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You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

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Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.
Leave no doors of opportunity for them. Comedy Calls is a free prank calling website, brought to you by the creators of The Rejection Hotline Whether you are dealing with frustrated callers, want to further promote your business, or have important info to share, here are the top 8 voicemail greetings and sample voicemail scripts your business should consider. .

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No33: (Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice:) Hello, this is the executioner. Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD! Leave a name and number and IF we decide to resurrect him, he'll call you back.

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Voicemail greetings can include any information you’d wish to convey, such as special sales, bargains, alternate phone numbers to use, or your company’s normal working hours.
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professional funny voicemail greetings

This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don’t wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.

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funny voicemail greetings ideas

Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.

  • professional funny voicemail greetings

    Best Top 10 Answering Machine Messages. 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.

    Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.
    Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?

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    Hello. You’ve reached the establishment of Binder and Binder Law Offices in West Chapel. We regret we are not here to answer your call. However, your call is important to us, so please leave your contact information and a brief message at the tone, and we’ll get back to you shortly. It’s been a pleasure receiving your call.

    Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine.
    41. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. Leave a message so we can call you back as soon as our team has a spare moment.

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    Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.

    8. 605–475–6973: Quit complaining. Do you know someone who is perpetually complaining about their high-class problems? Whining and groaning, inconsiderately?
    Just cut it. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers. Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Funny Voicemail Message 4 Alright listen, I'm on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.

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    Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.

    Does that mean the number of incoming calls and voice mails are also in massive decline in the world of veterinary medicine in favor of electronic communication? Probably not.
    Show off your pop culture knowledge and creativity when you take a famous movie quote and give it a cute relationship twist.

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short and professional voicemail greetings

These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you?

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-Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep-

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I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.

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7.) End on a high note! You don’t necessarily need to say “Goodbye” at the end of a voicemail, because you didn’t really talk to anyone. Instead, try something like, “Look forward to chatting with you!” Use the word “with” instead of “to.” It sounds less like the person is going to receive a parental or boss “talking to” and more like two people who are eager to connect with one another on the phone. It’s a subtle difference, yet it’s a gracious one!

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