what are some funny voicemail greetings

Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. how do you leave a personal voicemail greeting how to greet on conference call funny greetings on the phone creative professional voicemail greetings voicemail sample greeting messages what do you say when leaving a voice message free greeting messages for voicemail what to say for your personal voicemail greeting funny voicemail greetings for business how to save voice message is happy passover an appropriate greeting why does my voicemail make me call it funny voicemail chinese vaccine “We are thrilled to be partnering with YouMail to help entertainers such as Katt Williams connect with their fans through YouMail’s unique and innovative voicemail service,” said Gary Binkow, CEO of Salient Media. “YouMail offers not only a way to connect entertainers with their fans, but also gives fans the opportunity to express their personality and interests in a new and exciting way.” funny voicemail greetings audio Your phone system can be a powerful marketing tool for your business, and that includes your voicemail greeting. If you want to utilize this opportunity to throw in a quick humblebrag and keep callers informed of your awards and accolades, there are a few best practices, you should follow. First, keep the self-promotion brief and appropriately placed within your voicemail message. Don’t promote yourself and your products/services in the same greeting, and finally, only include current achievements in your business voicemail greeting. Take the time to listen to calls, call back if necessary, use your cell phone when you’re out of town, and take care of anything actionable listed in the messages instead of watching your mailbox fill in. This kind of attention to detail can go a long way towards building a good reputation and image for the business. Good luck! "Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip! greeting on phone for voicemail 2017 animation attrTools bitbucket cgmToolbox clickMesh clickSurface Commercials git lessons learned locinator Maya Morpheus Rig News Optimization polyUnite ProblemKicker puppetBox Python r9Meta Rigging Dojo setTools tdTools This Week @ CGM Tips Updates Wing IDE Workflow “After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!” 8. Morgan Freeman Shares His Voice for Voicemail Greetings. Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. how to make the best voicemail Website: https://www.reference.com/world-view/examples-professional-voicemail-greeting-93942ec15af9e87a 2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project. The next step is very important and you need to get it right. Say your phone number two times very slowly so the person has enough time to write down your number as they are listening to your message the first time. personal greeting messages for voicemail RecommendationsChoice AwardsGenresGiveawaysNew ReleasesListsExploreNews & Interviews 4. Liam Neeson Threatens and Delights Your Callers. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience. Home Personal My Voicemail Greeting. My Voicemail Greeting. TRACKS: 58 CATEGORY: PERSONAL RIGHTS: PERSONAL VIEWS: 217,842. Phone Greeting Generic. Phone greeting 2. Phone greeting 3. Ringtone- hey your phone is ringing (sung) Angry Southern Man. Clint Eastwood. Irish Phone Msg. am_spock. Be Part Of Our Story! what to say in personal voicemail greeting The first call is from a man that looked in the yellow pages under the pest control category and decided that we looked like the right people to call to report that 3 men were throwing a dead goat into a dumpster. funny voicemail voices Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back. how to get a funny voicemail message If you’re busy and can’t get to the phone, make sure your answering machine or voice mail greets the guest with a professional message before the third ring (see the later section, “Relying on answering machines or voice-mail systems” for details). from Running a Bed and Breakfast For Dummies by Mary White Wiley, 2009 Contact Us She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella. Send Message Create an account. I agree to the license terms. Sign Up You already have an account? Login here. funny greetings on tinder The Underachievers Albums Donna R Geitz Maternity Clothes For Breast Feeding Hotel Riddargatan Stockholm Busty Brunette Lesbians Scarlett Pomers Feet Tacoma Gay Massage Creampie Thais Download Sex Pull Out Method Effectiveness Captain Francis Log Leanr Pleasure Craft Fake Ass For Sale Brasserie France Oslo Penis Enlarging Massage Paris Museums East Asian Art Adult Entertainment Franklin North Carolina Boy Getting Erection Isaiah Washington Nude Pornoy Nude Body Massage Michigan Swingers Tumblr Bombay Corner Ebony Shelf Wall Marco Varga Instagram Sexy Game Online Free Funnygames Stomach Pains During Early Pregnancy Curly Hair Straighty Working On His Fat Cock Solo. Creative Window TreatmentsPallet Bedroom IdeasProstitute One LinersDo Sloths Make Good House Pets This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. This is an answering machine. Goodbye my friend. But leave me a message anyway to help me reconnect when I get back. Thanks for calling during my spring pledge drive. People also love sending greeting cards. You know what I hate about answering machine messages? If i didn't want to talk to you the first time I won't want to the tenth. Graduation messages can be difficult to write, especially knowing what to write after the "congratulations. Bwana fella no home now, so you fella leave talkie-talk. Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Questions must be on-topic, written with proper grammar usage, and understandable to a wide audience. Top Ten Profile Pictures Miss You Baby Wallpapers Sexy Skirt And Heels Dbz Ep 172 Coco White How To Use Autumn Glass Pattern Do Pigs Eat Hay Breast Tattoos Pics Ryan Cleary Blog 100 Pics Animals 55 Search for: Home Funny voicemails to leave a friend Showing 1 Result(s) Funny voicemails to leave a friendFunny voicemails to leave a friend http://www.ezrasvoice.com/ Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings can easily be created using this blueprint. While all Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings will be uniq Send me your project script details and I can create a custom quote, you can download the rate sheet with the green button. Next, tell him the name of the company you work at. Something along the lines of, "John this is Mark at Pinnacle." Free Pre Recorded Voicemail Messages › Best Education From www.studyeducation.org Education We provide free recorded voicemail greetings: The best way to greet your callers—and create a stunning im pre ssion—is with a professional, pre - recorded voice message. AccessDirect’s professional, pre - recorded voicemail greeting tells customers that you are a serious business—every time Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? ! professional funny voicemail funny voicemail greetings in spanish how to make a voice message clearer Close Project voicemail pro record greeting The most professional voicemail message should include a formal tone and specific instructions. For example, you may say “Hello, you’ve reached [your name], [job title] at [business name]. I’m sorry to have missed your call. Please leave your name, contact information, and reason for calling so I can get back to you promptly.” Hi, this is Jackie, it hurts me inside to know I missed your call. Ouch. Leave your painful message after the beep. No43: You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron. When creating an individual voicemail greeting, clearly identify yourself, your role, and your company, and let the caller know when you will be able to return their call. Here are a few voicemail greeting scripts you can use with your personal work phone extension: On Another Call Example Script. Hi, this is [YOUR NAME] from [COMPANY NAME]. Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a client’s interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you. how to call digi voicemail best voicemail recording for business greeting on phone for voicemail Close Project how to greet someone in a conference call Top ActorsSalman Khan SongsAllu Arjun SongsSunny Leone SongsAmitabh Bachchan SongsVarun Dhawan SongsBrowseNew ReleasesFeatured PlaylistsWeekly Top SongsTop ArtistsTop ChartsTop Radios short professional voicemail greetings examples When you want callers to leave a message, make sure your voicemail greeting indicates that. Be sure to keep your greeting short and direct, and include the info you want to capture. 2. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s voicemail box. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your contact information I’ll get back to you within 24 hours. Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just missing your guy, let him know how you feel with a sweet voicemail. If you can't be with your guy, but want to let him know you're thinking of him, a cute voicemail is the perfect solution. 9. "Hey, this is [your name]. Thanks for reaching out. I'm busy at the moment, but if you leave your name, number, and message, I'll return your call.” There is surely no better way to make voicemail fun than with pop culture references. Tim Gunn . Play off a classic line delivered by Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. "Of all the messages on all the phones in all the world, you have to leave one for me." Work on your Terminator impression with this short and sweet quip. "Leave a message. I'll professional voicemail greetings for your cell phone funny voicemail reddit how to call in sick voicemail Close Project download professional voicemail greetings Download your FREE Phorest Two-Pager Cheat Sheet for Voicemail & Hold The Line greeting! Voicemails need to maintain a professional consistency that’s aligned with the entity it’s representing. That said, the structure can vary depending on the situation. There’s no template set in stone. In fact, trite and generic should be off the table. The goal should be a balance of uniqueness and practicality. Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked. So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag. You’ve reached [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings]. We are currently off-duty. Our business hours are [Monday through Saturday, 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and we’ll get back to you on the next business day. Thank you. It was also when I didn’t have to worry about getting “professionals” calling me. If you might have to worry about that, I highly recommend you don’t use these and just enjoy them. The singing messages are about 30 seconds long to sing, which is long for a voice mail, but that’s these lyrics’ “price” of fun. What does your greeting have? Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality? Many times, when we call our friends, family members, or any other places, all we get is the voicemail. But when that message on the other side of the line is plain, it can really put someone off. You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call just so they can listen to the greeting again. how to greet customers in a call center personal phone message greeting clever business voicemail greetings Close Project funny voicemail after vaccine My Account. Home Personal My Voicemail Greeting. My Voicemail Greeting. Various messages for using with my cellphone voicemail. Phone Greeting Generic. Phone greeting 2. Phone greeting 3. Ringtone- hey your phone is ringing sung. Angry Southern Man. Clint Eastwood. Irish Phone Msg. I can't find the phone. Pick up the phone. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you. Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages I've put in for you guys. Download: Click on icon next to each track or the 'FULL BOARD' button to add to your cart Per Track: $0.99 or FULL BOARD $4.99. Singing, Coca-Cola Version. Spice Girls. Having Sex, Ahhh. Marvin The Martian. Mission Impossible This is it. If you are not satisfied with the custom voicemail greeting, then follow the same steps and do it again. 21. "Hello, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we'll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you're so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]" sample business voice message greetings how to call bmobile voicemail funny greetings for text Close Project how to greet someone in a call Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording. Maralee McKee is dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be and to live a confident, kind, and generous life! She is a contemporary etiquette, manners, and people skill expert and the founder of the prestigious Etiquette School of America. She's in the top one percent of experts in her field, and her etiquette skills blog is the most read in the United States. Maralee presents business etiquette seminars to corporations large and small and coaches individuals one-on-one virtually and in-person. Her book on how moms can teach their children to become the best version of themselves (Harvest House Publishing) earned the prestigious Mom’s Choice Gold Award for excellence in parenting books. When the Queen asked Prince William and Prince Harry to help her set up her voicemail, they recorded a voicemail greeting that said “Hey wassup! This is Liz. Sorry, I’m away from the throne. For a hotline to Philip, press one. For Charles, press two. And for the corgis, press three.“ When you want callers to leave a message, make sure your voicemail greeting indicates that. Be sure to keep your greeting short and direct, and include the info you want to capture. “I am trapped in this box, and I can’t get out. Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!” Straight To Voicemail App Lets You Go Straight To Someone S Voicemail Without Ringing Their Phone Great Way To Call In Sick An App Voicemail Talking To You what should i say in my personal voicemail greeting what are good things to say on a prank call funny business voicemail greetings Close Project X