We have added expanded forums for the new strategy games Humankind and Old World. Civilization's 30th Birthday Contest: Give Civ a Present, Get One Back! New Forums for Humankind and Old World 100 Of The Funniest Thing To Put On Your Answering Machine Theard Page 1 of 9 1 ← 2 3 4 5 6 → 9 Next > Joined: Apr 12, 2003 Messages: 45 Location: at my house Lets try to put 100 of the funniest thigs you can put on your answering machine. I can't think of any thing so somebody else start off, and links to web sites are ok. Chain n' Axe, May 22, 2003 Joined: Apr 10, 2003 Messages: 359 Location: Here " OH MY GOD PUT THE GUN DOWN! PLEASE PUT IT DOWN! BOOM!!!" *beep*
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After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
The one drawback to Fiverr is you won’t be working directly with the artist in a studio and providing immediate feedback. Because of this, you could end up with a project that’s not 100% what you had in mind.
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Voicemail greetings are not memorable. Most of them are exactly the same and therefore, provide no surprise to the person on the other end of the line. When people see, hear and experience the expected, they tend to forget it very quickly. Funny voicemail greetings give your callers a sense of shock. That shock is not easily forgotten. Not only will this encourage sharing and engagement (which I will get to later), but it will also give you a distinct advantage when you return the call.
“How do you leave an idiot in suspense? Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you… Bye!”
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But if you can’t get an actual answering machine or afford an assistant to do the job, you can try out the best answering machine apps for Android. They may not be perfect but they get the job done. Note: The best answering machine apps for Android were tested on a Vivo V9 smartphone. The apps worked OK, and there were no major problems faced during testing.
This is name speaking. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. So how about an early birthday present? These were some of the best and funny voice-mail greetings. Try recording them in your voice mailbox.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.
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I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
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8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.
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Cell Phone Greetings make personal voice mail greetings easier to get from the professionals. Cell Phone Greeting.net will install your professional voice mail messages from our professional voice talent. Phone greetings are the professional way to promote your business.
No43: You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron.
The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
Last night, my mother told me to check my email, and I knew from the poorly disguised grin that I had another gimmicky “greeting card” waiting for me. The cards tackle the human psyche as if we are creatures of binary emotional existence: vulgar humor or molasses-sweet. Read More Podcast: How do eGreeting Cards Increase Customer Engagement? November 11, 2014 Andy Begnoche' customer experience, podcast, greetings
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Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you’re looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.
I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.
Happy Independence Day from Yu Orthodontics! We are closed from the 4th thru the 6th in celebration of the 4th of July holiday. Our office will reopen at 8 am on Monday, July 9th. If you have an emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If this is an urgent matter and you cannot wait to speak to the doctor when we when we are open, please call Dr. Yu directly at 555-4010. If you are calling to inquire about services or schedule an appointment, please leave a message, and we will return your call on Monday. Thank you and have a fun, safe holiday!
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Like, right before you recorded this greeting you realized how dumb it would be to leave instructions. But you still wanted me to know how dumb it would be for you to leave instructions, so you wasted 20 seconds of my time telling me that you already knew I would know how to do it.
Hello. This is Chris. John and Mike aren’t here right now, but if you leave a message, they’ll get back to you as soon as they can.
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Holiday Voicemail Script Sample. Thank you for calling ABC Company. We are currently closed for the holiday. Our normal business hours are 8 am to 8 pm, eastern time, Monday through Friday. Your call is very important to us. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message regarding your …
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No26: (Deadpan voice:) Hi, This is Dave. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
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Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital. If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.
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Professional voicemail greetings for work can be critical for giving your business a good level of credibility. By using one of our ready-made messages, you can save yourself time and impress the other party.
What you do not want to do is say your phone number so quickly that the person has to listen to your voicemail multiple times to try and figure out your phone number. We have all gotten those annoying voicemail messages where the person said their phone number so quickly that we had to listen to their message several times to figure out their phone number. Don't be that jerk who leaves their phone number so fast that the other person has to listen to your message over and over to try and figure out what your phone number is.
-This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
4. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?… long pause and beep sound.
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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages – Phone Losers Of America. Our Pre Recorded Message Packages Are Available In All Common Audio Formats Mp3 Wave Alaw Ulaw 16Bit 18Bit. Download Voicemail Greetings For Free Browse Most Popular Greetings And Add A Greeting To Your Youmail Visual Voicemail.
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3. Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
6. Voicemail Greetings For The Holidays. Hi, you’ve reached (insert name and title) at (insert company.) We’ve taken this time to be with our family’s and stuff our bellies.
By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute.
Keep in mind that regulations for use of email and text messaging may require clients to opt-in—meaning they give permission for you to contact them in this way. So, you’ll need to be clear if you plan only to use email or text messages for one-on-one communication during active casework or if you may also use it for other reasons as well, including reminders or promotions for your products or services.
If you're seeing this message, that means JavaScript has been disabled on your browser, please enable JS to make Imgur work. Witty Quotes Clever Quotes Funny Quotes Wisdom Quotes Funny ThingsGood Questions Mysterious Questions Funny Signs Funny Headlines Funny Definitions Other QuotesArmy Quotes Computer Quotes Respect Quotes Political Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Friendship Quotes Marriage Quotes Happy Birthday Quotes Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
Website: http://soundcommunication.holdcom.com/bid/83016/5-Examples-of-Funny-Voicemail-Greetings-why-you-should-avoid-them
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– Hi, this is (name). I’m sorry I cannot take your call right now. Please leave a detailed message after the tone along with your name and telephone number. I will give you a call as soon as I return. Thank you.
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Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected]]. Otherwise, please leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we return. We value your call. Thank you from everyone at [LinkedPhone].
You’ve worked hard on your application. You’ve double- and triple-checked for spelling errors and you know you are a perfect fit for this job. You’ve followed up on your application and made such a great impression that the employer decides they want to call you in for an interview. You are checking your phone, anxiously awaiting the call…but nothing seems to happen.
Funny Videos, Pranks, Answering machine messages, pictures, signs, cartoons. Funny Answering Machine Messages. Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. Click Here To Listen to the All New Computer Generated Messages.
Being that I have been at Holdcom for a few months now, I decided it was time to change my cell phone voicemail greeting to something a bit more polished. Keep in mind, I have had the same voicemail message for probably 6 years, just transferring the same greeting every time I would get a new... All posts Next
6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you.
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“Hi there. This is (name) speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment, I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number, and I’ll be thinking about it…”
No43: You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron.
I’m home right now . . . I’m just screening my calls. So just start talking and if you’re someone I want to speak to I’ll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
Mick’s storyful messages are keeping customers happy even though their calls were not answered. So happy in fact, that those that hear the voicemail are sharing them with others and laughing along with the owner when he calls them back.
So there ya go. Leave a comment below and you'll get to download my nifty, we-buy-houses voicemail script—easy peasy, macaroni-and-cheesy. And don’t forget to be awesome.
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That's why you have to put a little "you" when it comes to voicemail ".The best part of all of this is because you can't make a phone call and at least the person who makes the call is happy to listen to the information.What is your greeting?Is it automated or are you personalized to suit your personality?Many times when we call our friends, family or any other place, all we get is voice mail.
The best voicemail messages are friendly, concise, and get straight to the point. So, what is a good voicemail script? In this post, we’ll discuss why you need a script, give you five voicemail templates, and show you how to record a professional greeting.
A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't... 5 Steps to Creating an Audio eGreeting Card December 06, 2011 Juli Durante marketing, tips, greetings
You’ve reached the general mailbox for Case Manufacturing. We are located in Fort Worth at 600 Everman Parkway, just East of I-35 in the Worth Industrial Park. Our office is open to serve you Monday through Friday from 8 am until 5 pm. For more information on our products and manufacturing capabilities, visit Case Manufacturing Inc dot com. Our website also allows you to request a quote and place your orders online. All other inquiries, please leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible.
Here are some great examples of professional voicemail greetings that you can use in your business!
Hello! Thanks for calling [LinkedPhone’s Customer Success Team]. We are currently helping other customers achieve their goals and want to do the same for you! Please leave a message with your name, number, and a brief description of how we can serve you. We promise to return your call [before close of business today]. In the interim, you can also check out our website at [linkedphone.com] for helpful answers to our most common requests. Thank you.
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2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow.
Phone scripts can be answered by button-dialing or voice response. With a button-dialing system, the caller will press one of the number keys to input their response. With an IVR system, callers can speak to the system to initiate commands and submit answers.
Custom Voicemail Greetings: Our pre-recorded on hold messages are available in 9 languages spoken by native speakers. We custom produce highest quality voicemail messages, IVR messages, on hold messages and announcements based on your individual scripts in multiple languages. We are looking forward to your call.
Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb. It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom. Uh-oh! (Sound of a paper bag exploding.)
Make it funny! Now not everyone is the funniest comedian, and this time to practice a stand-up routine. No one wants to reach your voicemail just to be greeted with 15 knock-knock jokes. But you can easily add some humor, lighten up the tone a bit and try to leave people with a smile. Of course, keep it light – no dark humor here.
No31: I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person.
