No8: Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions. No9: Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.
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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. Tags: Behavior, Cats And Tech, Catster Home, Humor, Lists, Offbeat Subscribe View Sep 21 Sep 20 Sep 17 Sep 15 Load More Follow on Instagram Annie Butler Shirreffs Jackie Brown Shopping Guide Advertise Events Photo Booth Contact the Editors Meet the Team Subscribe My Account Pay My Bill Customer Service Privacy Policy DO NOT SELL MY INFORMATION
As video marketing continues to take top priority on marketers agendas, companies and brands are scrambling to find the resources and funds for this highly engaging and sought after digital content.
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Use a cute love quote to surprise your man with a sweet message or come up with your own creative idea. Movies are the perfect place to find cute love quotes and sayings because every word in the script is carefully crafted for an emotional response.
10. “You are gonna be my new phone buddy.” Many people tend to come in the list of your best pals. This might be a great way to take your friendship to a whole new level.
sample of business voicemail greetings
But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings. Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them.
The above eight rules of engagement for voicemail greetings may sound easy enough, but they’ll require some practice to get just right. Let’s look at some examples to provide some context in how to apply the rules to various types of greetings and situations.
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Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:
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5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
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Well, I didn't see it. Can't imagine I'm the only one. Many of us don't live online. Reply Closed Thread Share Facebook Twitter Reddit Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -
9. Queue Callback Message. What the caller hears when they request a callback from the queue. Sample Scripts: “You have requested to have the next available agent call you back from the queue.
Hi, this is Jackie, it hurts me inside to know I missed your call. Ouch. Leave your painful message after the beep.
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Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back. Hey, it’s me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don’t like. So if you’ve left me a message and I haven’t called you back, then it’s probably you. Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)’s answering machine. (Your name) is …
It can help to rough out a script to start each message that includes your name and the name of the practice, so that it’s clear right away who called. If you need a reply urgently, say that right away, too, since the person may not listen to the whole message.
Typically, a good business voicemail greeting should comprise the following elements: A warm greeting. Your name, the name of your company and department name. Make an apology for being unable to take the call. Ask the caller to leave a message. Let the caller know when to expect a return call.
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Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant’s attorney, Archie’s lawyer advises him that he has no case, as the other side’s witnesses are too strong. There’s an old legal precept, he informs Archie: “You can’t beat a station wagon full of nuns.”
Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
No4: Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
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Yes, I agree. It’s sad. But writing is a solitary activity, and I’m more of a people person. Even if the other person isn’t on the other end of the phone, it’s still nice to have someone to chat with. : )
Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So, leave your name and number and tell us where you saw Elvis!
Another way to make up funny voicemail messages is to act like a device has come alive. For instance, you could say,"Hello, I'm Bob's hair dryer, and I've taken over because I'm way more interesting. If you'd like to leave a message for him and have your hair dried at the same time, just hold up the phone." Answering like an answering machine, a microwave, or refrigerator and using the functions of that device in the answer are easy ways to create a fun voicemail.
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I actually get choked up when I think about how generous you are with the skills and knowledge you share. Thank you for a treasure trove of extremely valuable information.
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Another way to make up funny voicemail messages is to act like a device has come alive. For instance, you could say,"Hello, I'm Bob's hair dryer, and I've taken over because I'm way more interesting. If you'd like to leave a message for him and have your hair dried at the same time, just hold up the phone." Answering like an answering machine, a microwave, or refrigerator and using the functions of that device in the answer are easy ways to create a fun voicemail.
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Made famous by George Costanza as you can see the clip here, the answering machine song may seem like a good idea. It's out of the box, unexpected, and definitely a novelty, but unless you're in the music business, it's probably not a good idea. You'll definitely irritate your mother (or anyone else important who calls you frequently) and you won't make a good first impression with your message.
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I am on H1 & my H1 (& visa stamping) expires in Apr 2009. My wife has H4 stamped on her passport until Apr 2009. My wife got her H1 approved in 2008 lottery with permit to start work starting October Ist, 2008. We are planning to take cruise to Bermuda from sep 28-oct 5. I just wanted to know , a) will her H4 stamping be expired on October 5, 2008 , as her H1 will become effective? c) or if someone knows whether she needs a valid visa stamping in accordance with her latest immigration status (h1 in this case on oct 5 , 2008) when returning to US in cruise.
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No24: You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here’s some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.
10. Uncovering Competitor Info. When it comes to sales voicemail scripts, even the smallest details of a message significantly impact the response rates.
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording. Click here and listen on Youtube to what it would sound like if Mr. Jackson leant his voice to your voicemail recording.
48. Hello, you’ve reached [name] at [company name]. If you need help with [X reason], please contact [X person/X system] or [visit our website at X and send us an email]. For all other inquiries, please leave your name, phone number, and a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
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28. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I can’t come to the phone right now, probably because I’ve just stepped away from my desk, but possibly because I’m trapped under something heavy. Leave a message and I’ll call you back within one business day — and if I don’t, please send help.
