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This script is very well crafted, I love the human feel to it (down to Earth all-around good people) I’m going to tweak mines a little but this will be the base of my 24 hr voice mail Thank you for sharing

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2. “DUDE! I told you to bury the arms and throw the body in the ocean” This will surely make the person on the other end go bonkers for a second. If you want to play a prank with them, then use this phrase.
This script is very well crafted, I love the human feel to it (down to Earth all-around good people) I’m going to tweak mines a little but this will be the base of my 24 hr voice mail Thank you for sharing .

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“Thank you for calling [company/person’s name]. We are currently unavailable, but if you leave your name, phone number, and message, we will get back to you as soon as possible.”
If you're seeing this message, that means JavaScript has been disabled on your browser, please enable JS to make Imgur work. Witty Quotes Clever Quotes Funny Quotes Wisdom Quotes Funny ThingsGood Questions Mysterious Questions Funny Signs Funny Headlines Funny Definitions Other QuotesArmy Quotes Computer Quotes Respect Quotes Political Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Friendship Quotes Marriage Quotes Happy Birthday Quotes Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.

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The first Salient Media talent to appear on YouMail is comedian Katt Williams. He has appeared on a variety of television shows and comedy specials, but is best known for his triple platinum selling DVD Pimp Chronicles pt. 1. Other comedians are soon to follow.
Yes, you can be charged. This depends on the service. For example, Spectrum’s Voice Residential Services Price Guide charges $3.95 for voicemail.

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Website: http://soundcommunication.holdcom.com/bid/83016/5-Examples-of-Funny-Voicemail-Greetings-why-you-should-avoid-them

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#2 “Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message at the beep. Like you needed me to tell you that, right? I mean, how many times have you done this? You already know what to do.”

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    21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break FREEAnsweringMachineMessages. FREE. Answering. Machine. Messages. Below is a list of various Answering Machine Messages and messages you can use on your voice mail system. 6thSenseDetectiveAgency.wav AdamSandlerPotSmokers.mp3 Africain.mp3 Afterlife.wav AliceCooper.wav

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    The other day, I was leaving a message, and the voicemail system cut me off. It seems I exceeded my 90 seconds of allotted time. No, I didn’t call back. I figured the man got the gist of the message, so I left the ball in his court.

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    Funny; Funny Voicemail Funny Voicemail sorry but nobodys available to answer you call at this time.if you'd like to leave a message please wait for the beep, then press #, then so on..great doe anyone know how to have the phone say the name as it is on the contact list? At 6/4/10, 4:47 AM, *Anonymous* said

    “This is not a voice-mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”
    1. Funny Answering Greeting from Seinfeld. Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.

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    Avoid background noise. Whether you have music playing in your office, or you’re sitting in a coffee shop, background noise can make it difficult for your customers to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around you when you leave your voicemail greeting.

    Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him. One of Mr. Stewart’s most identifiable trademarks, the slow and stammering way he delivered lines, brings forward a hilarious way to tell your callers to leave a message.
    Hi, I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

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    Virtual events are very much like many other kinds of meetings; only they take place over the internet. This technology allows visitors and businesses to collaborate, share information, connect with...

    Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look. Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver's status.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails.
    Prospecting refers to the process through which a business attracts new clients. This, surprisingly, is not as easy as it may sound. It requires you . . .

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2. [DOWNLOAD] Pre Recorded Answering Machine Messages | updated! Casual, Fun Greetings Want to keep things light and simple while making your callers laugh when they hear your greeting?

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Sorry, Chris and Susan aren’t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.

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Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.

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7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

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