Hi! Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
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"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.
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No47: This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
Moving on. I asked them to tell us not just about their house in their message, but their situation. I invite them to at least open the door and describing whether or not this is an inherited property or a road old rental property or what have you. Obviously they can choose whether they want to include that at all or how much they want to say about it, but at least asking for it makes sense to me.
Hi. This is [Name] from [Business Name]. We are currently involved in a relocation. Our new office will be open for business on March 21st, 8 am to 9 pm, Central Standard Time. You may contact us at that time at 555-555-2343. Thank you for your call.
Hi, I am not here right now, but if you are a friend, leave a message, if you are a creditor you can kiss my... (beep)
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I’ll get back to you as soon as it’s safe for you to come out of hiding.
Funny Answering Machine MessagesFunny Answering machine messages, excuses for being away from the phone, and phone pranks! Location: Clean Jokes > Answering machine messages Machine related Answering message 01 Answering message 03 Answering message 05 Answering message 07 Answering message 09 Answering message 11 Answering message 13 Answering message 15 Answering message 17 Answering message 19 Answering message 21 Answering message 23 Answering message 25 Answering message 27 Answering message 29 Answering message 31 Answering message 33 Answering message 35 Answering message 37 Answering message 32 Answering message 34 Answering message 36 Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages. Copyright © 2014 Aha! Jokes LLC. Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use subject to terms.
“Hi, this is Ralph. You’re getting this message because I’m probably sleeping. Leave your message at the tone and maybe I’ll call you back when I’m awake. If this is about anything food-related, please press 411 and your call will be rerouted to the dog, who will immediately wake me up to take your call. Do not use 411 because you want to tell me you lost a whisker or your human changed cat litter brands on you. I don’t care. Food only! And anyway, why aren’t YOU sleeping? Weirdo.”
3. Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP. Thank you for calling 217-2962.
30. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently out of the office and will return on [X date]. If your call requires urgent attention, please call [Name] at [phone number] and they’ll be happy to assist you. If not, leave a message and I’ll return your call when I get back.
Website: https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/professional-voicemail-greeting
No17: Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.