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The bottom line is that a business’s situation is likely to change often and rapidly, each of which need a unique and applicable voicemail greeting to cover the circumstances and timeline. For example, callers shouldn’t reach a business-as-usual voicemail, and therefore expect a return call within the business day, if the subject they’re calling is out on vacation for two weeks. Such a lack of communication is a recipe to lose that caller’s trust and tarnish the brand’s reputation. .

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On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide “play by play” of the incident.
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I really liked your script. I am looking for ideas for our ringless voicemail script and this was a great inspiration.
In this post, I’ll share what makes a good voicemail greeting — and the best voicemail greeting scripts you can use.

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Authors Topics About Contact Policy Home » Funny Voicemail Famous Quotes & Sayings Whatever mind can concieved and believe can be achieves — Napoleon Hill More Pictures » John Coffey was torn open by what he had done ... but he would live. The girls would not. They had been torn open in a more fundamental way. — Stephen King More Pictures » I like butter and the people who like butter. — Tori Amos When nature calls, I don't let it go to voicemail. — Nenia Campbell Life is a lot like skateboarding. — Lil' Wayne The Palestinians try hard to forget when they should remember.

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    Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
    04You have reached the offices of [your company/business]. Our representatives are all currently engaged. If you leave us a message with your name and number, we will get back to you in the earliest possible time. Thank you for calling and have a good day. Lines can often get busy for companies that have several representatives. This reassures clients that someone will get back to them once they are free.

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    As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone, the telephone is next to an answering machine. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine. You hear a beep.

    Good professional voicemail greeting examples. A business named Lorem Ipsum, which sells widgets, wants to leave a brief message that confirms for the listener that they have called the right business. The message would also prompt the caller to provide information needed …
    Phone Solicitor Discouragement: The Long-Winded Voicemail Message. November 12, 2014. November 12, 2014 by funny. By pure, ridiculous serendipity, I found a way to almost bring a stop to phone solicitor calls, a major nuisance for dinosaurs who wish to hang onto their land lines.

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    Good professional voicemail greeting examples. A business named Lorem Ipsum, which sells widgets, wants to leave a brief message that confirms for the listener that they have called the right business. The message would also prompt the caller to provide information needed to return the call, and throws in a nice quick promotional note.

    Is it an interactive automated service, or just a “please provide the following information and someone will contact you shortly” kind of thing? I'm referring to your Vumber number greeting/interaction with the seller during their first ever reach out to you via your postcard. Am I making sense? I have pneumonia so I'm a bit hazy… 😛
    Since this clip surfaced on the Internet in early 2005, several radio programs have aired interviews with persons claiming to have some involvement with this audio clip. On 4 February 2005, the nationally syndicated Coast to Coast AM show put through a caller who maintained he was the person who had been beaten by the women as described in the purported voicemail message. In late February, several stations broadcast

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    And also to walk you through some of the nuances and Jedi mind tricks inside…and how it solidly prescreens & elegantly sets the stage for having solid conversations with the right people.

    21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just This is not an answering machine.
    “Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”

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Creating a professional voicemail greeting isn’t complicated, but you need to keep a few things in mind to ensure success. The following tips will help: Be friendly and welcoming - let your company's personality shine!; Have a clear voice, speak at a slow to moderate pace, minimize background noise; Ensure the greeting is human and approachable; Keep the greeting short and informative; Ensure the greeting doesn’t sound robotic or unnatural; Show your gratitude for the call by saying thank you; Manage expectations by clearly stating when the client can expect a callback.

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“This is not a voice-mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”

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We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.

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Use These Funny Messages To Customise Your Mobile Phone Voicemail. Or Use Them On Your Answer Machine At Home. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service. Consult your network manual for detailed information on changing your

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