Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? If so, scroll for some really funny voice-mail greetings, which will surely bring a… 18+ Voicemail Greeting Examples to Help You Record the Perfect One
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"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
These skills help you stay on point with a focus on graciousness and the gold standard of living out the Golden Rule. They’re simple, savvy, and sincere. Plus, they’ll have people eager to hear and return your phone calls!
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Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
Now, towards the end, I want to be sure and set the expectation that I'm probably not going to be in a position to pay you full market value for your property and I explained why. However, I can pay a fair price based on the condition and the situation you have at hand.
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Keep in mind that short greetings are often much better then trying to say way too much that could confuse your callers. Some pointers to ask, “please leave your name and number”, or maybe ask them to go your business website to contact you by email, or even as simple as text.
Short Business Voicemail Greetings. Hi there, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. Thanks for calling. I'm unable to answer the phone but if you leave your name, phone number, and message. I'll make sure to return your call as soon as possible. Hello, you’ve reached the office of at [X company].
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I love it! Every time I hear something like this and realize that there really are terrible sales people out there – doing stuff like this – it gives me huge encouragement. I’m sure I make mistakes, who doesn’t, but wow!!!
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“Glad you called, but I just am not able to entertain you right now. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Don’t forget to leave your name and number, so I don’t get mixed up with different offers, and go to the wrong restaurant. Bye!”
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“In a world where the person you are trying to reach can’t answer the phone… there’s only one choice. Leave a message.”
When you want callers to leave a message, make sure your voicemail greeting indicates that. Be sure to keep your greeting short and direct, and include the info you want to capture.
I love this script~ I am reading Robert Allen’ Multiple Streams of Income and was needing a script to use. THank you!
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Your voicemail is important. Keep in mind, this is essentially one of the first impressions the hiring manager will have from you. You need to make sure your voicemail is as professional as possible. Whether you are trying to be funny, trying to show off your singing abilities or shouting in the car with the windows down, chances are the hiring manager won’t be impressed. Go into a quiet room and record a simple, “Hi, you’ve reached Kim Costa. I’m sorry I missed your call, but if you please leave your name, number and a brief message I will get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!” You really can’t go wrong with this. Trust me when I say that hiring managers probably don’t want to hear your high school’s fight song.
Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
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24. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. Every call is important to us, so please leave a brief message that includes your name and phone number so a member of our customer success team can call you back as quickly as possible.
No17: Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
23. Hello, thank you for calling [business name]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and a member of our team will return your call within 24 hours.
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The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA!
“This is Roxie. If you’re receiving this message, I’m probably in the linen closet, rolling on sheets and towels. Try my other phone. If you get my voicemail on that one, I’m probably in the linen closet, rolling on sheets and towels. Stop bothering me.”
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However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. The new number is Yes, same number.
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10. "Hello, you've reached [X company]. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours."
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The call itself is apparently real, but no one can substantiate whether this guy just made a call and made up the whole story. As for people claiming to have been involved...there is no shortage of attention-seekers in this country, so that doesn't really persuade me either. Search Menu Main Menu Voicemail Records Confrontration After Traffic Accident Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a motorist and four elderly women? David Mikkelson Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
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If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.
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The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected] ].
13. "Hello, you've reached [company]. If you're looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to chat with our team? Leave your name and number, and we'll return your call straight away."
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Just leave a comment below sharing your honest feedback on the motivated seller voicemail script I'm sharing. Whatever you think after hearing my thoughts behind it in the video above. Good, bad, and anywhere in between. You might even have a solid tweak to suggest—I'm open! Alternately, I’m also interested in hearing anything else (another resource or tool) that you’d like us to share in a future “Swipe & Deploy” like this. Do tell.
Hello, this is the Computer Music Research Institute of Portland, Oregon. We can't take your call at the moment, but we would like you to leave a critique of one of our current works in progress.
If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you. Imagine all of your callers being greeted as if they were watching a trailer for the next blockbuster hit.
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Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David.
A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't want them irritated by your voicemail message. Here are 5 examples of funny phone greetings, and why you shouldn't use them on your cell.
Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message.
Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you?
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Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, i'll try to squeeze you in.
