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“Hello, this is Morgan Freeman. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. But if you’re lucky, I might just call ya’ back. Get busy leavin’ your message.”
I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow. .

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9. 212-479-7990: You have been rejected. You met an exciting new person, asked for their phone number, and got it. But when you called, it was not them on the line.
I think that's hilarious! Hope that helps! This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember.

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Voicemail is necessary when no one can answer the phone. However, a dedicated receptionist can reduce the need for this feature and help people reach a live person. Consider live chat as well if your customers like to reach out online.
Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hi, this is _____. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hello, this is _____. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message.

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As an added bonus, posting a job on Voices.com is always free. They also have a VoiceMatch™ algorithm to match your job to only the most qualified voice talent.

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Realtors Wacky Answering Machine Messages Being in Real Estate we get an opportunity to shake our heads a lot. One of the joys of calling a client or returning a call is the chance to hear a bit of the following: • Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

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    Business voicemail greetings are likely to vary by company. Consider these specifics to create a professional voicemail greeting that works for your needs.

    7. Automated And Recorded Voicemail Greetings Overview. Thank You! Callers Hear A Professionally Recorded Greeting Introducing Your Company, And Then The Caller Is Transferred Out To Speak To You Live.
    -This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

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    Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb. It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom. Uh-oh! (Sound of a paper bag exploding.)

    CraftJack can connect you to homeowners and help you grow your customer network. Follow us for expert guidance on how you can find and better manage new leads.
    by Vozshura updated on 30.01.202130.01.2021 Comments on Funny voicemails to leave a friend

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    Elements of a Good Business Voicemail Greeting. Typically, a good business voicemail greeting should comprise the following elements: A warm greeting. Your name, the name of your company and department name. Make an apology for being unable to take the call. Ask the caller to leave a message. Let the caller know when to expect a return call. Free Funny Voicemail Greetings Recordings Home Free Funny Voicemail Greetings Recordings

    No47: This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
    Website: https://www.marketingmessages.com/media/Sample-Voice-Prompts-For-Healthcare.pdf

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    No25: Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.

    Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. Hi, this is [ your name ]. I’m sorry, I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone …
    Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous!

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Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy.

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My friend found a recording of a man rifling off purposely confusing voice mail instructions. It's really fast, and he keeps saying numbers and number combinations... I wish I had it....

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-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.

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