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Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
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“Hi, you’ve called [name] at [XYZ company]. I’m currently busy [hiking through a rainforest, exploring China, climbing Mount Peru etc.] and so I can’t take your call right now. I won’t be back in the office until [date] and I look forward to hearing from you then.
Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... Don't even think about it! Don't!

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Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it.
She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.

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  • funny voicemail greetings examples

    13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers

    Katharine Hepburn’s iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting. Click here to hear how Hepburn brings these words to life.
    In other words, voice mail isn’t dead yet for veterinarians. Let’s consider strategies to make your voice mail messages effective. Always strive to move the conversation forward, even if that’s simply to let clients know: The best times to reach you When you’ll try to call again How to connect with you in other ways (email or text message)

  • fun business voicemail greetings

    Funny, the majority of us have a phone on us more hours of the day than not, but actually we’re harder to talk to than ever. On personal calls, and especially business calls, you’re much more likely to reach voicemail than the actual person you’re hoping to engage in conversation.

    I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).
    7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

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    No48: You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do.
    I've assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown.

  • funny professional voicemail greetings

    The Israelis make sure that they remain the only victims. — Suad Amiry One girl raved about a nice voicemail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: 'Hey, Lydia. It's Sam. Just calling to say what's up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.'

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    22. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m currently away from my phone. I return calls on Tuesday and Friday at 10 a.m. Please leave a detailed message including your name and a callback number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

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short funny voicemail ideas

Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up after and we tell each other everything.

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But then the bag flies open and among the contents that fall out is a bible. So she pick’s it up and starts to pummel the man with that too.

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2. Voxist. Voxist is one of the great visual voicemail that allows users to manage voicemails conveniently and smoothly, anywhere they go, and also let them read transcribed voicemail messages.

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