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JP always has great content as well as you always learn something new coming to his site. Great content brother!

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Wow – I just read what I typed and even I can't make sense of the prolix drivel. However, I'm in no shape to attempt anything better so give it the old college try and let me know what you make of it. I'm expecting an entertaining, yet informative response, but I would certainly understand a visit from a cpl of guys wearing white lab coats driving an unremarkable, windowless van :/
No4: Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. .

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“Is it displacing phone calls? Not to any significant degree. I was just in a practice yesterday that has 30 incoming phone lines and cannot keep up with the call volume with four receptionists on at all times.”
Dear Fear It S Time We Go Our Separate Ways Moving Forward I Will Block All Contact With You Next Time You Call My New Secret Separate Ways Dear You Call

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The lovey-dovey stars each debuted new dos on Wednesday. Justin Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez have both been sporting new hairstyles th...
The actor, Jason Alexander, recently customized this answering greeting for a big fan, Kat Dennings. After learning of the famous actresses use of his 90’s greeting from Seinfeld on her voicemail, Jason recorded one for her on The Late Late Show with James Corden. Watch the full segment on Youtube here.

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We are no longer allowing posts or threads that deny the existence of Covid-19. Members have lost loved ones to this virus and are grieving. As a Christian site, we do not need to add to the pain of the loss by allowing posts that deny the existence of the virus that killed their loved one. Future post denying the Covid-19 existence, calling it a hoax, will be addressed via the warning system. Join or Sign In Congregational forums are now Christians Only New rule about videos Changes in the Life Stages section Prayer banner Covid-19 Denial (Narrator's voice There Dale sits, reading a magazine.Suddenly the telephone rings! "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you." You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment.

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I’ve been fond of Jane Barbe’s voice since it is familiar to anyone who has experienced a telephone problem. The mashups came from actual recordings.

  • funny professional voicemail greetings

    Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.

    LanguageHindi SongsPunjabi SongsBhojpuri SongsTamil SongsTelugu SongsKannada SongsGujarati SongsMarathi SongsOdia SongsRajasthani SongsHaryanvi SongsAssamese SongsMalayalam SongsBengali Songs
    "Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it." Lord_all_Mighty, May 22, 2003 Joined: Oct 20, 2002 Messages: 1,506 Location: Too close to Victoria You have reached the home of Tarzan. Sorry i can't answer the phone right now, please leave a message after the AAAHHHHHHAAHHHHHHAAHHHHHHHH Bose, May 23, 2003 Joined: May 16, 2003 Messages: 352 Location: Poland, Warsaw -Robert, answer the phone! Oops, I am Robert! But I'm away now. See? You have to record a message... -You have just reached Browns. We're arguing right now. Record a message: when we'll finish, the one that didn't move out to his/her mother will call you. -Hello, here's Iraq Army HQ. We are out because we want to conquer the USA. When Yankees will kick our butts again, we'll call you.

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    Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements is an English album released in 2015. There are a total of 37 songs in Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements. The songs were composed by Worldwide Talent Group, a talented musician. Listen to all of Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements online on JioSaavn.

    Hi, this is Stephanie's answering machine. If you're the phone company asking for money, stop bugging her, she'll send it sooner or later. If you're a TV company advertising TVs, she already has a TV with every channel known to man, and several known to monkeys. If you called for any other reasons, please hang up the phone, start screaming, and run to the nearest shoe store. When you get there, ask them for a cheeseburger. (This probably won't help you, but we'll always have something to laugh about when we're bored.)
    Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day.

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    This short, quick message tells him how you feel, shows he's on your mind, and makes him start thinking about you. All Rights Reserved.However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Just kidding, buddy.

    40. Hi, I’m not in right now, but if you leave a detailed message I’ll call you back promptly.
    Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages. Semper Fi. Leave your order after the beep. You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on and on, wasting your time. No more. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me! I promise.

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    Personal Voicemail Greetings Samples you’ve come to the right place. We have 10 images about Personal Voicemail Greetings Samples including images, pictures, photos, wallpapers, and more. In these page, we also have variety of images available. Such as png, jpg, animated gifs, pic art, logo, black and white, transparent, etc.

    A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction.
    Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. ...Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. ...Hi. ...Hello! ...A is for academics, B is for beer. ...Hi. ...Hi! ...This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. ...Hello, you are talking to a machine. ...

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Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut. Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut… After the beep. One of Mr.

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Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).

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#DidYouKnow Katharine’s voice inspired other great performances in the film industry? In The Lion in Winter, Katharine Hepburn played the mother of actor Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins later said that Hepburn's voice was, in part, the basis for Hannibal Lecter's voice in Silence of the Lambs.

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