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Responding to voicemails is time-consuming. Fortunately, with the right greeting, you might be able to save yourself some hassle. If you don’t have an auto attendant, you can give callers the information they are looking for with your voicemail greeting. Of course, this means that your greeting may be a little lengthy, but that can work in your favor as callers will only stay on the line to leave a message if they still need assistance.

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Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.
Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! I'm not available right now, but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. .

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All in all, when you create an unexpected experience, people not only remember it, but also talk about it.
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This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don’t wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.
10. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail is yet another great voicemail tool for your android devices for accessing and managing your voicemails.

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If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.

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But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings. Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them.

  • example business voicemail greetings

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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. 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    16. Hi, you’ve reached [X Business Name]. Our regular business hours are [State opening hours]. If you need to reach someone immediately, please call [contact’s name] at [cell phone number]. If not, leave your name and contact information and a representative will get back to you when we re-open.
    “Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We can’t take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. Unfortunately, we’re currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. We’re available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If you’d like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the beep.” “Hello, you’ve reached [company]. If you’re looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and we’ll return your call straight away.”

  • funny voicemail greetings ideas

    Voicemail greetings for business have to be very clear, precise, and to the point. Businessmen tend to avoid frivolous talks, so it is important that you stick to the basics. On the other hand, you can be funny or a little less formal while recording a voicemail for your friends and family. However, remember to adhere to voicemail etiquette while recording these greetings. So, this is where I sign out. Leave a message, I mean a comment if you like my voicemail greeting suggestions!

    Top 13 Professional Voicemail Greetings – Examples, Scripts, Samples, Audio Recordings
    Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.

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    Artist OriginalsZaeden - DooriyanRaghav - SufiSIXK - DansaSiri - My JamLost Stories, "Mai Ni Meriye"

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    Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...

  • sample of business voicemail greetings

    9. Outgoing Message with Samuel L. Jackson Treatment. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.

    “Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. I’m unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,’ ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,’ ‘convert 40% more customers.’] Leave your name and number, and we’ll discuss how your company can see similar results.” “Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and reason you’d like to chat, and I’ll get to back to you ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I’ll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it’s not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day.” “Hey, this is [your name]. If you’re calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I’ll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].” “Hello, you’ve reached [name] at company. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I’ll return your call as soon as I’m free. Thank you.”
    Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant’s attorney, Archie’s lawyer advises him that he has no case, as the other side’s witnesses are too strong. There’s an old legal precept, he informs Archie: “You can’t beat a station wagon full of nuns.”

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19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help.

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It offers FREE voice mail greetings for the different people that call your cell phone. It's called youmail. This youmail service can replace your cellular voicemail with a supposedly better voice mail system that includes a set of cool and different features such as different personalized greetings for each caller, online and phonebased

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Hello! This is [Nick on the West Coast Sales Team at LinkedPhone]. I am currently on vacation until [Friday, April 22nd] with limited access to email. If you require urgent assistance, please contact my lieutenant [Harold Kisp at 415-555-1212 or [email protected]]. Otherwise, please leave a message and I will return your call when I’m back in the office. Thank you and I look forward to chatting!

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