If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you want. But you can tell me all of that in the message you
No one wants to hear that they have been fired, but hey, it happens, and you’re...
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A robot? Seriously, a robot? Are you that lazy that you can’t set up a stinking voice mail greeting?
-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this stupid machine. Readers also Love to Read:100+ Affirmations for Long Distance Relationship 59+ Best Goodbye Messages to Colleagues 101+ Catchy Goodbye Slogans and Quotes 48+ Best Wedding Puns and Funny Quotes “Learn to Stress Less” 68+ Inspiring Quotes
Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping.
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
Sources report that when a single caller finally listened to Fulton’s voicemail, they didn’t fall for it.
21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow.
The first call is from a man that looked in the yellow pages under the pest control category and decided that we looked like the right people to call to report that 3 men were throwing a dead goat into a dumpster.
Voicemail greeting: "Hi. I'm probably home but avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message after the beep. If I don't call back it was you." Menu No categories 7 Funniest Voicemail Greetings That Will Make You Chuckle The Team 5 years ago No Comments Next '
Professional voicemails are important, because they’re an extension of your personal brand, reflecting what level of professionalism you offer. Use these voicemail greetings for work or personal cell phone messages for your specific needs. You can choose a voice that will best suit your business and will deliver a warm and professional voice message. Your callers don’t want to hear a cold and indifferent machine voice. The information you want to put in your voicemail should be succinct enough for your callers to get every bit of information they need. Leave the relevant information in a clear and precise manner. Professional voicemail greetings for work should be informative. The first message the customer hears should have the company’s name so they can be sure they’ve reached the right number. Be courteous and informative. This could be their first point of contact, and you want it to be enjoyable. You may also like 30 Best Wishes and Congratulations for New Business Adventures If you’re going to make your voicemail message humorous in some way, it should be tasteful and aligned to your brand. It shouldn’t get in the way of giving customers enough information when they call. Your voicemail greetings for work should be welcoming and friendly but not too informal. Customers want to feel confident that they’ve contacted a professional, that the company values their call, and they have made the right choice. So be friendly but not too nonchalant. Your voicemail greeting should be clear, concise and to-the-point. You don’t have to put your clients through a sales pitch when they are trying to just get some information.
Here is a great short example: Hello this is [first name] with {business name} in {city name} . I apologize I cannot answer the call at the moment, please leave me your name, number, and I will return the call as soon as get back to the phone. Here you have let the caller know that they have reached your business, and that you are sorry you can’t answer right away. It assures them that you are interested in their call, and that you will get back with them as soon as you can.
46. Hello, you’ve reached [name], [job title] at [company]. I’m currently away from my desk or on another call. Please leave a detailed message so I can return your call as soon as I get back.
No11: "You have called 655-9229. If you are my mom, I will write you as soon as I can, I promise. If you are my son, sorry, I am broke too. If you are a friend, leave a message after the tone. If you are a salesman...FORGET IT." No12: This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help.
My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
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