prerecorded business voicemail greetings

Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. best voicemail scripts for business A great way to incorporate a fun voicemail greeting in today’s age is re-writing the lyrics to a current billboard topping hit. Ellen DeGeneres did just that when she asked Adele for a little favor; to sing a little ditty inspired by the number one song, “Hello.” A monotone voice can be a turn off for a caller. You want your caller to feel like they missed out on speaking with you — not like they dodged a bullet. . ideas for business voicemail greetings "Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can." These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? what is the best voice message No28: Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me? No29: We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again. Again, “sell to me”, “feel comfortable”. I want their subconscious to hear me say, speaking of which, I found a lot of sellers who reached out to us are just wondering when we're going to try and pull the wool over their eyes or whether the up to something scammy, so I like to just drop in indications that we understand that they're a little nervous about this and the whole transaction is going to be handled by a licensed attorney and a local title company, no kitchen table closings, so everything is being done above board. what is personal voicemail greeting "SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep." business voicemail greetings examples best personal voicemail greeting examples personal phone message greeting what is a voice message on facebook free professional voicemail greetings samples what is the proper greeting for ramadan voicemail funny greetings funny personal voicemail greeting examples how to call xfinity voicemail what is the proper greeting for eid al fitr free business voicemail greetings mp3 best voicemail app for android 2018 7 best business voicemail greetings 2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project. funny voicemail greetings tik tok There are plenty of options for business voicemail messages, including professional greetings, casual messages, and even funny ones. Consider your brand voice and target audience to choose the tone. And include directions for those who call. 40. Hi, I’m not in right now, but if you leave a detailed message I’ll call you back promptly. Using humor is appropriate in some situations, but humor should be avoided in situations including serious businesses where reputations could be damaged or people could become upset. Both funny and sincere examples are included for a variety of options. These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones. Hi, you've reached ___-____. Please leave a message and I'll get back with you soon. Thanks. You know what to do. Thanks for calling. Just leave a message and we’ll get back with you. We’re sorry we can’t answer the phone right now, but we would love to get back with you as soon as we can. Just let us know what we can help you with and leave a number for us to get back with you soon. You've reached the voice mail of ______. I'm either away from my phone or talking with someone else. Leave me a message and I'll be happy to return your call. Hi. I must be away from my phone at the moment. Please leave me a message. I'll get back to you. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone. It's always a good idea to let callers know exactly when their calls may be returned and to list the operating hours. how to put a voice message on my lg phone Voices.com connects you with over 200,000 voice talents. The artist will send you an audition and an estimated quote to complete the work. Once you listen to all auditions, you select your talent to begin the project. Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me. Tee Hee! Leave a message? https://soundcloud.com/phorest-salon-software/sets/phorest-salon-software-salon-voicemail-messages-examples funny greetings for your phone Ok Yes. This voicemail script is definitely what I would like to use in my upward movement in securing motivated sellers. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again. funny greetings for valentines day #3 “Hey this is Bryan, I’d tell you what to do at the beep, but I’m pretty sure you already know what to do. So yeah, just do it.” In the new HBO documentary Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind, Billy Crystal, fellow comedian and decades-long friend of Robin Williams, opens up about his bond with the late comedian, including a series of voicemails that I'm leaving you this message because it's the fastest way for my heart to reach yours. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and the reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you want. But you can tell me all of that in the message you Be Part Of Our Story! how to leave a formal voice message Virtual events are very much like many other kinds of meetings; only they take place over the internet. This technology allows visitors and businesses to collaborate, share information, connect with... short and professional voicemail greetings His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Just kidding. how to make a voice message I have a confession to make: I haven’t recorded a new voicemail greeting since 2014. In the past four years, I (hopefully) have become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you’d think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority. Obviously I need toupdate it. And if you haven’t changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you’re likely in the same boat. After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever’s listening to it to continue the relationship. A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction. With that in mind, I’ve written 18 unique voicemail greetings for every situation. Pick your favorite, practice a few times, then record your new voicemail. Contact Us “You’ve reached Bernice’s phone. I’m getting a tooth pulled on Tuesday and don’t feel like talking. In fact, I’ll probably sleep for about four days after the procedure. Tooth resorption is not a joke, friends. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let your human brush your damn teeth, even if it feels like you’re about to DIE by way of tiny toothbrush. Also, I’ll be accepting gifts of gravy in the days following the extraction.” Send Message Create an account. I agree to the license terms. Sign Up You already have an account? Login here. how to save voice message from messenger Voicemail Funny Greetings For Your Phone Ideas Cell Phones 2 Business Answering Machine Greetings Tips Messages Closed Funny Voicemails Witty Answer Phone Messages Mp3 Voicemail Funny Voicemail Messages 9 Images Greeting Ideas Good Random Numbers To Give People Or Call When Bored Free Funny If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again. I can voice a custom voicemail greeting to fit your corporate, small business, or personal phone. Make your phone greeting stand out to your callers with a professional voiceover for whatever you need said, including prompts for extensions and personalize each line with a name or department. Whatever holiday voicemail greeting for business you decide to create for your office will definitely fall on your own personality, taste and environment. Just remember to follow some simple rules and to remain professional, you wouldn’t want to scare callers away without even a chance to speak to them directly! The Holidays offer a unique opportunity to extend the person ability of our greetings even further, and you never know, might just help you land your next deal. 17. Hi, this is [your name] at [X Business Name]. Our office is currently closed, but I’ll be back in the office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Feel free to leave a message or send me an email at [email address], and I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible. If you like what you see, please leave a donation through PayPal (PayPal Account not required, Credit Cards Accepted). ! best voicemail for sales funny voicemail recording voicemail funny greetings Close Project phone greeting template Leaving a voicemail can still be a good way to grab the attention of a potential new customer. However, when it comes to leaving a voicemail, you only have a few seconds to actually grab the listener's attention. Most salespeople screw this up by leaving too much information and making themselves sound like a salesperson, which is the kiss of death when leaving a voicemail. Have you ever wondered how many clients you might have lost out because of using a salon voicemail? The goal is to drive customers in, not away. So after chatting with some of our salon training staff that have been in the industry for years now, we’ve put together some messages that will guarantee you bookings. Please hang up, and check the number, and dial again, and your card number, and check the number again, and ask information operator for assistance for fifteen minutes, and deposit 40 cents. 