5. Pre-Recorded Voicemail Drop Software. Leave Me Your Name, Number, And Reason For Call After The Beep. Call Me On Your New Number And I Will Try To Take Your Call.
Holy crap! I just found the recording of a fraternity brother's voicemail from college! I'll post EDIT: Right now... "Our new years resolution was to stay home more and answer our phone, but I guess we're not doing that. Leave a message after the beep " Choppy Prerecorded man's voice "Hello, Please leave a message after the tone " (verizon lady voice)- "Hello - 'Erik' (my voice) - is currently not available. Please leave a message after the tone. To leave a callback number press 5. " Sep 13, 2003 3,303 32 Its not so much where you are as when you are. I did that one once. Pissed the hell out of the telemarketers. See they have an autodialer which listens for the first bit of the phone call. If its something a person says then it hands the call to a person. For a while I also started answering the phone like an answering machine and got all sorts of people just hanging up on me. "Our new years resolution was to stay home more and answer our phone, but I guess we're not doing that. Leave a message after the beep " "Hello?......Hello?....I'm sorry, can you speak up please, I can barely here you....What's that?...I'm sorry, we're not home right now, please leave a message and we'll get back to you soon...." I like the "Hello? ", caught a few people talking to the answering machine with that one. "Hi mom, hi dad.. is not here." etc., etc.
Answering message 259. Search for jokes by keyword. Also see. Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages. Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages.
Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone. 29. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. 30. Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message.
hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007 agents if you get this machine we are probably saving the world this tape will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...1... (BEEP)
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A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……. This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes.
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No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.
“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”
A great way to incorporate a fun voicemail greeting in today’s age is re-writing the lyrics to a current billboard topping hit. Ellen DeGeneres did just that when she asked Adele for a little favor; to sing a little ditty inspired by the number one song, “Hello.”
Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.
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You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
Funny phrases when answering the phone. Answering the phone with funny phrases, like “talk to me” or “Yello”, is a classic. However, the more creative you are, the funnier you will be. For example, according to List Keepers, the No. 1 funny way to answer the phone is: “City Morgue, you kill them, we relax ’em.”
This is a true story: my friend's voicemail says, "Hi, you've reached Dave, I'm screening your call." My friend is a recent college graduate, currently searching for a job. While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.
“Hi there! You’ve reached [XYZ Company]. We are unable to take your call at the moment, but we want to hear what you have to say. Please leave your full name, contact details and reason for reaching out, and one of our staff members will get in touch with you within 24 hours. Thanks!”
Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!]. You’ve reached us outside of business hours. Please select from one of the following options: [for business hours press 1; to leave a message press 2; if this is an emergency, press 0 to be directed to our 24-hour customer success team.] We are grateful for your call and we look forward to speaking with you soon!
I did one once where I just said "hello?" - then paused for a few seconds and continued ... Quite a few people said they started talking before being interrupted by me telling them to leave a message!
A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
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Aside from the fact that we can't substantiate a bit of this, of course, the one thing that seems fishy to me is that he's able to not only pick out that she hit him with a Bible (which, depending on his vantage point, I guess he could see - or at least think he sees), but he's able to say which version of the Bible it is. That's awfully odd to me.
All content protected under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Content theft, either print or electronic, is a Federal offense. SERVICES Overview Greetings Voice Prompts Message On Hold PRICING STANDARD PRICING Greetings & Prompts Message On Hold PLANS & PACKAGES Word Credits Message On Hold Plans SOLUTIONS Cloud PBX Recordings IVR Recordings Call Center Recordings EXAMPLES Voices Music By Industry Scripts RESOURCES TOOLS Quoting Calculator Word Estimation Calculator Audio Converter RESOURCES How It Works Contact Us Blog Knowledge Base FAQ PARTNERS Programs Service Providers Resellers SIGN IN GET STARTED Tweet Creating solid business voicemail greetings requires a little finesse. You want to make the best impression and set the right tone. However, sometimes you need to break from the norm and create business voicemails that will do some of the work for you. Whether you are dealing with frustrated callers, want to further promote your business, or have important info to share, here are the top 8 voicemail greetings and sample voicemail scripts your business should consider.
Many busy businesses utilize auto attendant greetings to make a great first impression, however, if your business relies on the personal touch of a live receptionist, it is important to have a plan in place when that position is unstaffed. Make sure your voicemail greeting contains the useful information that your receptionist would normally provide. This could include: location & directions, office hours, website URL, or social media info, as well as any pertinent company information.
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Hi! I seem to be in the room, but I can’t quite locate my phone at the moment. If you leave a message and number, I’ll ring you up whenever I find it, or if you happen to know where I left it, let me know!
Greetings. You’ve reached the office of [Name]. I’m either out of the office or gone for the day. However, your call is extremely import to me, so I’d appreciate it if you’d leave your message, along with your contact information, at the sound of the beep. Thank you for your call.
