’re busy returning your calls, Blitz can be automating other parts of your sales process. We can assign leads to your staff or even send emails to your customers.

  • fun professional voicemail greetings

    Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts

    Wizard of Ads™ Partner, Mick Torbay, has a solution for those times when you just can’t make it to the phone, but want to keep your customer thinking and feeling positive about you. Mick writes and records magical outgoing phone messages. https://wizardofads.contractors/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Stadium-June-2021.mp3
    1. Hi this is [your name], I’m either away from my desk or on the phone, please leave your name and number along with a short message and I’ll be sure to get back to you. 2. I’m sorry, but I’m momentarily tied up. Please leave your name and number, and I’ll …

  • download funny voicemail greetings

    Little things like a great voicemail can really set you apart from your competition. Think about it. Would you be more inclined to want to interview someone who is shouting about how much they hate calling people back, or the person who simply asks you to leave a message? Andrea (she/her) is our head of PR at Snagajob, where she’s focused on telling the world how we help hourly workers and employers. Her first hourly job was as a lifeguard.

    Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.
    After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server.

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6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you.

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7. Automated And Recorded Voicemail Greetings Overview. Thank You! Callers Hear A Professionally Recorded Greeting Introducing Your Company, And Then The Caller Is Transferred Out To Speak To You Live.

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