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Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee’s voicemail), it doesn’t preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.

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22. "Hi, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. We're closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year's, Fourth of July, etc.]." .

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-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
The voicemail greeting should be multiple choice and include things like the name of your company, an automated response that is friendly and informative, and information on how to contact you by phone.

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1. The Celebrity Greeting. Hello! If you are [insert celebrity crush or famous person], call my personal line. You know what number that is. Wink wink. The President is not in the office.
10. Hello, you’ve reached [your company]. We’re sorry to have missed your call. Please leave a brief message including your name, number, and reason for calling and a member of our team will get back to you within one business day.

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Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

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    A good example of a telesales consultant who has either received very poor training or perhaps no training at all. As a sales manager and trainer I do not allow new consultants onto the phones unless they are ready.A great lesson for all sales managers and trainers. What Do You Think About This Voice Message? : Telephone Sales : Selling & Marketing Tips To Increase Sales So I Was Dead | Il Commerciale – The Salesman ©

    “This is Roxie. If you’re receiving this message, I’m probably in the linen closet, rolling on sheets and towels. Try my other phone. If you get my voicemail on that one, I’m probably in the linen closet, rolling on sheets and towels. Stop bothering me.”
    Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a …

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    Make it funny! Now not everyone is the funniest comedian, and this time to practice a stand-up routine. No one wants to reach your voicemail just to be greeted with 15 knock-knock jokes. But you can easily add some humor, lighten up the tone a bit and try to leave people with a smile. Of course, keep it light – no dark humor here.

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    Practice your spiel so you can speak with authority. This lets the caller know how confident, qualified, and prepared you are. The goal is to sound like you’ve been doing this for years, not a few minutes.

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    -Hello. All of our operators are busy right now, but if you’ll leave your name, telephone number, a brief message, and the time you called, we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you and have a pleasant day.

    Thanks to these answering machines, we can request our callers to leave their contact details with the machine, so that we can easily get back to them. How about adding a fun element to your answering machine messages and sharing a few laughs with your callers! Here is a list of some funny messages and greetings for answering machines. Hello
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    About: Creative Voicemail Messages has free scripts for voicemails ranging from funny voicemail messages to professional voicemail greetings. Voicemail Messages. Creative - Cool and creative voicemails that you use for your cellphone. Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for …

    Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous!
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Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.

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I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow.

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Don’t leave customers and colleagues on edge. If you say you’re going to call them back, follow up. If you tend to fall behind in this area, encourage them to email you or reach out in another way. Better yet, learn how to forward voicemail to email so you can access the message anywhere.

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