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Cats don’t enjoy following anyone’s rules. They want everything on their own terms — total rebels. If they had their own phones and could speak like humans (stay with me), they’d definitely screen their calls, because they want to be the ones to decide when they chat with others. And no one would tell them what to say in their voicemail greetings, either. Guidelines are for suckers.

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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine. .

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I am not home to talk to you, But please don't be a creep. Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the...

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Cash Me Outside. Donald Trump - Donate to the Wall. Thank You For Holding. Hillary - Delete My Emails. Pokemon Go.
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....

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No1: Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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This is a great message. It tells me everything that could go wrong with voice messages. Where’s the name? Company? Reason for calling? Solution? Reason to call back? Couldn’t you at least get the name of the person at the front desk? This message is an automatic delete!

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    No3: Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

    No28: Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me? No29: We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.
    Traditionally, businesses send out greeting cards or eGreeting cards during the holiday season. While this is a great approach, you shouldn't wait around for the winter holidays to tell let your clients know you're thinking of them! Keeping in touch with your clients throughout the year is a... 7 Elements of a Real Estate Professional's Voicemail Greeting May 17, 2012 Juli Durante real estate, script samples, greetings

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    Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up and after we will tell each other everything.

    7. 605–475–6958: How to decide whether you are sober. Are you unable to tell whether you are drunk or sober? (that should be a hint in itself.) Feel free to enlist the help of the Sobriety Test hotline.
    Useless Facts [140+ Facts You Can Impress Your Friends]89 Church Bulletin Bloopers (to Make You Smile)Things to Ponder [66 hilarious things to ponder about!]21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) MessagesIf Microsoft Built Cars36 Stuff To Ponder [They are all weird and hilarious]17 Weird Library Reference Questions12 completely obvious and useless quotesCursed McDonald’s Fries CosplayEmployees must stop crying before returning to work

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    A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't want them irritated by your voicemail message. Here are 5 examples of funny phone greetings, and why you shouldn't use them on your cell.

    iPhone 8 / SE (2020)Galaxy S8iPhone 8 PlusiPhone XSGalaxy S7iPhone 6iPhone 6 PlusiPhone XiPhone XS MaxiPhone XRiPhone 11iPhone 11 ProiPhone 11 Pro MaxiPhone 12iPhone 12 miniiPhone 12 ProiPhone 12 Pro MaxiPhone 7iPhone 7 Plus
    5. I checked my final recording by listening to my voicemail message fr om both a cell phone and a landline, and also asked a friend to listen for a second opinion. My new voicemail greeting: My new personal voice message recording sounds clear, concise and sophisticated.

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    "Hey it's _____, and it's either I'm ignoring your call or I really can't get to the phone. Leave a message."

    -Hey you all, thanks for calling me today. It will be super nice if you would leave me a special and kind message so I’m encouraged to call you back.
    5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].

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Avoid These 3 Voicemail Mishaps When Job SearchingAvoid these scenarios with your voicemail during your job search.

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The most romantic love quotes, mixed in with famous quotes and funny quotes. A collection of romantic love quotes to inspire your romance an... A large collection of famous, beautiful, inspirational love quotes. romantic weekend ideas, romantic gifts, romantic b...

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1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘ double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.']

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