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Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant’s attorney, Archie’s lawyer advises him that he has no case, as the other side’s witnesses are too strong. There’s an old legal precept, he informs Archie: “You can’t beat a station wagon full of nuns.”

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Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!
Hello! Thanks for calling [LinkedPhone’s Customer Success Team]. We are currently helping other customers achieve their goals and want to do the same for you! Please leave a message with your name, number, and a brief description of how we can serve you. We promise to return your call [before close of business today]. In the interim, you can also check out our website at [linkedphone.com] for helpful answers to our most common requests. Thank you. .

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Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.
Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.

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3. Available Agents Greeting. What callers hear when they are routed to an available agent. Sample Scripts: “Please hold while you are connected to the next available agent.”
2. Personal Voicemail Greetings. Customer Support Representative Voicemail Greeting. Hello, you've reached [name] at [X company]. If you need help with [X reason] please contact [X person/X system] or [visit our website and send us an email].

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-Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep-

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This message will self destruct. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. The President is not in his office at this time.

  • professional but funny voicemail greetings

    When you decide to upgrade your voicemail message to a more professional option, you choose between writing and recording it yourself and having a professional do the hard work for you. On the surface, voicemail greetings seem simple, but they often go awry. Some people try to use a funny... 5 Examples of Funny Voicemail Greetings and Why You Should Avoid Them March 14, 2012 Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings

    Download your FREE Phorest Two-Pager Cheat Sheet for Voicemail & Hold The Line greeting!
    4. Provide your voicemail system's password. You will be prompted to enter the passcode to your voicemail account, if you have set one (which, hopefully, you have).

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    So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

    1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."
    Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you’re looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.

  • how do i make a personal voicemail greeting

    Selection of pre-recorded phone greetings and on hold messages: In order to select your desired phone message, please follow steps 1,2 and 3 in order . Our pre-recorded message packages are available in all common audio formats (mp3 / wave / alaw / ulaw / 16bit / 18bit). Special audio formats are also available at no extra cost.

    The first call is from a man that looked in the yellow pages under the pest control category and decided that we looked like the right people to call to report that 3 men were throwing a dead goat into a dumpster.
    1. 1-603-413-4124: Calling Santa. Ever thought of reaching out to Santa months before the Christmas period? Well, this line allows you to talk to the man in charge of deciding who gets what for Christmas.

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    1. 911, what’s your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just don’t let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.

    Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts
    No24: You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.

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Random facts could include their favorite movie, vacation spot, candy, or television show. Regardless of what you choose, it will surprise your caller and more than likely make them leave a message if they were considering hanging up.

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Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up and after we will tell each other everything.

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13. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. All of our team members are busy at the moment, but if you leave a brief message, someone will return your call as soon as possible.

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