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IT STARTED OUT just like any normal day for … let’s call him Jimmy* … but little did he know he was destined to witness a group of old ladies beat up a man who had just crashed into them, with pepper spray, an umbrella and a bible!

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When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.
“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.” .

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Website: https://talkroute.com/12-fun-professional-business-voicemail-greetings/
OK, so I follow all the instructions that come with the machine.I pressed all the necessary buttons.So...now what?I...am...so...confused.Trouble you....Hi, you have arrived at the answering machine (name.He/she is not at the moment, but I am totally open to suggestions.

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41 Funniest Voicemail Greetings in the World. Many years ago, in a time before cell phones (Yes it exists, and I remember it!) I used to get inundated with phone calls to my landline at all times of day and night.
With a good voicemail message that lets people know who you are and what they need to do to contact you, you can return the

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2. The Simpsons Share a Funny Answering Greeting. If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.

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>Check out these great Christmas voice mail message ideas from the folks at Smart on Hold

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    A man calls wanting help with a dead, frozen, road-killed cat that someone left on his doorstep sometime during the night.
    Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

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    Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message.

    Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it! Corny jokes like this don't work anymore...and won't work in your voicemail greeting. Saying things like, "Hello, you've reach the machine that lives inside Mark's cell phone. Leave a message and I'll tell him!" are really unappealing and aren't even funny.
    You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"

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    3. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

    23. "Happy holidays! [I'm, the team at X company is] away until [date]. We'll make sure to call you back straight away when we return. If your request is urgent, email [emergency contact] at [email address]. Thanks, and have a wonderful day."
    1. The Celebrity Greeting. Hello! If you are [insert celebrity crush or famous person], call my personal line. You know what number that is. Wink wink. The President is not in the office.

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    Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Leave a message at the beep.

    Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!]. You’ve reached us outside of business hours. Please select from one of the following options: [for business hours press 1; to leave a message press 2; if this is an emergency, press 0 to be directed to our 24-hour customer success team.] We are grateful for your call and we look forward to speaking with you soon!
    My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

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– Thank you for calling (name of the company). If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 8 to access our fax on-demand system. Press 9 for a company directory, or press 0 for the operator.

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8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.

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Free funny ringtones for mobile phones. Download best comedy ringtones for your Android Phone or iPhone. Free-Mobi Ringtones - Free mobile content.

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Keep in mind that your trying to come across as a professional business or brand in Fort Worth. Most of the time you can hire a trusted voiceover guy like Mark right here on this site. If you want to try to make your own business voicemail greeting, or even just one for your own personal phone, here are some tips.

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