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A monotone voice can be a turn off for a caller. You want your caller to feel like they missed out on speaking with you — not like they dodged a bullet.

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Customize Your Voicemail! Customizing your outbound voicemail greeting for different callers is just the tip of the iceberg! Sign up today for FREE! Enhanced visual voicemail. Call blocking. Voicemail sharing. Voicemail to email. Voicemail to text.
You may also email us at [email]. If you would like one of our team members to call you back, please leave your full name, contact info and number after the beep. Good to hear from you!” .

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Background noise can make it hard for the person calling in to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around when you record your message!
Relationship Love Texts for Him Love Texts for Her Dating Advices Marriage Advice Breakup Etiquette & advice Social Etiquette Tips Thank You Messages Sympathy What to Say Motivational Words Good Excuses Words to Describe Instagram Captions Ice Breaker Questions Comebacks Sassy Funny & Inspirational Quotes Nicknames Celebration Good Luck Wishes Congratulations Messages Holiday Greetings Birthday Wishes Wedding Tips Anniversary Wishes Workplace Work Tips Career Advice Job Interview Tips Quit Job Business Email Writing Parent & Kid Words to Parents Words to Kids Words to Friends Photo by ElasticComputeFarm under pixabay license Workplace 15+ Best Voicemail Greetings for Work and Personal Cell Phones

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On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide “play by play” of the incident.
4. Hi, thanks for calling GetVoIP. We would love to help you out in anyway we can, but these Holidays are keeping us from getting anything done! We will be returning to the office after the New Year on Jan 2nd, but feel free to head over to our website GetVoIP.com to learn what you can. Happy holidays!

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Using humor is appropriate in some situations, but humor should be avoided in situations including serious businesses where reputations could be damaged or people could become upset. Both funny and sincere examples are included for a variety of options. These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones. Hi, you've reached _-. Please leave a message and I'll get back with you soon. Thanks. You know what to do. Thanks for calling. Just leave a message and we’ll get back with you. We’re sorry we can’t answer the phone right now, but we would love to get back with you as soon as we can. Just let us know what we can help you with and leave a number for us to get back with you soon. You've reached the voice mail of ____. I'm either away from my phone or talking with someone else. Leave me a message and I'll be happy to return your call. Hi. I must be away from my phone at the moment. Please leave me a message. I'll get back to you. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone. It's always a good idea to let callers know exactly when their calls may be returned and to list the operating hours.

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We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.

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Live long and prosper. Click here to listen to the Star Trek voicemail greeting on Youtube. Hello, can you hear me? Hello from Ellen. Click here to hear how Hepburn brings these words to life. So please, leave a message at the sound of the beep… for the sake of anthropology. Hopkins later said that Hepburn's voice was, in part, the basis for Hannibal Lecter's voice in Silence of the Lambs.

Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back. Hey, it’s me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don’t like. So if you’ve left me a message and I haven’t called you back, then it’s probably you. Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)’s answering machine. (Your name) is …
1. Short Business Voicemail Greetings. Hi there, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. Thanks for calling. I'm unable to answer the phone but if you leave your name, phone number, and message.
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Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.

46. Hello, you’ve reached [name], [job title] at [company]. I’m currently away from my desk or on another call. Please leave a detailed message so I can return your call as soon as I get back.
Time to give stuff away again! And golly, you guys just can't get enough, can you? 🙂 Our letter of intent Our burned house letter Our option agreement Our motivated seller postcard 47 MLS keywords for REI A motivated seller phone script
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In other words, voice mail isn’t dead yet for veterinarians. Let’s consider strategies to make your voice mail messages effective. Always strive to move the conversation forward, even if that’s simply to let clients know: The best times to reach you When you’ll try to call again How to connect with you in other ways (email or text message)

How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this.
This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.
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24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"

Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, ill try to squeeze you in.
Those who know me know I can hold a conversation. I love people, and my desire to share with them carries over to leaving cell phone messages. Sadly, I know better than to leave long messages, and I have no excuse, but I tend to chatter on, and on, and on, enjoying a conversation with, essentially, myself.
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Which brings me to—an interesting (and kinda hilarious) question from Tim D. I saw recently in response to one of my “Swipe & Deploy” shares. Choose whichever flavor you like…

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4. Voicemail greetings for calls received after business hours. You don’t want to answer calls 24/7 (unless you’re serving clients globally and there’s an expectation of 24/7 support).

