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Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate?

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Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore.
After hours of brainstorming and countless redos, area man Tom Fulton finally recorded the perfect joke voicemail that no other person will ever bother listening to. .

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It starts off pretty normal until Jimmy witnesses said car accident while speaking:
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Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
5. Check your voicemail inbox. Once you're in your voicemail system, you may have to do things slightly differently than how they're done in this tutorial, depending on your telecom carrier and/or voicemail client.

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Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.

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    Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee’s voicemail), it doesn’t preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.
    Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost your voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.

  • free professional voicemail greetings

    I’m home right now . . . I’m just screening my calls. So just start talking and if you’re someone I want to speak to I’ll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

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    -Hey! Sorry I missed your call. If you’re a telemarketer, then I’m definitely not sorry. If you’re not a telemarketer, then I’ll return your call as soon as possible.

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    There are some people who tend to judge your work according to your voicemail greeting. In this article, we tell you what are the best ways to draft your voicemail message.

    Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
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    Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera.

    Mom… Dad. I know you are mad that I’m never home to take your calls. So, as a solution to this, I think you guys should give me an early birthday present: a cell phone. beep.
    While deciding on a greeting remember that while it is important to be friendly, do not try to be cute or overtly sweet. It is not necessary to state the obvious details. It may be a good idea to change your voicemail message as often as possible. Also if you are recording a message for a business organization, it is important to let the caller know how to skip the message that is playing. If it is possible then giving an alternate number where the caller can reach you is always a great idea. Given later in this article are some examples.

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Does your salon offer Online Bookings? If so, slip that information in your recording. Drive bookings IN. Here’s why Online Bookings are the biggest opportunity you’re missed out on if you don’t offer them.

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Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message. Here are Best witty voice mail greetings ideas: My ass and I are out for a walk.

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Eight days ago she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's gone straight to voicemail ever since.

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