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Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.

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Here's 10 humorous 'School Answering Machine' messages (author unknown) that we've turned into a high quality poster that you can download and print out. You are welcome to put it up on your Teacher's Room wall for everyone to see. 'LIKE' it on Facebook, tweet about it, email it to your fellow teachers - share the joy!
Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a client’s interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback. .

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40 Voicemail Greetings & Phone Message Templates [Business, Funny, Professional] Nowadays most people rely on their phones so much that it’s basically become a part of our lifestyle. They used to be just a device which can be used to talk and communicate verbally.
Of course, your phone rang because someone wanted to get in touch. They got your voicemail because you were busy or just not there. If you section off a block of your day to check voicemails, let the caller know so they can expect a time for you to return their call. People will leave more details if they know someone will check it later.

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You’ve reached ARC Construction, leaders in home remodeling and construction services. We are pleased to announce that we were recently named ‘Best Local Contractor’ by the Phoenix Herald, and we finished another year ‘Complaint Free’ from the Better Business Bureau! It’s just the kind of service you’d expect from your hometown professionals. We are sorry we are unable to take your call at this time, please leave a message, and we will get back to you as promptly as possible.

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– I wish I was available to take your important call but, you see, I’m trying to do a lot of things that just can’t get done when I’m talking on the phone. Please leave your name and number and I’ll try and call you back if everything gets done.

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Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.

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    Category: Phone Number, Mobile Phone, Home Phone, Computer, Mail Service Show more

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    After creating, the Voicemail Greeting, you can test it by calling to your number from another phone, and see if it is playing correctly or not. Open the Phone App. On the lower screen, tap on the Voicemail option. Select Custom, with this option, you can record the personal voicemail greeting on the iPhone. Tap Record, to start recording the voicemail greeting message on the iPhone. Greeting samples are given in this article below, Once you are done with recording, tap Play to listen. Lastly, if everything is alright, and custom voicemail recording is perfect, then tap Save.

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    Website: http://allowe.com/laughs/book/88 Creative Answering Machine Messages.htm

    1. If the reason I was calling you was to ask you what kind of music you like, this little interlude would be perfect. But let me assure you, the reason I was calling was NOT to ask you what kind of music you like.
    Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

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    10. Nobody Misses The Clever Answering Machine Message. Connect Your Team All Under One Number, No Matter If They Are Working Down The Hall Or Across The Country.

    “Thank you for calling [company/person’s name]. We are currently unavailable, but if you leave your name, phone number, and message, we will get back to you as soon as possible.”
    Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording. Click here and listen on Youtube to what it would sound like if Mr. Jackson leant his voice to your voicemail recording.

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    Ha..Ha..Ha.. I like this so much because it is funny. Here use this infographic services I am sure you will like this.

    Do you find yourself putting pen to paper, staring blankly at the wall, searching for just what to say? Well, know that it happens to the best of us. To help you out, we’ve included some voicemail greeting samples for you to look at. Both the 10 formal and 10 informal samples should give you the prompting you need to start crafting your own voicemail script.
    39. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m not at my desk right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.

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Aside from the fact that we can't substantiate a bit of this, of course, the one thing that seems fishy to me is that he's able to not only pick out that she hit him with a Bible (which, depending on his vantage point, I guess he could see - or at least think he sees), but he's able to say which version of the Bible it is. That's awfully odd to me.

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2. [DOWNLOAD] Pre Recorded Answering Machine Messages | updated! Casual, Fun Greetings Want to keep things light and simple while making your callers laugh when they hear your greeting?

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That’s why it’s critical that each customer interaction with your business is consistent, positive, and represents the values and personality of your company. This includes your storefront, website, social media presence, emails, and every interaction you have with your customers, both online and in-person.

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