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So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk.

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To set up voice mail, tap the Phone icon, tap the Voicemail icon and then "Greeting.". There are two options available: Default and Custom. If voice mail hasn't been set up previously on your phone, Default is selected, which means people will hear your wireless carrier's generic voice mail greeting when they call you.
2.) A gracious phone message is 30-45 seconds when talking to those we don’t know well. As George Washington said (yep, that George Washington), and I’m paraphrasing, “With men of business, be brief.” Be pleasant, and get right to the point. You’ll appear more confident and capable of handling the situation which merited the call.
No27: Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
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Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look. Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver's status.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. !

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9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

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Hi, I am not here right now, but if you are a friend, leave a message, if you are a creditor you can kiss my... (beep)

Image credit to Far Reach Inc. http://www.farreachinc.com/blog/far-reach/2015/01/08/ho-ho-oh-how-to-create-unforgettable-corporate-holiday-greetings
Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.
The call itself is apparently real, but no one can substantiate whether this guy just made a call and made up the whole story. As for people claiming to have been involved...there is no shortage of attention-seekers in this country, so that doesn't really persuade me either. Search Menu Main Menu Voicemail Records Confrontration After Traffic Accident Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a motorist and four elderly women? David Mikkelson Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
So my dad called me and I missed the call, on my voice mail greeting I say to leave your name and number and I'll get back to you.
And then a whole generation of children grew up thinking that all mysteries have to involve monsters somehow. Judge_Deadd, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 15, 2003 Messages: 5,818 - Hello, you have reached the home of Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf. Who does not live here. No one lives here! This is all a big lie presented to you by the American infidels. You're not calling this number! Please leave a message after the beep, which by the way does not exist. - HEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH *click*

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Funny Videos, Pranks, Answering machine messages, pictures, signs, cartoons. Funny Answering Machine Messages. Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. Click Here To Listen to the All New Computer Generated Messages.

Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back—only that I won't.
On Air Recordings started providing recording services in 1992. Their service is pretty simple and straightforward: You choose the voice actor you like, then upload your voicemail script. The voice artist records your project and then you download it. Need guidance on your script, tone, and structure? They have services for that too.
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– Thank you for calling XYZ Company. We are currently unavailable to take your call. Our business hours are nine to five, Monday through Friday. If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to leave a message for, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 9 for a company directory, or hold on to leave a message for the operator. If this is an emergency, please enter 911 now to be connected with the after-hours support personnel.
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As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...

Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
Many times, salon voicemail messages only take away from your remarkable customer service and without the wanted result: drive clients in for an appointment. This is why we do not recommend getting into this habit, even if we are fully aware it sometimes seems like the only available option.
Voicemail Script #7: The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end. Here’s an example of a sales voicemail script with a …
Hey, this is ________, and I'm can't come to the phone right now, but don't mind me--You know what to do!
Keep it Brief. Time is money in business, so if your voicemail is long, chances are the caller will simply disengage before the cue to leave a message even sounds. Keep your voicemail short. The most should be around 30 seconds, and even that’s pressing it. We’ve grown into a country where our attention span can last only about 10 seconds in some cases, so keep it short, brief and to the point. Persuade and Engage the Caller. If someone calls your business, they already have an intention. It’s the quality of your voicemail that plays a factor if they consider you a company they’d like to deal with. This is your chance to motivate someone to engage in a meaningful conversation with you. If your voicemail is shoddy, chances are they’ll hang up, or lose motivation to continue the call. In other words, your voice mail must engage and entice someone to the point that they care enough to leave you a message.

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A monotone voice can be a turn off for a caller. You want your caller to feel like they missed out on speaking with you — not like they dodged a bullet.

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We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.

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Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.

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24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"

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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.

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funny voicemail answering messages

A monotone voice can be a turn off for a caller. You want your caller to feel like they missed out on speaking with you — not like they dodged a bullet.

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We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.

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Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.

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24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"

Be Part Of Our Story!

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Contact Us

Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.

Create an account.

Be Part
Of Our
Story!