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Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?
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I love the thought process and NLP language put into the script. Very smart & clever!
Woman Breaks Down How To Shut Down Men Asking For Your Number With Fake Voicemail - FAIL Blog - Funny Fails
Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. I’m either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if I’m really lucky, I’m out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!
Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone."
Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner. Professional voicemails are important, because they’re an extension of your personal brand, reflecting what level of professionalism you offer. Use these voicemail greetings for work or personal cell phone messages […]
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Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?…long pause and beep sound.
We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator.
Here’s another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:
There is a difference between business and personal voicemail content. In this slide presentation will learn useful tips in developing and recording both types of voice greetings. The Making of a Professional Cell Phone Voicemail Greeting September 27, 2011 Katie Devlin resources, tips, greetings
On Air Recordings recommends you order professional voicemail greetings through their site, then describe the tone, approach, or voice direction you’re going for.
Or I Send You Straight To Voicemail Because I Don T Want To Listen To You Talk About Yourself For An Hour Ecards Funny Someecards E Cards
Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.
There’s one old woman with a little black purse tomahawking him. She looks like a…jackhammer. We got another woman that’s hitting him like she’s got a cattle prod. She’s got an umbrella she’s sticking it in his side.