I personally don't like voicemail. I don't check messages because my phone identifies missed calls. I know who these people are and why they are calling. I don't want to spend (waste)time hearing nothing of importance. I have left messages saying
Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
.
“How do you leave an idiot in suspense? Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you… Bye!”
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-Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep-
These were some of the best and funny voice-mail greetings. Try recording them in your voice mailbox.
Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
Hello, you have reached the _______'s residence; we cannot reach the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. (Then you find something that makes a beeping sound, and make the beep sound, then wait 5 seconds, until they start talking, then make another beep, and do that over and over.)
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
Different businesses may require different types of greetings. This is the ultimate list that can work for a wide array of company messages.
“You’ve reached Bernice’s phone. I’m getting a tooth pulled on Tuesday and don’t feel like talking. In fact, I’ll probably sleep for about four days after the procedure. Tooth resorption is not a joke, friends. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let your human brush your damn teeth, even if it feels like you’re about to DIE by way of tiny toothbrush. Also, I’ll be accepting gifts of gravy in the days following the extraction.”
Website: https://www.slideshare.net/voicemailprofessional/best-voicemail-greetings
If you still have this for a greeting, you might be interested to know that your friends hate you.
22. "Hi, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. We're closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year's, Fourth of July, etc.]."
9. AT&T Visual Voicemail. With AT&T Visual Voicemail, you get easier access to voicemails. You get visual voicemails straight from your mobile carrier that increases the accuracy of reading the voicemails and removes the need to call from your mail inbox.
Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Leave a message at the beep.