"Originally posted by Katsumoru: And my dad is an astronaut and gave my car a rocket engine.It's not bull****, just too fast to see." "Originally posted by Menace: my dad works for nasa and has a laser detector that reflects the laser back at the cop and makes his gun explode." "Originally posted by ClawHammer: STI's are handed down by god himself, NOTHING is faster then an STI."
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A good cell phone voice mail greeting is clear, courteous and to the point. Enunciate, don't mumble, to make it as easy as possible for those with poor hearing or bad connections to be able to hear your greeting. Be polite, and save swearing for the conversation, if applicable.
1. The Lever. A lever is a bit of information that shows you know what you’re talking about and how to leave a message in a way that convinces them this isn’t a cold call.
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Hello, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Harold Tweed. I can’t come to the phone right now; please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. If this is an emergency, please contact either my personal assistant at 555-555-2345 or myself at 555-555-3234 and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call.
Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:
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In your greeting, get to the point, and keep it concise. A Little Humor Goes a Long Way. If your greeting displays a lighthearted warmth, that is great as it puts a personal spin on your business and lends personality to your brand. But make sure that your humor is professional and appropriate.
He’s hit him in the head with the bible. She picked the bible up and lifted it way over her head…and she’s still beating the hell out of this guy. She picked this bible up and raised it above her head and beamed the guy.
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YES. I'm happy to also share my ‘we buy houses' voicemail script with you…a time-tested, proven motivated seller voicemail script I crafted and fine-tuned for 18+ years now.
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Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
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Free Pre Recorded Voicemail Messages › Best Education From www.studyeducation.org Education We provide free recorded voicemail greetings: The best way to greet your callers—and create a stunning im pre ssion—is with a professional, pre - recorded voice message. AccessDirect’s professional, pre - recorded voicemail greeting tells customers that you are a serious business—every time
nothing too crazy in terms of actual content, but my brother and i recorded our message in irish accents a while back, which was quite fun. we fooled plenty of people (i'm sure had any true irish folk called, they'd have vomited at the poor accent impersonations!) Aug 1, 2004 19,801 8 The City of Culture, Englandshire I did one once where I just said "hello?" - then paused for a few seconds and continued ... Quite a few people said they started talking before being interrupted by me telling them to leave a message! I've heard messages like that before although they've kept on saying "hello?" a few times (louder and louder) to make you think that they've actually answered the phone but they can't hear you.
9. “HELLO, OH No, the voices are back again!” This made me laugh too. Imagine how your fellow caller will laugh! Again, only your friends or people in other close circles will get you; otherwise, it is not a very friendly way to answer the phone call.
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6. The Referral. A referral sales voicemail works when you are referred to a client by a third party. If you are reaching out to a prospect you haven’t spoken with, you might start by mentioning that you were referred before clearly stating the intention of your voicemail message.
Hello, Mom. Good morning! But if you think about it as a day of fun and learning, you will have so much energy and enthusiasm to wing whatever this day will drop in on you. Seize the day! Take your sweet time. Make sure that your hair is freshly washed and fabulously blown out. Did you know that every minute, a person posts a motivational or inspiring quote that they do not live by? So, is it, Mom? Oh, good morning, by the way! Trust me, Mom. When I woke up this morning, I really had no plans of being drop dead gorgeous, insanely witty, and hopelessly charming.
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What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes recording, tweaking, and uploading voicemail …
Background noise can make it hard for the person calling in to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around when you record your message!
IT STARTED OUT just like any normal day for … let’s call him Jimmy* … but little did he know he was destined to witness a group of old ladies beat up a man who had just crashed into them, with pepper spray, an umbrella and a bible!
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Transfer a new answering message to your cell phone over the Internet with great sound quality. Find funny phone messages on PhoneMessage.com and transfer them to your cell phone for free.
nothing too crazy in terms of actual content, but my brother and i recorded our message in irish accents a while back, which was quite fun. we fooled plenty of people (i'm sure had any true irish folk called, they'd have vomited at the poor accent impersonations!) Aug 1, 2004 19,801 8 The City of Culture, Englandshire I did one once where I just said "hello?" - then paused for a few seconds and continued ... Quite a few people said they started talking before being interrupted by me telling them to leave a message! I've heard messages like that before although they've kept on saying "hello?" a few times (louder and louder) to make you think that they've actually answered the phone but they can't hear you.
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Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it.
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Greetings this is Egor… Answer 26 File size 15kb Harry Connick JR. Hi, this is… Answer 27 File size 66kb Hello, hello, oh hi… Answer 28 File size 38kb Audrey Hepburn. I’m answering this phone for my… Answer 29 File size 17kb Hello, i’m home right now but… Answer 30 File size 51kb Boris Karloff. I’m frightfully sorry…
10. “You are gonna be my new phone buddy.” Many people tend to come in the list of your best pals. This might be a great way to take your friendship to a whole new level.
My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……. This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
Thanks for sharing, It describes about Numerical limit not apply during Quarter which means spillover should occur quarterly. I don't think they follow that today.
10. Introduce Yourself Like a Hollywood Blockbuster. If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you.
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So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been?
Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.
Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder.
Hi, you’ve reached the home of [name]. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional.
The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected] ].
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39. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m not at my desk right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.
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I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.
Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY — Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he’s still out there somewhere. So . . . leave your name and number and tell us where *YOU* saw Elvis!
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].
"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
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Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
-Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep-
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“This is not a voice-mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”
Recording the message yourself doesn’t mean it can’t be done professionally. You can still get studio time with an experienced audio engineer. Studio time can cost $60-$100 per hour, which may or may not come with an engineer. If you need to hire one, their rates are usually $100-$300 an hour. Mind you, their feedback, professional experience, and editing capabilities are typically well worth the extra expense.
The first call is from a man that looked in the yellow pages under the pest control category and decided that we looked like the right people to call to report that 3 men were throwing a dead goat into a dumpster.
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Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on
8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.
Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?…long pause and beep sound.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly. What's the funniest/coolest/cleverest/favorite Answering Machine/Voicemail/Answerphone Messages you've heard, or even done yourself? In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did...
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These guys do it all. They have a voice-over service (including writing the greeting script) and transfer the greeting to your phone in super high quality. I couldn’t find anything better online anywhere. https://www.okcvideoproduction.com/record-high-quality-voicemail-greeting Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Check out all posts
After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server.
Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hi, this is _____. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hello, this is _____. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message.
That is the funniest voice mail I’ve ever heard. If that is a real voice mail I would say that rep needs some serious training. I work for a direct seed company and all of our work is over the telephone. Here is a sample of a voice mail that I might leave: “This is Mike with XXXX Seed. I’m calling for a couple of reasons: First of all I wanted to say thanks for your business and support. Also, I wanted to find out how your planting season is going and provide some information that could be valuable to your farm. When you get this message, please call me back at XXXX. Thank you!
Website: https://grasshopper.com/blog/perfect-voicemail-greetings-10-tips-for-recording-effective-and-professional-messages-plus-examples/
9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
