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Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
“In case you have forgotten, this is a machine – my owner does not want siding, the newspaper, or the carpets cleaned. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave a message and we’ll see if he calls you back.”
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prerecorded business voicemail greetings
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
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Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
Typical voicemail greetings usually start with a hi, tell you they are not home, to leave a message, and that they’ll call you back. However, there are people who shook it up a little bit and came up with witty and funny voicemail greetings that are not your norm. If you are looking for a creative way on how to add spice to your boring voicemail greetings and make it a hit, these funniest voicemail greetings will not just make you chuckle, but they will give you cool ideas on what to make on yours. Get ready to laugh as we start the countdown. Share on Facebook
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No22: Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
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A voicemail and voicemail greeting are two different things. A voicemail serves to leave a message and contact information to an individual or business. A voicemail greeting serves to welcome those who call while you are out, encouraging them to leave a message and contact information. A well-crafted voicemail greeting also serves as a tool where one can leave a good first impression.
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#2 “Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message at the beep. Like you needed me to tell you that, right? I mean, how many times have you done this? You already know what to do.”
– I wish I was available to take your important call but, you see, I’m trying to do a lot of things that just can’t get done when I’m talking on the phone. Please leave your name and number and I’ll try and call you back if everything gets done.
Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks.
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Professional voicemail greetings for work can be critical for giving your business a good level of credibility. By using one of our ready-made messages, you can save yourself time and impress the other party.
Only a handful of voiceover actors could possibly bring this dramatic message to your voicemail. Click here to hear how it sounds with cinematic, adrenaline pumping music in the background. Save the funny voicemail greetings for your home phone, and let us handle your business phone
It can help to rough out a script to start each message that includes your name and the name of the practice, so that it’s clear right away who called. If you need a reply urgently, say that right away, too, since the person may not listen to the whole message.
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As you can see by reading our article on how to write the best voicemail greetings, they’re a bit more complex than one might imagine. There are important elements that cannot be left out, as to do so could cost you valuable business contacts. We realize this, so have included a selection of more funny, professional, and personal greeting examples, in MS Word and PDF format. By using these voicemail greetings, you’ll be well on your way to craft a greeting that will be pleasant to hear, provide the correct information, as well as requesting the correct information.
So, if you’re looking for a fun way to spice up your personal telephone’s outgoing message, we have listed 10 celebrities that have contributed to funny voicemail greetings for your callers’ amusement.
This is the WORST. VOICE MAIL. GREETING. EVER. I laughed when Tyler mentioned it on his blog last week, because I had just been talking about it with a friend the week before.
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#3 “Hey this is Bryan, I’d tell you what to do at the beep, but I’m pretty sure you already know what to do. So yeah, just do it.”
Interesting Voicemail Greeting Examples to Cheer Up Your Callers Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages. Here are a few examples of voicemail greetings to get an idea about appropriate messages that can be recorded the …
“In a world where the person you are trying to reach can’t answer the phone… there’s only one choice. Leave a message.”
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With my cell phone in my hand and her watching her show. I asked her if she could get me a beer and she said no. Then her cell phone rang in the kitchen and she quickly got up to see what it was. My message said while you're in the kitchen can you get me a beer. I don't remember the rest
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No36: Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks. No37: I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you.
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I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to break the record for "the most calls missed" if it's a emergency or your dieing or something, please hold on till the record is broken, and I will call you back.
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Hi, thanks for calling the residence of the Jennings Family. As you can tell, no one’s home to answer your call, but just leave your name, number and message and we’ll get back as soon as we can. Thanks
funny voicemail transcriptions
Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.
CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.
1. Funny Answering Greeting from Seinfeld. Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages. Mp3 previews are low resolution the purchased wav files are professional quality the same sound effects used in hundreds of. This video is unavailable. Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages ive put in for you guys.
7. My Visual Voicemail app. My Visual Voicemail app is the one that ends your search of looking for the best voicemail app for android 2019. The app is the right choice as a visual voicemail app, providing you with a great experience of accessing and checking upon your voicemails.
"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
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Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you! Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. What does your greeting have? Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality?
No10: (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP
personal voicemail greeting samples
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Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.
Mar 14, 2021 - Explore Eric Alexander's board "cell phone humor", followed by 3292 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, bones funny, phone humor.
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Concatenation of events preclude our coming to the phone. Please speak freely, with magniloquence upon occasion of the tone.
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4.) Keep your voicemail message to two points. If you need to share more information, then say in your voicemail that you’re going to send the person an e-mail message with the rest of the details. “… I’m calling to share that we have finalized the … and lastly, that we know you’d like to meet at 9:00 AM as we discussed. However, is Tuesday or Wednesday better for your team’s schedule? ….”
Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder.
Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
Well, I didn't see it. Can't imagine I'm the only one. Many of us don't live online. Reply Closed Thread Share Facebook Twitter Reddit Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -
Authors Topics About Contact Policy Home » Funny Voicemail Famous Quotes & Sayings Whatever mind can concieved and believe can be achieves — Napoleon Hill More Pictures » John Coffey was torn open by what he had done ... but he would live. The girls would not. They had been torn open in a more fundamental way. — Stephen King More Pictures » I like butter and the people who like butter. — Tori Amos When nature calls, I don't let it go to voicemail. — Nenia Campbell Life is a lot like skateboarding. — Lil' Wayne The Palestinians try hard to forget when they should remember.
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TheJournal.ie Business ETC The42 Search site Search Dublin: 14 °C Thursday 23 September, 2021 Homepage Celebs Ireland TV Skin Deep Chats Trending: beauty dear fifi Amazing voicemail describes old ladies beating man with umbrella Man crashes into a car full of old ladies and then they assault him. By Mark Farrelly Monday 8 Jul 2013, 7:00 PM Jul 8th 2013, 7:00 PM 19,958 Views 6 Comments https://dailyedge.ie/983270
My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.
Johnpaul MosesIn the REI game since Y2K, JP's deal-making adventures run the gamut from rehabs to rentals to realtoring to wholesaling—from REOs to lease options to seller financing to raw land. Many 100's of deals later, his active real estate game is played remotely today (from home) in various U.S. markets, and intentionally with the smallest team possible. The aim is high margins with the least possible time & effort. Less, but better. ‹ Previous Property Scouts—Viable for Leads in ‘White Hot’ Markets? Next › Driving for Dollars App 2.0—Cool Stuff Coming :-)
11. "Hi, you've reached [company]. Unfortunately, we're currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP."
In closing, this guide should highlight that the options for professional, friendly, interesting, impressive, and concise voicemail greetings are as broad as the imagination. Remember, the best business voicemail greetings are those that are equal parts useful to both the caller wanting a service and the recipient wanting to offer a service. So, ensure the content represents the brand and is engaging to the audience. Now, pick some favorites and give them a practice run. Related Blog Posts 5 Best VoIP Service Providers for Low-Cost International Calling in 20215 Tell-Tale Signs that Your VoIP System is Being HackedBest VoIP Providers for Making Cheap Calls to China in 20215 Google Voice Alternatives in 2021 that Add More Value to Your Business PhoneCompetitors to Vonage in 2021How To Send A Fax Through GmailOoma Login HelpmagicJack Login HelpmagicJack GO Setup: www.MJREG.com Install GuideThis Month in Telecom: January 2019
This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now.
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I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I can come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone now, recording this message, but I'm doing this now, while you're listening to it later, except for you I guess it's now, like, when you're listening to it ... now I'm confused ... leave a message and I'll explain later.
