3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."
This is an audio test. Please listen carefully. Raise your hand when you hear the tone and state which ear it comes from.

Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude. Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice: Hello, this is the executioner. Do you want your voicemail returned? Saying goodbye to a friend like you is like saying goodbye to my own soul — it is just not possible. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything. what are funny voicemail greetings Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them. Patented Technologies Tesla Powerwall Hybrid Grid 48V LiFePO4 Lithium ion Battery 10KWh Solar Home Energy Storage System Be Part Of Our Story! what to say on a personal voicemail greeting HindiPunjabiTamilTeluguMarathiGujaratiBengaliKannadaBhojpuriMalayalamUrduHaryanviRajasthaniOdiaAssamese how to greet interviewer on video call Please read what the event is about. It is NOT about people asking questions on issues. It is about "How can Congress effectively use Facebook". :) Facebook DC Live: Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) | Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=105580199526052) very funny voicemail greetings If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. Contact Us Website: https://cellphones.lovetoknow.com/cell-phone-guides-how-tos/great-quotes-leave-voicemail Send Message Create an account. I agree to the license terms. Sign Up You already have an account? Login here. professional voicemail greetings for your cell phone We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval. “Hi, this is [name]. I’m either on another call or am away from my desk. Please leave your name, contact details, number and your reason for reaching out and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling.” So, I added a, you, uh, your, uh, just a pause or maybe a little chuckle in here or there just to make it sound organic. So right off the top, if we've already spoken about your house and you just need to leave a message, press pound now and leave a message after the tone. So that obviously has a practical use because if sellers call back because that's the only number that they have, maybe the second or third time, I don't want to have to make them endure the entire message before they leave us a message. And that is actually how Vumber works. Hi! You've reached Janet and Chris's room. We're not in right now. If this is our parents, we're at the library studying. Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's the ticket. If this is John, Chris is out with the girls at the party. Yeah, that's it. If this is any one else, we're at a party and you're not. Yeah, a party with the president. Yeah and the, the, the Pope. Yeah that's it. -Hello? Oh hey wait a minute I can’t hear you… Sorry, hold on… Nope, still can’t hear you. You want to know why? Because I’m not here right now. So leave a message at the beep. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information. Women Men Kids Luggage Sales & Deals New Arrivals Our Brands Clothing, Shoes & Jewelry › Novelty & More › Clothing › Novelty › Women › Tops & Tees › T-Shirts This Is For Rachel Funny Viral Meme Voicemail Quote Saying T-Shirt 2.9 out of 5 stars 4 ratings Price: $18.95 Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime & FREE Returns Return this item for free You can return this item for any reason: no shipping charges. The item must be returned in new and unused condition. Read the full returns policy Go to Your Orders to start the return Print the return shipping label Ship it! 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This guy ran a red light and hit four old ladies in an Impala. Thanks for calling Dial-An-Idiot. Right now, all our idiots are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an idiot return your call as soon as possible. Reassuring the caller that they contacted the correct number or reached the person they intended helps reduce the number of hang-ups and wasted messages you’ll receive. Here are a few notes on how to leave the best greeting possible, along with some voicemail message examples you can use in your own company! This is it. If you are not satisfied with the custom voicemail greeting, then follow the same steps and do it again. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb. It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom. Uh-oh! (Sound of a paper bag exploding.) professional funny voicemail how to call straight to voicemail landline sample small business voicemail greetings Close Project unique business voicemail greetings Since our digital call center is open 24/7/365, you will never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile. Share this story! Share on Google Plus Share on Facebook Tweet Pin it Share on Tumblr Only registered users can write comments. Please, log in or register Do you need our services? Call us! 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Can we talk after the beep? 5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Funny Answering Machine MessagesFunny Answering machine messages, excuses for being away from the phone, and phone pranks! Location: Clean Jokes > Answering machine messages Machine related Answering message 01 Answering message 03 Answering message 05 Answering message 07 Answering message 09 Answering message 11 Answering message 13 Answering message 15 Answering message 17 Answering message 19 Answering message 21 Answering message 23 Answering message 25 Answering message 27 Answering message 29 Answering message 31 Answering message 33 Answering message 35 Answering message 37 Answering message 32 Answering message 34 Answering message 36 Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages. Copyright © 2014 Aha! Jokes LLC. Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use subject to terms. My Account. Home Personal My Voicemail Greeting. My Voicemail Greeting. Various messages for using with my cellphone voicemail. Phone Greeting Generic. Phone greeting 2. Phone greeting 3. Ringtone- hey your phone is ringing sung. Angry Southern Man. Clint Eastwood. Irish Phone Msg. I can't find the phone. Pick up the phone. Download and install Slydial onto your phone.Sign up for an account and log into the app.Dial 267-SLYDIAL to connect to the service.Enter the cell number you are trying to reach when prompted.Leave your message.See More....What is a good professional voicemail greeting? funny greetings for new year personal voicemail greeting generator what to say on personal voicemail greeting Close Project funny greetings for mothers day 3. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m sorry I’ve missed your call. If you leave your name, number, and reason for calling, I’ll get back to you as promptly as possible. "Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished." If you’re a small business owner, we recommend going with the RIY (record it yourself) route. First, it’s more affordable. Second (and more importantly), if your clients expect to work with you directly, they will expect to hear your voice when they place a phone call. Please enable Strictly Necessary Cookies first so that we can save your preferences! Browse All Designs New Tees on Sale Featured Designers Newest Designers You have Javascript disabled. Javascript is required for this site to function properly. Please enable Javascript and return here. T-Shirts Tank Tops Hoodies Crewneck Sweatshirts Long Sleeve T-Shirts Baseball T-Shirts Good professional voicemail greeting examples. A business named Lorem Ipsum, which sells widgets, wants to leave a brief message that confirms for the listener that they have called the right business. The message would also prompt the caller to provide information needed … 34. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m currently out of the office celebrating [X holiday]. I’ll be back on [X date], so leave a quick message and I’ll be sure to return your call when I get back. Have a happy [holiday]! funny voicemail mental health hotline funny voicemail recording ideas how do i put a voice message on my phone Close Project funny voicemail memes Wholesale Lifepo4 Battery lithium iron phosphate battery cell 3.2v 100ah lithium polymer cells twitter youtube linkedin facebook Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me. Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message. Obviously, my dad always replied with "Hello, this is 555-6789, give us a call back when you can." Every time. Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return. Voice mail is only impersonal if you make it that way. One way to help increase the effectiveness of voice mail is to change your greeting at least weekly if not daily. Your greeting should let the caller know who they have reached, what is the persons status ( out of the office, in the office but in meetings etc), when the caller can expect to funny greetings for tuesday funny voicemail recordings audio funny voicemail about chinese vaccine Close Project simple business voicemail greetings When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off. – Thank you for calling (name of the company). If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 8 to access our fax on-demand system. Press 9 for a company directory, or press 0 for the operator. Job SeekersSummer JobsSecurityLocal JobsBrowse JobsJob Search and Career AdviceVisit our Community PageContact Us No20: Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message. One episode of The Simpsons has Homer and Marge buying a book about trying to invoke this trope, and end up trying to record a message together while reading out of it. It sort of goes without saying, but it ends up being So Unfunny It's Funny.. A season 2 episode had Homer calling Barney for bail, and initially gets an answering machine message sung to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. non professional voicemail greetings really funny voicemail greetings funny voicemail to call Close Project X