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9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

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“Hi. This is (name). If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money. Bye!”
No49: This is the National Security Emergency Password Notification Network. To initiate destruct sequence, call the CIA with today's password. Today's password is BABY BOOTIES. .

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If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.
Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.

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17. Hi, this is [your name] at [X Business Name]. Our office is currently closed, but I’ll be back in the office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Feel free to leave a message or send me an email at [email address], and I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.
This is it. If you are not satisfied with the custom voicemail greeting, then follow the same steps and do it again.

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Leaving a voicemail can still be a good way to grab the attention of a potential new customer. However, when it comes to leaving a voicemail, you only have a few seconds to actually grab the listener's attention. Most salespeople screw this up by leaving too much information and making themselves sound like a salesperson, which is the kiss of death when leaving a voicemail.

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    Does your salon offer Online Bookings? If so, slip that information in your recording. Drive bookings IN. Here’s why Online Bookings are the biggest opportunity you’re missed out on if you don’t offer them.

    Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So... Leave your name and number and tell us where YOU saw Elvis!
    You can customize each greeting for each phone number within your OpenPhone account. In addition, you can change it as often as you need.

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    A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't... 5 Steps to Creating an Audio eGreeting Card December 06, 2011 Juli Durante marketing, tips, greetings

    Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! I'm not available right now, but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
    So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

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    We use cookies and tracking technologies to offer you a better browsing experience, analyze site traffic, and improve the website. By clicking “Accept Cookies”, you expressly agree to our use of cookies and tracking technologies in accordance with our Cookie Policy. If you wish to prevent your data from being used by Google Analytics you can opt-out below. Accept Cookies Google Analytics Opt-Out Log In | Request Account Subscribe to e-Alerts LinkedIn YouTube Facebook Instagram Twitter Who We Serve Products Solutions & Services About Us Insights & Publications Account The AmerisourceBergen Network LinkedIn YouTube Facebook Instagram Twitter December 13, 2017 The Ideal Voicemail Message By Roxanne Hawn Strategies for connecting and moving the conversation forward

    This is a hilarious wrong number message I got on my answering machine voicemail today. This is a hilarious wrong number message I got on my answering machine voicemail today.
    -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

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    The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.

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    No42: A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.

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Funny e-mail forwards, jokes, silly stuff and more. Visit often for the latest funny e-mails!

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For some of you, the idea of these voicemail may not be easy.Who says it's a bad thing to find inspiration.It\'s natural;Not everyone has an interesting bone inside.

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What is the recorded message that the seller listens/responds to when s/he calls the number on your postcard?

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