3. Funny Examples of Voicemail Messages. These can be used to play tricks on people on April fools day or for any other reason. Use with discretion. If you don't have a time machine, please leave a message and I'll get back with you in the future. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsAccept OK, so I follow all the instructions that come with the machine.I pressed all the necessary buttons.So...now what?I...am...so...confused.Trouble you....Hi, you have arrived at the answering machine (name.He/she is not at the moment, but I am totally open to suggestions. personal greeting messages for voicemail best voicemail examples how to create a personal voicemail greeting Close Project how to call directly to voicemail verizon “Hi, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m away from[date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I’ll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day.” “Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,’ or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won’t be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I’ll get in touch then.” “Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I’m out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker’s name] at [email address]. [He, she] can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you.” funny voicemail greetings clean Now I lay me down to sleep; leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape. 3. The Value. Only your mom will call you back for something you want. Everyone else wants to know what it’s worth their time. At Factor 8 we like the term, SWIIFT℠ So, What’s In It for Them? This is a magic voicemail message. Leave a message. Leave a message at the beep. Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance. 2. The Mystery. A mysterious voicemail leaves the listener wondering what the call is about and plays to our fear of loss and FOMO. What if something’s wrong w/ my account? 9. 212-479-7990: You have been rejected. You met an exciting new person, asked for their phone number, and got it. But when you called, it was not them on the line. personal voicemail greeting funny funny voicemail message having a funny voicemail message is a good idea because it shows the employer your sense of humor Close Project free greeting messages for voicemail “You’ve obviously reached this message in error because I don’t want to talk to you or anyone else for that matter. Now go lick your butt or something.” “Hello, My Name is Angie, and I’m a Cat-Huffer” Cats and Bags: 2 Very Important Scientific Experiments The Pros and Cons of My Cats as Health Care Providers It was funny the first time it got you, and then it was not funny the next 8,306 times. – I wish I was available to take your important call but, you see, I’m trying to do a lot of things that just can’t get done when I’m talking on the phone. Please leave your name and number and I’ll try and call you back if everything gets done. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!]. You’ve reached us outside of business hours. Please select from one of the following options: [for business hours press 1; to leave a message press 2; if this is an emergency, press 0 to be directed to our 24-hour customer success team.] We are grateful for your call and we look forward to speaking with you soon! Website: https://talkroute.com/12-fun-professional-business-voicemail-greetings/ Want to snag it (even as a starting point) so you don't have to go back through that video and type the whole freaking thing out? funny greetings for wedding anniversary what does default iphone greeting sound like funny voicemail voices Close Project funny greetings for new year A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't want them irritated by your voicemail message. Here are 5 examples of funny phone greetings, and why you shouldn't use them on your cell. – Thanks for calling. This is (name). Today is a Friday and I am working from our corporate office. If you need to reach me immediately, please call (number). Otherwise, please leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. A good voicemail greeting is short and professional, lets people know that you’ll get back to them, and invites callers to continue engaging with a call-to-action. You should also show your personality if you’re in an industry or role that allows that. If your industry is more conservative, however, you’ll want to keep humor and personal touches to a minimum. A greeting Your name Your company A simple explanation for missing the call (e.g. you’re away from the phone or are on holiday) A rough estimate of when you’ll get back to the person An alternative person to reach out to (if you’re out of office) An alternative mode of communication (if you prefer email or text) A call-to-action such as “Leave a message” or “Send me an email at [email protected]” If you’re busy and can’t get to the phone, make sure your answering machine or voice mail greets the guest with a professional message before the third ring (see the later section, “Relying on answering machines or voice-mail systems” for details). from Running a Bed and Breakfast For Dummies by Mary White Wiley, 2009 Wondering what to say in your business voicemail greetings? Read on to learn how to record a good voicemail that is professional (or funny) to encourage callers to leave a message. So, if you’re looking for a fun way to spice up your personal telephone’s outgoing message, we have listed 10 celebrities that have contributed to funny voicemail greetings for your callers’ amusement. professional voicemail greetings for your cell phone common business voicemail greetings funny greetings for sister birthday Close Project funny greetings for birthday tagalog Website: https://grasshopper.com/blog/perfect-voicemail-greetings-10-tips-for-recording-effective-and-professional-messages-plus-examples/ 10 Voicemail Greeting Scripts. Now that you know the principles of our voicemail greeting philosophy, it is time to take a closer look at some standard and best-practice examples you can use for your business. Not all of these example scripts serve the same purpose. Website: https://rentrenew.weebly.com/blog/funny-answering-machine-greetings-mp3 Be innocent and coy one time, and more in-your-face with the next voice note. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! By Michele Meleen Counselor. Cute Messages. Going to voicemail doesn't need to make you stop in your tracks and panic.Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? These voicemail ideas may not come so easily for some of you. And who says that finding inspiration is a bad thing. It has to be different and contain some kind of style. 18. Hello, you’ve reached the voicemail box for [employee name] at [company name]. [Employee first name] has moved onto a different position, but our new [job title, employee name] will be happy to assist you. Please call [number, extension] or leave a message here and a representative will get back to you. linkedin voice message funny what is the proper greeting for eid al fitr how to do a cheek kiss greeting Close Project X