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Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.

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"Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished."
Answering the phone with funny phrases, like “talk to me” or “Yello”, is a classic. However, the more creative you are, the funnier you will be. For example, according to List Keepers, the No. 1 funny way to answer the phone is: “City Morgue, you kill them, we relax ’em.” .

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Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine.

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Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone.

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Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further post thank you once again.

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1. If the reason I was calling you was to ask you what kind of music you like, this little interlude would be perfect. But let me assure you, the reason I was calling was NOT to ask you what kind of music you like.

  • professional voicemail greetings samples

    And then a whole generation of children grew up thinking that all mysteries have to involve monsters somehow. Judge_Deadd, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 15, 2003 Messages: 5,818 - Hello, you have reached the home of Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf. Who does not live here. No one lives here! This is all a big lie presented to you by the American infidels. You're not calling this number! Please leave a message after the beep, which by the way does not exist. - HEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH *click*

    9. The Skill Demonstrator. You may decide to demonstrate your skills through the voicemail message you leave your prospects. This works perfectly if you deal with selling your skills and expertise to your customers.
    3. (858) 651-5050: Beautiful phrases. When looking for random phone numbers to call, it does not get funkier than this one. Dialing this line allows you to listen to what sounds like the most well-thought poem ever written.

  • standard business voicemail greetings

    Free Voicemail & Answer Machine Messages › Discover The Best Education www.freefonefun.co.uk Education Use These Funny Messages To Customise Your Mobile Phone Voicemail.Or Use Them On Your Answer Machine At Home. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service.

    Here are some of the examples. ! Best Voicemail Greetings ! These voicemail greeting ideas will be your help to inform the callers that you are not available, you are doing something or you are out of the office. ! 1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I …
    5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

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    but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for but whatever you have to say to him, you can tell me. We're VERY close Bwana fella no home now, so you fella leave talkie-talk. Bwana 'im big fella mek talkie-talk back real fas'.

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    2. Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number. It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers.

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    The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA!

    -Hi, this is ______. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
    I like to think I’m my own comedic genius. My greetings don’t have profession quality sound but they get the job done. Try exercising your creativity before using canned comedy. Campus Life Off Campus Opinion Politics Science & Technology Sports Business Cinema Corner

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6. I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.

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Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!

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“First, I am a big fan of the belt and suspender method,” she says. “So, the office would call; if the person is not there, the voice mail message is brief and is followed immediately with an email with all of the details.”

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