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After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
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No34: Tim's dead! And God only knows where Lisa is! Fortunately resurrections and divine revelations do tend to occur from time to time, so leave a message and we'll let you know when the next miracle occurs.
ProfileFriendsGroupsDiscussionsCommentsReading ChallengeKindle Notes & HighlightsQuotesFavorite genresFriends’ recommendationsAccount settingsHelpSign out Start by marking “No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages” as Want to Read: We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi. Problem: It’s the wrong book It’s the wrong edition Other Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi liked it 3.00 · Rating details · 3 ratings · 1 review Published March 28th 1984 by CCC Publications (first published March 1984) 0918259002 (ISBN13: 9780918259004) To ask other readers questions about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages, please sign up. Be the first to ask a question about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list » Aug 02, 2014 Kelly rated it liked it I like this book. Great, snarky answering machine messages. There's something so special about each class of debut YA authors; after all, young adult fiction is all about the hopefulness of new... Company About us Careers Terms Privacy Interest Based Ads Ad Preferences Help AirPods AirPods Max AirPods Pro Apple Car Apple Deals Apple Glasses Apple Pay Apple Pro Display XDR Apple TV Apple Watch SE Apple Watch Series 7 CarPlay HomePod HomePod mini iMac iOS 14 iOS 15 iPad iPad Air iPad mini iPad Pro iPadOS 14 iPadOS 15 iPhone 11 iPhone 12 iPhone 13 iPhone 13 Pro iPhone 14 iPhone SE 2020 iPod touch Mac mini Mac Pro MacBook Air MacBook Pro 13" MacBook Pro 16" macOS Big Sur macOS Monterey watchOS 7 watchOS 8 Home New Posts Forum List Trending New Threads New Media Spy New posts WikiPost Latest summaries Watched WikiPosts Support FAQ and Rules Contact Us Thread starter patrick0brien Start date Jun 14, 2006 Sort by reaction score
Voicemail greetings are not memorable. Most of them are exactly the same and therefore, provide no surprise to the person on the other end of the line. When people see, hear and experience the expected, they tend to forget it very quickly. Funny voicemail greetings give your callers a sense of shock. That shock is not easily forgotten. Not only will this encourage sharing and engagement (which I will get to later), but it will also give you a distinct advantage when you return the call.
You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.
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In other words, voice mail isn’t dead yet for veterinarians. Let’s consider strategies to make your voice mail messages effective. Always strive to move the conversation forward, even if that’s simply to let clients know: The best times to reach you When you’ll try to call again How to connect with you in other ways (email or text message)
Website: https://www.amazingvoice.com/blog/10-best-professional-voicemail-greetings
The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
Seems a bit long but should definitely screen out those not truly interested and there’s always the option to press #. I’m going to split test this with my next mailing.
1. 911, what’s your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just don’t let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.
I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
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This type of voicemail greeting is usually started something like “You have reached the voicemail of..” It is a great greeting for not only business
43. Hello, this is [X company]. We’re not able to take your call at the moment, but please leave a brief message so we can get back to you shortly.
The hiring manager loved your error-free application, and really liked the initiative you showed when you came in to follow up on your application. They have a really good feeling about you and are looking forward to having you come in to interview for the position. There’s even talk about hiring you on the spot! So, the manger dials your number and…ring….ring….ring…”We’re sorry, the voicemail box you are trying to reach is full. Please try again later.” The manager starts to think that you aren’t taking this very seriously and moves on to the rest of the applications, as there isn’t any time to waste with this job needing to be filled quickly.
“Holiday voicemail greeting is the perfect opportunity to personalize the usually neutral corporate communication.” 9 scripts for holiday voicemail greetings. Below we have listed several ideas for great voicemail messages, depending on your company’s needs. 1. Happy [X holiday]! You’ve reached [ …
Luckily, voicemail recordings are here to help! Surely, you’ve encountered them in the past. A warm, personal greeting, recorded using a real human voice, listing out dial options (“Press 1 for…, Press 2 for…), or simply explaining why the call isn’t available, saying that you can leave a message after the beep!
Best Answering Machine Messages The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine
