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20. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s phone. I’m busy making deals or rock climbing [replace with your personal hobbies], so leave your contact information and a brief message so I can call you back when I have a free moment.

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My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.
I love the thought process and NLP language put into the script. Very smart & clever! .

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Website: https://linkedphone.com/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings-scripts-examples-for-business/
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Recording the message yourself doesn’t mean it can’t be done professionally. You can still get studio time with an experienced audio engineer. Studio time can cost $60-$100 per hour, which may or may not come with an engineer. If you need to hire one, their rates are usually $100-$300 an hour. Mind you, their feedback, professional experience, and editing capabilities are typically well worth the extra expense.
Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message?

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Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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If they don’t leave a message, you’ll never know who called. Some people may assume they should just call back later. But if you prefer to get back to them at your leisure, encourage them to leave a message.

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    As probably know, a professional voicemail greeting can make or break leaving a great impression. However, it all starts with your voicemail script.
    Has using headphones made you think about their working? To know how headphones work, read on.

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    As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone, the telephone is next to an answering machine. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine. You hear a beep.

    Below are examples of excellent professional voicemail greetings for various situations to help you get started in creating your own perfect greeting! For each, we’ve included helpful tips, a sample voicemail greeting script, and an audio recording. The greetings are grouped by company greetings, department / team greetings, and personal business greetings. These greetings are likely longer than what you would want to use in real life – but our goal is to help you generate ideas to help you create your own!
    Your call is important to us and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Please leave your full name, contact details, phone number, and availability after the beep and we will call you back straight away. Thank you!”

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    7. Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.

    2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project.
    5. Happy Holidays from GetVoIP! Sorry we couldn’t find one of the interns to answer your call, we’re all tied up trying to finish off this supply of Eggnog before the year ends. Feel free to check out our website, or even leave a message. We’ll be returning to the office after the New Year on January 2nd, and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.

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    Website: https://www.slideshare.net/voicemailprofessional/best-voicemail-greetings

    Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time.
    Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb. It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom. Uh-oh! (Sound of a paper bag exploding.)

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Who is this?! How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.

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My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.

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Last night, as I was getting ready to cook dinner, I received a mysterious phone call from a number I didn't recognize and I naturally let it go to voicemail. Surprisingly the mystery caller did leave a voice message and several minutes later I got this text. To eliminate all possibilities I proceeded to listen to the voicemail and ensure it was indeed someone important to me. It was both of my parents(they like to put me on speakerphone so they can talk to me simultaneously) informing me of my Dad's new cellular device.

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10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you. You are half-way there.

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