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Oh, and if you’re looking for extra marketing resources, grab your FREE copy of The Beauty & Hair Salon Owners Ultimate Guide To Facebook today! Label {} [+] Name* Email* Website Oldest Newest Zoé Bélisle-Springer is an award-winning writer, author of various ebooks, podcaster and speaker known for their contributions to inspiring materials destined for the salon community. They have been featured in SalonEVO, Salon Today, Professional Beauty UK, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Future Of Everything and spoken at conferences such as Modern Salon’s Digital Summit, the Thrive Sessions, Seattle Interactive and Uppercase. As Phorest Salon Software’s Community & Content Manager, they are responsible for the planning and execution of localised audio and written content as well as driving community engagement leading to collaborative course content, mentorship programs and online/on-demand video content. See all articles by Zoé Bélisle-Springer Over the last few decades, the price of living has gone up, and customers’ habits have changed. In the hair and beauty industry, there’s still quite a bit of fear […] For a couple of years now, December also means Spotify users, artists and podcasters get their “Spotify Wrapped” or year in review. This year on Phorest FM, we produced over […] Brand & PR / Sales & Marketing “The beauty industry is a different beast!” That’s what my boss used to tell me when I worked at Urban Retreat. From hairdressers to medispa and beauty, this business had […] Book a free demo Request a quote

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Home » Funny Voicemail Quotes & Sayings
“Hello, you’ve reached the special agent Bond. James Bond. Okay okay, it’s actually [last name]. I’m currently away saving the world on a top-secret mission but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Please leave your name, contact info, number, and availability and I’ll call back as soon as I’m done helping M16. Have a great day. [last name] out!” .

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Whatever holiday voicemail greeting for business you decide to create for your office will definitely fall on your own personality, taste and environment. Just remember to follow some simple rules and to remain professional, you wouldn’t want to scare callers away without even a chance to speak to them directly! The Holidays offer a unique opportunity to extend the person ability of our greetings even further, and you never know, might just help you land your next deal.
When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.

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No19: I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
We are here to help you! If you close the chatbox, you will automatically receive a responsefrom us via email. Please be sure to leave yourcontact details so that we can better assist

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OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep. Hello, this is name.However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Just kidding, buddy. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything. Step 2 Record a message using a friend who speaks in a deep, low, creepy voice and says "[your name] can't come to the phone.

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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. 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  • short voicemail personal voicemail greeting examples for cell phone

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    I know that in some cases you’re going to have a budget you have to work with for your voicemail greeting ideas. If you are looking to hire a voice talent chances are you have a budget in mind.
    5. Hello. I’m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.

  • short and professional voicemail greetings

    For many years, businesses in Fort Worth have relied on voicemail greetings to deliver a professional impression to callers. More recently, the voicemail greeting format has been adapted by businesses to communicate in-person visit information, special offers, and customer feedback.

    Here are some of the examples. ! Best Voicemail Greetings ! These voicemail greeting ideas will be your help to inform the callers that you are not available, you are doing something or you are out of the office. ! 1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I …
    Since you are recording audio, make sure you are in a silent place or a place with minimum background noise. This will help you create a perfect business voicemail greeting clear.

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    Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

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    Be innocent and coy one time, and more in-your-face with the next voice note. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! By Michele Meleen Counselor. Cute Messages. Going to voicemail doesn't need to make you stop in your tracks and panic.Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting?

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    You’ve reached the general mailbox for Case Manufacturing. We are located in Fort Worth at 600 Everman Parkway, just East of I-35 in the Worth Industrial Park. Our office is open to serve you Monday through Friday from 8 am until 5 pm. For more information on our products and manufacturing capabilities, visit Case Manufacturing Inc dot com. Our website also allows you to request a quote and place your orders online. All other inquiries, please leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible.

    So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me?
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One of Mr. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines.

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The female voicemail greeting experts know how to pace their delivery and produce the perfect sound for your application.

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A long time back I found all the AT&T voice pieces in a set of .wav files. I made an answering machine message that said, "I'm sorry... the number you have dialed xxx-xxxx is no longer in service. You can reach your party at their new number, 911." Something to that affect. I don't think many people even got to my phone number before they hung up. I changed it shortly thereafter.

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